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Overall Rating

Awesome: 11.48%
Worth A Look: 18.03%
Average: 5.74%
Pretty Bad: 18.85%
Total Crap45.9%

10 reviews, 62 user ratings

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3,000 Miles to Graceland
[] Buy posters from this movie
by Collin Souter

"That little yellow star really shouldn't be there"
1 stars

Yeah, a half-star would be more appropriate. Click here and you can read my musical movie the tune of The King's "All Shook Up" Enjoy.

Curse-a-my soul
This film is really lame
Makes The fricking Postman look like Citizen Kane
Costner, Russell, Slater are all Elvis’d-up
It really sucks
It’s all fucked up
Uh-uh-uh! No! God, no!

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time
‘True Romance’ grows more popular with passings of time
Elvis, guns, sideburns all sounds mighty fine
But they all should have read the script before they signed

Curse-a-my soul
This film is really lame
It opens like some Dave-and-Busters video game
MTV techno and some cine-muck
It really sucks
It’s all fucked up
Uh-uh-uh! No! God no!

Well, the movie revs up quickly
Then runs out of gas
Director gets ideas from the hole in his ass
One look at the script and they all should have passed
I can’t believe this kind of shit is made for the mass-es!

Curse-a-my soul
This movie really blows
How it got the cast and greenlight—nobody knows
In no time flat, it just goes belly-up
It really sucks
It’s all fucked up
Uh-uh-uh! No! God no!

Well, the scripts at Project Greenlight rarely got this bad
Kurt Russell, Courtney Cox both look pretty sad
She tries to steal money that’s in his bag
So, she’s a thief as well
And, well, he’s been had

This movie has no brain
It tries to be intriguing like a cat and mouse game
I could explain the plot, but it’s a cluster-fuck
This movie sucks
It’s all fucked up
Uh-uh-uh! No! God no!

Well, Costner tries way too hard to be a bad guy
David Arquette’s lucky ‘cause he gets to die
Slater shows up, says his lines, then says ‘goodbye’
Woodbine dies first and we’re supposed to cry…why?

Curse-a-my soul
This movie couldn’t be worse
The prints should be delivered from the back of a Hearse
120 minutes and that’s enough
This movie sucks!
It’s all fucked up
Uh-huh! No! God, no!

Well, these MTV hipsters should just stay away
Directors like these make me want to prey
For the likes of ‘Ishtar’ by the great Elaine May
I barely saw a stitch of Elvis gold lame…come on!

Curse-a-my soul
This movie boggles the mind
Think of all the talent that wasted their time
It doesn’t even measure to ‘Howard The Duck’
This movie sucks
It’s all fucked up

Feel free to add your own verses. We could make this the longest-running bad review in history. I can't think of a movie more deserving.

link directly to this review at
originally posted: 02/24/01 16:43:04
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

