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Overall Rating

Awesome: 19.51%
Worth A Look: 15.24%
Average: 17.68%
Pretty Bad: 11.59%
Total Crap35.98%

6 reviews, 128 user ratings

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Jason X
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by Rob Gonsalves

"Oafish '80s-time-capsule fun. The operative word here is 'fun.'"
4 stars

Has it really been 22 years since the saga of Jason Voorhees began? I was ten years old in the summer of 1980, when the original 'Friday the 13th' promptly became the gotta-see-it movie among teens and preteens. Never mind that the killer in the original text was not Jason but his grief-maddened mother; a campfire legend was born, and Jason would return in eight subsequent movies (well, seven, if you don't count 1985's 'Friday the 13th: A New Beginning,' wherein the killer turned out to be a psychotic copycat) to slice and dice sexually active teenagers.

If you detect a bit of fondness in my tone, you're not mistaken. Yes, the Friday the 13th movies are lower-common-denominator slasher entries whose only nod to variety from film to film is the method of murder. Yes, Jason is a cheeseball recap of Michael Myers -- Friday the 13th was neither the first nor last rip-off of Halloween, simply the most lucrative. And yes, while Halloween may have popularized the slasher-film "fuck and die" motif, the Friday the 13th series patented it. I know all this, and yet my affection for all things lame and bad about the '80s inevitably extends to Jason Voorhees and his escapades at Camp Crystal Lake. Like it or not, Jason is part of my (and maybe your) youth, and part of horror-movie history. Earlier generations had Dracula, the Wolfman, and the Frankenstein monster; we Gen-Xers had Michael, Freddy ... and Jason.

So it's with a mixture of exasperation ("You gotta be kidding me," says a character in the film, and most in the audience would echo her) and gladness that I greet Jason again, after a nine-year hiatus, in Jason X, which has been gathering shelf dust for a couple of years now. Is the movie good? Well, no: have any of the movies in this series been "good"? You judge these films by a special set of criteria:

- Is it scary? (Occasionally.)

- Is it funny? (Sometimes quite funny, and even intentionally so.)

- Any gratuitous sex/nudity? (Yes.)

- Are the murders imaginative? (There are a couple of good ones.)

So on those terms, Jason X succeeds, but no one will likely mistake it for the latest Merchant-Ivory opus. The premise occupies the borderline between clever and cretinous: In the near future, Jason (Kane Hodder, returning as the hockey-masked brute for the fourth time) has been cryogenically preserved after numerous attempts to kill him have failed. Some suicidally stupid scientists, led by David Cronenberg in an amusing cameo, thaw Jason out to study him and see exactly why he's so unkillable. (The reason: Paramount wanted to make lots of money back in the '80s.) Predictably, Jason breaks loose and kills pretty much everyone within reach. He's about to finish off his last prey -- Rowan (Lexa Doig), a scientist who opposed thawing him out -- when both he and Rowan are frozen. And there they stay until 2455, when a space crew happens across them. They bring Rowan, who can be brought back to life, and Jason, whom they believe to be dead, onto their spaceship.

Bad move. Most of Jason X plays like a geek's conflation of Friday the 13th and Aliens remixed as a videogame. Jason makes swift work of the soldiers on board; another suicidally stupid scientist (Jonathan Potts, in the Paul Reiser role) looks at Jason and sees dollar signs, and orders him to be taken alive; many people die. Director Jim Isaacs (who has worked on a few Cronenberg movies -- hence the drop-ins by that director plus Cronenberg regular Robert Silverman) and writer Todd Farmer concoct some brutally creative ways for Jason's victims to meet their maker: one poor woman gets her head dunked in a vat of liquid nitrogen, whereupon Jason smashes her frozen, brittle skull against a counter; a soldier falls onto a large screw (never mind what it's doing there) and revolves slowly down as it impales him; a couple of guys get to die make-believe deaths in a battle simulation, then die again for real at Jason's hands.

