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Overall Rating
1.92

Awesome: 9.09%
Worth A Look: 9.09%
Average: 11.36%
Pretty Bad: 5.68%
Total Crap64.77%

6 reviews, 52 user ratings


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Soldier
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by Chris Parry

"Continuing my recent tradition of enjoying movies that suck..."
3 stars

Soldier took a lot of crap when it opened. "Kurt Russell only has a dozen lines" they screamed. "Cliche!" yelled others. So I didn't go see the thing. I believed the naysayers when they unanimously said nay. And it was probably a good move to do so, for while Soldier isn't the worst film I've had the misfortune to sit through, at least I didn't spend money on it, and without the burden of expectation in regards to getting my money's worth, I actually quite liked the thing. Who'd have thunk it, eh? Superstar and Soldier in the same month. Either I'm losing my mind or the rest of you are.

Kurt Russell is a career soldier in the future. A guy snatched from the crib as a kid and raised as an unthinking killer. But hark, times have changed and a new breed of genetically altered soldier has made Kurt obsolete. So the big lug hitches a ride on a garbage carrier headed for a dumping planet and finds himself making friends with the local inhabitants, which means endless days spent beating the crap out of a steel watertank, scaring the kiddies, killing snakes, refusing hugs and learning how to be human... until the new soldiers hit the dumping planet on a mission to destroy anyone hanging about.

Sure, Soldier isn't perfect. In fact, it treads the line between cliche and original thought very seldomly, more often than not moving into and stomping all over 'cliche' territory. The concept is fine enough, but the script doesn't back up that concept in any way worth mentioning. The possibility of genetic designer soldiers being brought about some time in the future isn't beyond the realms of possibility, and nor is the possibility that an upgrade in technology would leave those soldiers superceded and looking for a reason to live. But if you were to take Soldier as a theoretical building block, you'd be left with nothing more than... a building block. The ideas are not followed through, opinions aren't established, it's like a knock knock joke that ends with the knock knock.

Russell doesn't suck. Trust me, I'm no Russell fan, he wears far too much mascara for my liking (check out Tombstone if you don't believe me, he looks like a two dollar ho), but let's give credit where it's due, he only has eleven or so lines in this script, none of them longer than about five words. Due to this he has to spend a lot of time 'emoting', which would be hard normally, but damn hard when your character doesn't actually possess emotions.

Kurt: "What's my motivation?"
Director: "Stare, panic internally, stare at boobies, frown, stare."

The longer this film goes, the lamer it gets, but it does have a bit going for it. There are times when you're glad of the lack of chatter, but those times are punctuated by long periods of wondering why there's an orchestral score banging away in the background. The action sequences make all the right noises, but they don't last long enough to be memorable. And though the ending threatens to veer into formula city, it manages to keep clear of groan-inducing simplicity.

In short, it's cable fare. Obviously Russell was well sold on the concept, but it would have been nice if the producers had tried to match Russell's level of dedication to the project. Hire a screenwriter you morons.

link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=434&reviewer=1
originally posted: 11/11/00 16:20:05
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User Comments

