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Overall Rating

Awesome: 11.9%
Worth A Look: 21.43%
Pretty Bad: 19.05%
Total Crap: 10.71%

6 reviews, 48 user ratings

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America's Sweethearts
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by Brian McKay

"I found a movie where Julia Roberts is NOT the most annoying cast member"
2 stars

"America's Sweethearts" is trying to be one of those "Hollywood insider" type of comedies that pokes fun at the industry and its celebrities. Maybe it's funny to insiders, but the rest of us just tend to shrug and roll our eyes. As films that parody the film industry go, I haven't seen such a big steaming pile of mediocrity since "Bowfinger"

The film centers around estranged husband and wife movie star team Gwen Harrison (Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas-whateverthefuck) and Eddie Thomas (John Cusack). They were America's dream celeb couple until she got bored, ran off, and shacked up with Hector, a.k.a. "The Spaniard" (played hilariously by Hank Azaria, one of the films few bright spots). Eddie goes nuts at being dumped and hides out in some kind of cultist retreat to try and get his shit together. Meanwhile, Gwen keeps making movies - which bomb miserably now that she's no longer making them with Eddie. The couple seems to be a parody of several failed hollywood marriages, from Cruise-Kidman to Quaid-Ryan.

Enter publicist Lee (Billy Crystal), whose charge is to reunite the couple long enough to promote the last film they had made together, which has been languishing in the editing room of Joe Esterhaz-esque filmmaker Hal Wideman (Christopher Walken) who is so eccentric that he bought Ted Kascinzki's unabomber cabin and transplanted it to his back yard.

Julia Roberts, surprisingly, has the least annoying role in the film. This is really a first. I can't stand this woman, but her personality is toned down a few notches for this film, making her fairly tolerable. The crown for most annoying actor and character goes to Zeta-Jones, hands down. Any scene with her in it quickly gets tedious. Roberts, as Gwen's sister, Kiki, is the down to earth, level-headed assistant who secretly carries a flame for Eddie. Are we really supposed to believe that these two women really came from the same gene pool, though?

Anyway, you should already be able to tell where this movie will go from there, and who will end up with who. The movie is not completely without it's charms, and there are some genuine laugh-out-loud moments. However, the majority of them are provided by Cusack and Azaria (and occasionally, Crystal, though his humor usually falls flat). This leaves the rest of the cast looking like they are just standing around. Walken's character could have been the funniest of the bunch if it had been properly developed, but his talent is completely wasted here and he only has about five minutes of screen time. For the most part, it is as tedious and hackneyed a piece of filmmaking as you're likely to find, and the laughs are too uneven and sporadic to make the film as a whole very worthwhile. It's probably worth sitting through once for scenes like the fight between Cusack and Azaria in the restaurant, where the Spaniard keeps referring to Eddie as "Pussy Boy".

If you don't mind wading through the shit to get to the nuggets of gold, then you'll probably find it tolerable. It gets a little funnier toward the end, making up for the draggy first half, which is the only reason I didn't give it a rating of "Sucks all Ass." However, the shelf-life of this Sweetheart should be short indeed.

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originally posted: 07/21/01 19:47:58
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User Comments

