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Overall Rating
1.94

Awesome: 9.38%
Worth A Look: 9.38%
Average: 3.13%
Pretty Bad: 21.88%
Total Crap56.25%

3 reviews, 14 user ratings


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Double Take (2001)
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by Chris Parry

"It's like one of those terrible Sprite ads stretched out over 90 minutes."
1 stars

In case you couldn't work it out from the name, the cast and the unfunny ad campaign... Double Take sucks ass. It's not funny. It's not clever. It's no even coherent. Double Take is a case of some exec in Hollywood learning from an underpaid, overstressed, out-of-touch underling that Orlando Jones is 'hot' and giving him a development deal. It's a case of putting shit on a screen and paying a lot of money in advertising to make the lesser thinking among us that there's something on that screen that doesn't stink. Simply, it's a great example of everything that's wrong with Hollywood, and if you find a friend suggesting it as a video rental, I'm telling you right now to pnhc that friend in the face, and throw another punch at him as he falls, just to make sure. Then kick him repeatedly in the stomach and shove the Blockbuster video box of this monstrosity into his mouth - then pour engine oil through his teeth, just like the Iraqis did to Mark Wahlberg in Three Kings. Then run, because the cops will throw your ass in jail if you do all that shit to a guy in a video store. What are you, crazy?

Black banker set up by druglord is accused of murder, black ghettoboy appears and is a pain in banker's hiney. Hijinks and ridiculous plot twists ensue. Audience leaves vowing to spend their next ten bucks at the bowling alley, rather than another god damned awful movie like that.

So why did people go see this bollocks? Because they were told to. Because the ads said it was funny. Helen Keller could have worked out that it wasn't, but people went because people are stupid as all hell and never question whether a movie will be good - only whether they've heard of it.

I mean, how many times have you been at the video store or cineplex with someone and you want to see something that looks awesome and original and neato, and they say, "Never heard of it." Doesn't that just make smoke come out of your ears? Is there a more ridiculous reason not to see a movie than, "Never heard of it"?

Of course you've never heard of it! There's no reaosn to spend $35m promoting a movie if it's good! They spend that much promoting a movie that sucks so hard your wig will fly off and stick to the screen until it's done.

Ergo, if you've heard of it, it's likely stinky. Another fine rule of thumb is, if Peter Travers of Rolling Stone is the only one quoted on the advertising, it sucks - because he's a whore.

Another fine rule is that if you see Freddie Prinze on the cast list... well, you know.

So you want to know more about the actual story in Double Take? No, you don't. Seriously, I refuse to tell you. I'm just going to leave it hanging, and not even risk that you find the slightest reason to actually go waste your lifeforce enduring this unoriginal take on the old buddy cop chase movie genre. "He's straight, he's wacky, oh my god, are we gonna have some fun!"

Not fucking likely.

link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=4706&reviewer=1
originally posted: 01/04/02 13:41:09
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

9/05/06 Petros Gonidis I bet I know the skin colour of all you people who left your bilious comments! 5 stars
12/06/05 J.D. Pittman III How could you not like this movie. It's hilarious. Those who hate it don't know. 5 stars
7/25/05 Pmoney84 The best actor in the movie was the dog 3 stars
10/16/04 Joey funny as hell, definitely good for some laughs and NOT broing 4 stars
11/28/03 Samuel drags on...very boring!! 2 stars
3/24/03 Christina Ths movie was funny as hell. This movie will keep you laughing from beginning to end. 5 stars
1/19/03 Zaharin Hamid aka The Movie Samseng What's wrong with you people. This has gotta be the most under-rated movie ever! 4 stars
11/11/01 Andrew Carden Very Bad Lead Actors, No Experience With Good Comedy At All. 1 stars
9/02/01 Butterbean You take two mediocre comedians in a movie with a tired plot and you get a pile of bullshit 1 stars
2/24/01 ladislau Good acting/Nice locations/Good Camera 4 stars
2/04/01 Nic I found myself checking my watch every 5 minutes, seeing how much more I had to sit through 1 stars
2/03/01 brentley during this movie, i walked up to the screen & vomited all over it 1 stars
1/21/01 Boy In The Designer Bubble This racist trash should only be shown to death row inmates as punishement until execution. 1 stars
1/15/01 Silo .... 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  12-Jan-2001 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  01-Mar-2000 (M)




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