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Overall Rating
2.31

Awesome: 15.63%
Worth A Look: 4.69%
Average: 20.31%
Pretty Bad: 14.06%
Total Crap45.31%

4 reviews, 40 user ratings


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Beloved (1998)
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by Chris Parry

"Just plain disturbing."
2 stars

When this film was released it was hyped as an important movie. Here was going to be the return to the big screen of Oprah Winfrey, the most powerful women in media. Alas, when all was said and done, Beloved sunk like a stone and, though it was nominated for a slew of awards at the Acapulco Black Film Festival, it was beaten in every category by The Negotiator, Hav Plenty and How Stella Got Her Groove Back. And rightly so. Beloved may be an important literary work, but as a movie it’s merely a series of disturbing images, unreal characters and confused ideals.

Oprah Winfrey is Sethe, an escaped slave who has made her way to, and a new life in, Cincinnati Ohio, having been abused and tortured in Kentucky for most of her adult life. Having sneaked her kids out with her (and giving birth along the way), her new life is one that is impeded on a regular basis by the fact that a rather pissy ghost inhabits her home. When an old friend (Danny Glover) comes by to stay, the ghost (Thandie Newton) decides that it’s time to make her physical presence felt and comes home – despite the fact that she has the mind of a baby in the body of a woman.

If this sounds weird to you and maybe hard to follow, that’s because it’s weird and hard to follow. The flick opens with the family dog being flung around the room by the angry ghost. Now, I could have dealt with a quick glimpse of the dog’s eyes hanging out of their sockets, but the four or five shots of this, including the shot of Oprah pushing them back in, really didn’t put me in a receptive mood. If that were the only foul image in this flick I might have let it slide, but there’s barely five minutes in this film that doesn’t include someone being whipped, killed or dismembered. There’s a urination scene involving Queen Oprah herself that borders on something you’d see in a Dutch porn movie, a birth scene (there’s a lot of things coming out of Oprah’s minge in this film) and even a rape scene (Thandie Newton raping Danny Glover - like THAT’S going to happen).

In amongst all that, there’s supposed to be a tense story about slavery in the south and racism and blah blah blah… hey, I’m sorry there were slaves and all, but do I really need to watch Oprah ‘pull a pint on the piss pump’ to get the point? Do I need to see her boob milk spraying forth like ‘population paste’ to get my head around human rights? And did I really need the image of Thandie Newton forever ruined by her portrayal of a naked zombie baby with a massively-matted ‘banger hanger’ about to jump aboard Danny Glover’s ‘bacon bazooka’?

Put simply, the fuck I did. We could go on all day about the historic this and the literary that, but in reality what it comes down to is this flick is a damn chore. Maybe it wasn’t supposed to be easy and maybe the movie is a fair adaptation of the book, but movies and books are not identical. They require different qualities to move an audience.

And the only thing Beloved moved was my lunch.

link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=430&reviewer=1
originally posted: 09/23/02 13:06:32
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User Comments

7/27/09 DaBlackX The only people who didn't like this movie are racist white people. 5 stars
4/17/08 mommy man this movie is the bomb, if you don't like it, you must be white. 5 stars
10/14/07 TRD Great Performances-Too Long-Would be good w/out the dead "Beloved" demon part 2 stars
10/11/07 T.Baby Hard to follow but interesting enough to watch 4 stars
9/24/07 Mirella Nice review MissDelicateFlower! I felt guilty to feel the same way about Thandie Newton! 4 stars
10/30/05 millersxing Oumou Sangare's heart-stopping voice breathes into the lyrical prose and the performances. 5 stars
6/25/05 jacquie greatly disterbing in it's way of presenting visually 1 stars
9/26/04 John Q There is no other movie that made my eyes bleed more than Oprah Winfrey's "Beloved". 1 stars
3/24/04 Jaie Spencer The movie is a allegory about the middle passage, so there are disturbing scenes Grow up! 5 stars
1/15/04 Betty White Hugely underrated, misunderstood drama. Richards is especially good. 5 stars
11/25/03 Sean Thomas Even though I am black, I have to admit that this movie was absolutely horrible. 1 stars
11/22/03 adguy Bad...bad...bad. The negative should be buried with a stake through it's heart! 1 stars
10/20/03 JIMMY this film sucks 1 stars
6/06/03 Dog The most God-AWFUL , boring, sick piece of shit I have ever seen. 1 stars
3/17/03 Robbie Banfitch just my opinion 5 stars
3/09/03 Onyx Long and pointless. I want my money back. 1 stars
10/21/02 Steph Ok...watching oprah winfrey urinate is supposed to be 'deep'..? 1 stars
9/24/02 Charles Tatum Incredibly acted and downright frightening 5 stars
2/25/02 Butterbean Aimless piece of shit. This movie is as deep as "Pootie Tang". 1 stars
1/03/02 Andrew Carden The Worst Movie Of 1999. 1 stars
8/31/01 TLsmooth Oprah and TMC2 are the only two people in the world who enjoyed this shitburger. 1 stars
6/01/00 TERRIE SMITH Very slow, complex, disturbing, boring but worth one look 3 stars
12/25/99 Obi Wan WORSE MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!! I was beggin for a fire in there!! Kill Mr Pink! 1 stars
11/05/99 Mickey "Father Death" MacJohnstmyster "Freedom of speech not only live's it ROCKS !, well Oprah You are shit at everything you do 1 stars
9/05/99 Weird Andy Crumby book(Nobel Prize my ass!). Worse flick. 1 stars
7/02/99 Sleeper My ma always say to find something nice to say.............I'll get back to you. 1 stars
6/28/99 Steve Bashakus These dumb motherfuckers shouldn't review what they can't understand. This movie is deep! 5 stars
3/25/99 Viral Messiah Sigh. Truly disappointing. 1 stars
12/10/98 Marion Davies Terrible movie! Boring, overly complex plot, poorly acted & directed, sappy, sacharine!! 2 stars
12/05/98 frank the watchman My little sisters diary was more interesting than this piece of shit movie 1 stars
12/04/98 N.Ana Good movie. This movie can and will disgust but has value. Naysayers open your eyes! 4 stars
11/24/98 Mr.Pink I had to admit that I loved it, see this!!! 5 stars
11/24/98 DrEvil The Pia Zadora syndrome strikes again: too much money for too little talent. 1 stars
11/11/98 James T. Montgomery This thing fucking sucked ass...it was horrible, Roots was better than this piece of shit. 1 stars
11/09/98 Spice So I walked out of the theater saying I paided to see that movie! 1 stars
11/05/98 Princess Oprah--excellent actress, worst producer in the world 1 stars
10/29/98 zenball give it up Oprah and stick to television 1 stars
10/21/98 grunter Convoluted and pretentious; Thandie Newton should receive a Razzie for Most Annoying Actor 1 stars
10/20/98 Milhouse Faqw Best Movie Of The Year. Don't believe the hype-this movie is wonderful. 5 stars
10/05/98 amie it is pretty bad, I saw a preview through the Oprah show. I didn't like this film at all. 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  16-Oct-1998 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  06-May-1999 (PG)




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