11/23/17 Katrina c America,s sweethearts was fun to watch i love billy crystal 4 stars
8/05/09 Josie Cotton is a goddess Hit and miss 3 stars
7/27/09 RLan Good cast hampered by a real bad script. 2 stars
9/28/08 Samantha Pruitt very funny and smart, cute characters 4 stars
3/03/08 ladavies I don't know why I bothered. 2 stars
7/27/04 Desperado One of the funniest movies I have seen, if u dont like it ur a dipshit 5 stars
6/10/04 Crystal the worst movie ever 1 stars
1/01/04 Monster W. Kung Starts out ok, then falls apart. 2 stars
10/12/03 laura paterson only thing that spoils it is Zeta-Jones! otherwise perfect cast! 4 stars
5/06/03 Joesco Nowhere near as cynically pointed as it could have been and a waste of the stars 2 stars
1/06/03 Zaharin Hamid aka The Movie Samseng Dear Joe Roth, fuck you! The ultimate let down ever! 1 stars
11/16/02 Big Ted Very Disappointing 2 stars
6/13/02 Bada Bing Crosby movie was crap, kinda like Gary Vidmar's disrespect for women 1 stars
6/12/02 hilarydsur awesome-hilarious 5 stars
4/04/02 cat I love John, I love Catherine, I love Julia, but the end was the only remotely funny part. 4 stars
3/04/02 Marcia Lartz Fairly good. Surprising to see C. Zeta-Jones rebound so well from being stuck up in traffic 4 stars
12/17/01 The Bomb 69 I hate to admit it but I laughed quite often!!! 4 stars
12/08/01 Corinna Adam Great Movie,with very great John Cusack 5 stars
11/22/01 Andrew Carden So Funny, and The Best Direction For 2001! 5 stars
11/10/01 jawsboy cusack kicks ass, but the trailer was probably better than this movie. entertaining though. 3 stars
10/27/01 Lydia It was a great movie , I can't stop laughing since the movie started 5 stars
10/02/01 Phoenix I didn't think I would like it, but it was a hilarious film. 5 stars
9/13/01 Lynda See it on video. 3 stars
8/22/01 The Boy In The Designer Bubble Julia Roberts looks like a female Mr Ed. How did she become a movie star? 2 stars
8/18/01 Suzz not bad but not good either 3 stars
8/05/01 rogue I have to love Cusack in any movie, And Crystal was a riot, Julia i could have done without 4 stars
8/05/01 Greyjack Crystal & Cusack are very funny; Zeta Jones looks great as always. Fun movie. 4 stars
8/05/01 Jarred Are there any other actress in Hollwood 'cept julia and "j-ho/lo" 1 stars
8/05/01 Diana Uhrich Disappointig. Some vulgar scenes. Good chemistry between Roberts and Cusack. 3 stars
8/04/01 Mortis Usually I never pay to see Julia's film -I vow to never pay again! I want my money back! 1 stars
7/31/01 BBReBozo If I wasn't in the middle of my crowded row, I would have walked out of this piece of fuck. 1 stars
7/30/01 John Lyons Funny, but really tired of Julia Roberts 4 stars
7/30/01 glo funny in spots. crystal is great as usual. julia roberts is eye candy along with zeta jones 3 stars
7/29/01 GUV'Ness Julia's annoying screaching cackle of a laugh is getting old very old 1 stars
7/28/01 Geebo Cusack was great, the movie was okay. 4 stars
7/28/01 Denise Overall very amusing, laughs make up for its shortcomings 4 stars
7/27/01 Susan Great people, but the writing SUCKED!! 2 stars
7/25/01 Jim Muller I wanted to "Like" this movie. It wasn't REAL enough to allow me to "CARE". "INSIDE JOKE"-? 2 stars
7/24/01 Belittle This was great, anyone that disagrees is RETARDED 5 stars
7/24/01 jada john WHY?????? 2 stars
7/24/01 Debbie Great movie - lots of fun. If Julia smiles, its got to be good! 5 stars
7/23/01 anusface billy crystal's face on poster: I will never see this shitpile, craphole, vomit-bag garbge 1 stars
7/22/01 tom rush a really funny enjoyable film 5 stars
7/22/01 sdfk Worth it for several good moments and lines 4 stars
7/21/01 John Torres Julia Roberts she suck in everthing shes in 2 stars
7/21/01 Jake Ugh! What crap. I'm so sick of seeing the trailer on TV. 1 stars
7/20/01 Roselani Scott Great movie. I loved it! 5 stars
7/18/01 Mr. Shmegma Julia & John are great, but a very weak picture. 3 stars
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  04-Oct-2001 (M)

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