Some of this is exuberantly crappy bad fun. When the ship's android, the babelicious Kay-Em 14 (Lisa Ryder), brings out a mega-gun in each hand and puts zillions of bullets in Jason, we're in Tomb Raider territory (the game, not the sorry-ass movie). When a crew member gets his arm hacked off by accident, it gets reattached with futuristic ease (oddly, not much comes of this new-fangled healing technology; when Jason sets out to dismember people, they stay dismembered). For longtime students of the series, there's a legitimately fine comic sequence in which the surviving crew members, in an attempt to distract Jason, put him in a virtual-reality sim of Camp Crystal Lake. For a brief moment, new-school splatterpunk steps aside for old-school slash, and the sequence, prankish as it is (the sim comes complete with a couple of giggling, topless girls in sleeping bags), points up what's fundamentally wrong with Jason X: It just isn't the same when Jason stalks the sterile halls of a spaceship. The Halloween movies need to unfold in placid suburbia, and the Friday the 13th movies need a rural lakeside setting; you need to almost smell the pine and hear the waves lapping the shore. (No lake, no gratuitous skinny-dipping.) It might have been clever to have the VR Camp Crystal Lake sequence go on longer, pitting the futuristic crew members against Jason on his familiar turf. Not that Jason loses any advantage no matter where he finds himself; he skulks his way around a 25th-century spacecraft as if he's been in a dozen of them.

Those who feel the way I do about the Friday the 13th series -- those who break into a small, guilty grin when recalling the hours wasted in front of these things on cable or video as a teenager -- might get about as much out of Jason X as I did. Which is to say, a mildly amusing ride down memory lane. By the time Jason stomps out in full metal CyberJason mode -- looking like a geek's conflation of Jason and the Terminator (did James Cameron get any royalties?) -- the loving cheese tribute to the '80s is complete. The soundtrack could've used some New Wave tunes to match, but that's okay. All we need -- all we ever needed in these movies -- is the ominously silly chh-chh-chh-kaa-kaa-kaa on the soundtrack as stupid young people prepare to have sex while Jason lurks nearby with a machete.

And, say what you will, I'd forgotten how much a part of me (the eternally teenage part, probably) missed that.

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originally posted: 01/18/07 14:59:07
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User Comments