4/03/13 PAUL SHORTT BRUTAL, DERIVATIVE SCIENCE-FICTION 1 stars
8/02/11 Chris F Not as bad as people say it is decent movie 4 stars
6/20/10 Jeff Wilder Awful script. Russell's not too bad. 2 stars
6/13/09 Wiseman @Q#*!$ 5 stars
3/14/08 Brant Williams The soldier's evolution into real feelings and friendships is outstanding. 5 stars
5/14/07 KingNeutron Ignore critics, this movie was totally AWESOME. Connie N + Kurt FTW! 5 stars
10/20/06 sanjay Kurt russell is awesomw as always 5 stars
8/17/05 ES The ideas presented in this film were excellent, action scenes are superb and a good story 5 stars
6/10/05 Indrid Cold Bad, but the ferocious, bone-crunching hand-to-hand combat at the end is worth it. 3 stars
5/30/05 Ruud de Graaf There is action, SF, a logic story line and Connie Neilsen. What more do you want? 4 stars
2/11/05 Jeff Anderson For all the cool & awesome talent on display, THIS FILM BLOWS! Russell walks away unscathed 1 stars
5/14/04 John surprisingly empty and predictable 2 stars
5/05/04 J.Peckerfoot Oh dear.Back away slowly from this film.Keep going.Bit more.Thats it.Keep real quiet. 1 stars
4/12/04 gromm Great premise. Good start. Soldier starts to get a soul, then the fight starts... 2 stars
2/19/04 sweetgrrl1972 The textbook definition of "Popcorn Flick"! 4 stars
1/25/04 maxpayne at nyc.com you peeps don't get it, that's all - anyone needs to be enlightened, email me 5 stars
1/07/04 y2mckay I liked this for the same reason I liked 3KM to Graceland - mindless guilty-pleasure fun 3 stars
1/06/04 tatum Ka-Boom! Yawn... 1 stars
1/01/03 Jack Sommersby Not exactly original ,but it gets the job done. Russell is typically solid. 3 stars
1/22/02 Andrew Carden I Stopped Watching It After 20 Minutes. 1 stars
11/14/01 Zizzerzazzerzuzz Enjoyable but kinda dumb. At least Goldie Hawn isn't in it. 3 stars
8/19/01 Dr. Thompson The ending stunk, but it was pretty cool until then...whats up with you people? 4 stars
7/15/01 Rampage Damn you Russell. Also whoever made that movie. Loser. 1 stars
5/01/01 Thrillhouse don't waste your money on this dirtbag 1 stars
12/04/00 Cristopher Revilla good idea, but it all goes down to shit at the end, don't watch this, save your money. 1 stars
11/14/00 Crispin Cliched but well executed. So much better than the credit it gets. 4 stars
4/29/00 Pansy Russell's dumbest movie, worse than Solo 1 stars
10/20/99 Lame-Oh boring, tasteless, stupid, and illogical 1 stars
7/20/99 Imagoner Dude, it really sucked. Kurt Russell can't even act as an action hero! 1 stars
6/10/99 Hungry Hungry Hippo Kurt Russell knows how to play an action hero..... 5 stars
5/10/99 Ah Dooey I thought the movie was good... only to be a waste of my time! 1 stars
4/16/99 Mr. Kramitall no comment 1 stars
4/13/99 Go Swans People at my screening enjoyed this film. Then again, it was near Moe. 1 stars
3/25/99 James Coffey Horrible movie. Peoples said it exists in the same universe as 'Blade Runner'(blasphemy) 1 stars
3/10/99 Oggy bad bad bad bad 1 stars
1/31/99 El Dorko God, I'm outta here after seeing this putrid crap. What the hell was that? 1 stars
1/28/99 Whiplash Mr. BBQ Bob, multiple ratings are bad, okay? Just not do it again, okay? 1 stars
12/12/98 Joseph Blow Yhe horror.... the horror 1 stars
12/05/98 Jason Stein This movie sucked hard, THE worst of 98 1 stars
12/03/98 Kirgo An awful movie that wasn't even funny awful..what a waste. 1 stars
11/24/98 Ray Russ As penance for paying to watch this piece-of-shit I blinded myself 1 stars
11/17/98 Tom Ripley Great flick; did *anyone* else like it? 4 stars
11/13/98 Swan An excellent, but misread performance! Sociologically fascinating. Will becom cult favorite 5 stars
11/12/98 Nick Rogers Boring, uninspired, sleep-inducing 1 stars
11/06/98 Mr Showbiz The most militantly bad, cookie-cutter futuristic action movie since The Postman 1 stars
10/28/98 Negative Creep Damn Fine for action. But dont look for much else. 4 stars
10/27/98 Lord Of The Dunce What a stinker. 1 stars
10/27/98 Hunk@prodigy.net I have seen anything this bad since Mafia. 1 stars
10/24/98 16 in. of swingin' meat and a bucket of balls This movie smacks of ass. You came to the wrong place if you were looking for depth. 2 stars
10/19/98 Dark Horizons Warner Bros. has yet another sure-fire dud on their hands. 2 stars
9/23/98 Couch Potato Critic Though nowhere as good as Blade Runner, I enjoyed Peoples' script but still Anderson sucks. 4 stars
8/30/98 {{{OZ}}} Very shoddy. For $2 day only. Paul Anderson is a dead set hack. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  23-Oct-1998 (R)
  DVD: 02-Mar-1999

UK
  N/A

Australia
  26-Nov-1998 (MA)




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