10/03/20 DavidV Seemed like they said "fuck it" real early in the making of this one 1 stars
10/26/17 Langano Possibly the worst movie ever made. 1 stars
9/14/17 morris campbell jason in space pretty cool 3 stars
9/02/14 Doug Alien if it were written by a moron 1 stars
11/28/12 Ricky Where is the fucking blood? 1 stars
11/05/08 stevieg actually quite fun 4 stars
8/15/08 Shaun Wallner This movie has some great scenes in it. 5 stars
8/05/08 Bnorm It was funny at first then it just got retarded. Skip it 1 stars
8/03/08 Shaun Wallner Great Horror film!! Kept me on the edge of my seat 5 stars
6/12/08 Eric "Whats going on?" "Jason FUCKING VORHEES is what's going on!" 4 stars
4/16/08 art PUT AN X ON THIS MOVIE 1 stars
9/15/07 dude bad beyond belief 1 stars
4/29/07 Austin Wertman Lame.Stupid.Pointless 1 stars
3/21/07 man bad movie 1 stars
2/09/07 MP Bartley Slick. Not scary. Kinda pointless 3 stars
1/28/07 mets1986 Best Friday in awhile..... 5 stars
11/24/06 David Pollastrini good gore. 5 stars
11/02/06 JM Synth Why are people complaining? It's a FT13 movie did they expect it to be smart? 3 stars
9/29/06 Jayson S The Android Terminatrix was awesome!! 4 stars
8/09/06 Doreen I definitely think the Producers were on drugs when making this film. NOT GOOD! 2 stars
7/24/06 Quazar best movie ever made 5 stars
1/17/06 Anthony Feor Jason in space, whats next another sequel 1 stars
11/24/05 cr visual effects good and few cool scenes other than that it stunk 1 stars
10/26/05 tony No Fucking Good! 1 stars
10/14/05 Darren O The Crystal Lake sequence is merely a reminder of how the series has declined. 1 stars
8/31/05 ES Hilarious, no where near scary but pretty cool 4 stars
8/30/05 Tom Burns An entertaining and very funny entry into the "Friday the 13th" series. Loved it! 5 stars
8/23/05 Sugarfoot Who knew the producers saw Leprecaun 4...Hilariously inept 1 stars
7/14/05 Brandy Harrington Awful. 1 stars
5/27/05 tony did they want people to hate these movies or are the producers on drugs??? 1 stars
5/15/05 Indrid Cold Given the ludicrous premise, it's a major acheivement that it doesn't completely suck. 3 stars
3/30/05 Mr. Majestyk Fuck you. I like it. 5 stars
2/24/05 ELI they only impale people. Need more interesting deaths... Oh yeah! the rest is shit. 1 stars
12/04/04 K. Sear It's really time to let it go. 1 stars
11/14/04 X $ % & ! Truly terrible. 1 stars
7/23/04 American Slasher Goddess The highlight was the robot fighting Jason, other then that, it's total and complete crap. 1 stars
7/21/04 magaafi the sleeping bag scene was its saviour...but it just couldn't b saved 1 stars
7/06/04 Littlepurch Wow this was really funny! That sleeping bag stuff had me in hysterics.Too many deaths tho! 4 stars
7/03/04 Peter Smit this one just plain sucks... it really does 1 stars
6/19/04 J Wow this is CRAP! 1 stars
6/08/04 paul bee awesome 5 stars
6/04/04 Stab Wounds Holy hell, what were the filmmakers thinking??? 1 stars
5/10/04 Croweater yes the sleeping bag scene is very funny...the films highlight. 2 stars
3/30/04 American Slasher Goddess Total and utter crap. 1 stars
3/29/04 true review - correct review everytime terrible movie, worst of the series, worst than jason goes to hell if thats possible 1 stars
3/20/04 Jack-pyschO-Lantern The worst one out of the entire FRIDAY THE 13TH series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
2/09/04 Whatevr The rating says it all. 1 stars
2/06/04 c.r It had pretty cool death scenes, not enough fear! 2 stars
2/01/04 mushroom Fuck you Jason Rules! 4 stars
1/24/04 Vinnie The sleeping bag death scene was Hilarious!!! 2 stars
1/06/04 George CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP 1 stars
12/31/03 Versin.1 wow 5 stars
12/09/03 Samuel I can tolerate to watch it, but its not scary or suspensful..sort of stupid! 3 stars
11/02/03 American Slasher Goddess The worst of the series. Ultra-lame. 1 stars
10/20/03 Josh Standlee I first saw this movie at 2:00 in the morning, and it kept me wide awake and entertained! 5 stars
10/16/03 Erik Van Sant A refreshing improvement over the last one. Miss the camp atmosphere, but it was funny. 4 stars
10/08/03 Double G Ya I can rate twice! 1 stars
9/03/03 Charles Tatum Really original, if you've never seen "Aliens" 2 stars
9/02/03 Gray would have taken effort for it to have been any worse 1 stars
8/30/03 Double G not scary, totally funny but I hated it!!!!! 1 stars
8/27/03 cosme terrazas i thought that this movie really sucks cock. 1 stars
8/23/03 Bob Dope it suck dog biscits the first jason movie were over 100 times better the this piece of carp 1 stars
8/21/03 chris martinez it was a good movie better than the other ones 4 stars
8/19/03 Jeremy Schultz It was TIGHT 5 stars
8/19/03 Patherat This film was one of the worst I have ever had the misfortune to pay money to watch 1 stars
8/19/03 demon882 tha movie was f**king gay it sucked 1 stars
8/18/03 stephanie scary as hell 5 stars
8/18/03 demon882 I think tha movie sucked it was f***ing gay 1 stars
8/17/03 Ross Mcalpin It was cool 5 stars
8/14/03 victor the movie is the best ever 5 stars
8/12/03 Troy Humphrey kick ass 5 stars
8/11/03 humail4u this is the best and horror movie of my life 5 stars
8/10/03 kayla i love jason he is cute and da bomb and i love horror movies with jason in it 5 stars
8/09/03 paulcorrell it was good and scary 4 stars
8/06/03 skydiver20032004 it was good...and the ones who thinks jason is jason never fu***** dies 5 stars
8/06/03 Erica The movie was somewhat good and dumb. 4 stars
7/29/03 Brian Moudry Best movie ever!!! 5 stars
7/29/03 Brian Moudry The movie kept me on the edge of my seat!!! 5 stars
7/24/03 M R D It was good but the ending sucked hope freedyvsjason is better 5 stars
7/22/03 Double G He finally died, he finally died, HE FINALLY DIED!!! Party at Crystal Lake!!! 1 stars
6/14/03 Jerry ***** 5 stars
6/14/03 Alice Jason X sucked big time 1 stars
6/04/03 Mike This and Jason Goes to Hell are the only good friday movies. 5 stars
5/22/03 Andrew Carden OK Effects, Hodder Is Great...but Overblown and Stupid Overall. 2 stars
5/19/03 Billy In space, no can here you scream 5 stars
5/12/03 Jareth It rips off a scene from what used to be the shittest film in the series. Fuck! That's bad! 1 stars
4/15/03 Jack Bourbon Who in the hell ever called it a "film?" Pretty amusing film. ** 3 stars
4/06/03 Dave The most pathetic of all slasher franchises reaches new lows. 1 stars
3/11/03 Tommy Linds Jason X is a piss poor effort. And to call it a film?? 1 stars
1/02/03 Chowie pppfffttt 2 stars
11/25/02 Jake Let's go in this dark room alone brain dead fools deserve to die 1 stars
11/01/02 klowns This movie ruins the friday the 13th movies. : ( lets pretend Jason X was never evented. 1 stars
10/18/02 Nevz Heeey wanna beeer? 3 stars
10/02/02 Jiz "Where is he?" Check the cameras. "Where'd he go?" Turn on the lights. Fucking retards. 1 stars
8/23/02 Nick If you are stupid, watch this movie. 2 stars
8/16/02 Shaun they must have had too much fun making it 3 stars
8/09/02 Tyner this fucking series has reached an all-time low 1 stars
7/14/02 HA AH this was so stupid, i mean jason in space? 1 stars
6/24/02 Joe This movie was great! I dont care what anyone else says!!! 5 stars
6/18/02 Brandon What a come back!! Jason Lives!! 5 stars
6/13/02 The Vegetarian Cannibal Futuristic vision of male-female relationships is as scary as Jason. What a snotfest! 1 stars
5/11/02 Veronica Foxx (The Raven-Haired Temptress) I'm a fan of horror/slasher flicks, but I was infinitely disappointed they put him in space 2 stars
5/10/02 Film Guy I was cursing myself for even paying money for this shit. I would rather watch Halloween 6 1 stars
4/30/02 Banky Edwards Heh, the sleeping bag murder scene was worth my 8 bucks!! Plus I called half of the lines!! 4 stars
4/30/02 Janx Who said this was good? It sucks! More of the same shit, but what I expected 2 stars
4/29/02 Foggy B Not Campy Enough, Not Scary Enough 2 stars
4/29/02 Nick2k stupid/funny ass movie. but i'm buying the dvd when its out just for the 'sleeping bags'... 3 stars
4/29/02 Rampage Don't waste your money on this crap-fest. Jason in space? WTH?!? 1 stars
4/29/02 strider3700 It's a slasher flick people. Go to mock it not be scared and you'll love it 3 stars
4/28/02 Chris This film was absolute crap. They need to hire some writers with talent! 1 stars
4/28/02 Spyguy2 In the mood for a big dumb horror movie that's funny, cheesy, and over-the-top? This is it 4 stars
4/28/02 TimmyTomorrow Fun was had by all!!! 5 stars
4/27/02 esfse Fuck this crap! This shit sucks! 1 stars
4/27/02 Farty Being sodomized by a truck driver would be better than this film 1 stars
4/26/02 James Kick ass! Big improvement over Jason Goes To Hell. 5 stars
4/26/02 Julian Awesome! 5 stars
4/24/02 Roy Smith Remarkably well written/acted - did I say that? Who expected it to be this good?!? 5 stars
4/24/02 masin wolliams hot diggity damn! Jason is back! who needs a plot?!?! 5 stars
4/24/02 Wade Awesome movie!! Great kills and just plain fun. 5 stars
4/23/02 wintermute Holy Shit this movie was bad - I can easily see why it has been on the shelf for 2 years! 1 stars
4/22/02 NeuroManson Found it online a week early, some funny stuff, but don't expect MacBeth either... 3 stars
4/02/02 lauren mccreight the best of the bunch!! 4 stars
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  26-Apr-2002 (R)



Directed by
  James Isaac

Written by
  Todd Farmer

  Kane Hodder
  Lexa Doig
  Lisa Ryder
  Jonathon Potts
  Melyssa Ade
  David Cronenberg

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