2/14/18 Jack How the heck did this THING get made? It's beyond awful. 1 stars
9/13/17 morris campbell IT SUCKS 1 stars
3/23/16 David H. 3,000 miles to pure rubbish 1 stars
6/22/14 Richard Brandt Has Courtney Cox ever looked hotter? I don't think so! 3 stars
6/04/11 Andrew L I was throughly entertained! gotta love courtneys assets 5 stars
2/27/10 Jeff Wilder Better than its reputation. 4 stars
8/30/08 Shaun Wallner This is the kind of movie you fall asleep too. 1 stars
7/20/08 travis this movie is so underrated, its not great, but its solid entertainment 4 stars
6/20/07 --- Not even worth renting. Turned it off after about 35 minutes....a total mess 1 stars
4/12/06 Seanboy Big, dumb but one of the most surreal things i've witnessed, EricD hit the nail on the head 4 stars
8/30/05 ES good action, good cast, no need to rip on a movie played for fun 4 stars
6/21/05 Indrid Cold It doesn't suffer from bad acting, but just about everything else. 2 stars
6/09/05 Agent Sands Though it can be good, light fun, it's also extremely corny and dumb at times too. 3 stars
2/11/05 Jeff Anderson AN ACTING MILESTONE FOR KEVIN COSTNER, I'M NOT KIDDING! He's one mean & despicable SOB!!!!! 5 stars
2/05/05 tatum Completely formula, but done with style. Costner is fantastic 5 stars
2/02/05 G-Man excellent plot and awesome acting 5 stars
10/18/04 adam shaw (ivan campo) incredible, russell at his sizzling best!! 5 stars
9/13/04 Anarchist_101 This film is 'VERY' underrated... Hey, it's better than a Van Dame flick! 5 stars
6/26/04 Travado de Skol This is the one of the greatest films i have seen, the firt is gladiator and this came afte 5 stars
5/14/04 AngeFaitore Thomas Haden Church was hot, though. 2 stars
5/05/04 J.Peckerfoot Shame bout costner.its not a BAD film,its just not that great either.Watchable tho. 3 stars
1/16/04 Samuel a pretty decent film all in all 3 stars
1/04/04 moviebuff One plus: It's better than Horse Whisperer 1 stars
11/19/03 Jenny gicldod Courtney cox is Mean Petty Dumb 1 stars
6/26/03 cochese It was SUPPOSED to be cheesy. 4 stars
5/05/03 Jenny Tullwartz A Jailhouse Crock that Elvis would consider His Latest Shame if he had to see it. 2 stars
4/24/03 Andrew Carden Who Wrote This Film? A Donkey? Contrived and Mindless. 1 stars
3/23/03 GMan Will someone kill Costner please? Save me from this shit of a movie. 1 stars
3/11/03 Daniel T. Why do YOU write for this site? Looking for logic in the best US trash?Fuck Pulp Fiction! 5 stars
1/20/03 Jim Eh. Violent and shallow. Gets an extra star for tarting up Courteney Cox though. 3 stars
1/10/03 Ange Faitore The movie sucks but Thomas Haden Church looks hotter than ever and his acting is sharp! 2 stars
12/29/02 y2mckay Holy shit! Sommersby and I agree again! GUILTY PLEASURE - though more pleasure than guilt. 4 stars
12/29/02 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik Wait a second. Sommersby thinks this tripe is better than Memento? BAH! 1 stars
10/27/02 MarktheShark6 "Nobody ever says: 'the King is Down.'" This movie was great, wow... 5 stars
5/18/02 Candace Troy Powers Jenny, Don't Be Cruel, Hard Hearted Woman! Nothin' to get All Shook Up about! 3 stars
5/18/02 Jenny Tullwartz A Jailhouse Crock that Elvis would consider His Latest Shame if he had to see it. 2 stars
3/20/02 Aborted Gently This film was a guilty pleasure for me. It was so hokey and predictable, but fun to watch. 4 stars
11/01/01 jamie ward a must see this is the best movie of the year Kevin Costner 4 life 5 stars
9/29/01 Phoenix Has some elements of a good movie, but ends up being mediocre. 3 stars
8/14/01 SJKelley What movie were you watching? This was a very good film from beginning to end. 5 stars
8/09/01 Monday Morning I hate Kevin Costner's guts. He can't act and is probably a flaming asshole in real life. 1 stars
7/15/01 Rampage Goddam ugly movie... Russell's shoddiest of his career 1 stars
5/24/01 viking I won't waste my money on this crap 1 stars
5/23/01 Archibld Does this thing ever end???? 1 stars
4/26/01 Brian Elvis impersonators + machine guns + trashy women - socially redeeming value = GOOD TIMES! 4 stars
3/25/01 Sid 6.7 A guaranteed, insultingly lobotomized candidate for the 2001 recycling bin of clunkers 1 stars
3/20/01 val WHY ME GOD!?!?! WHY!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
3/09/01 Dave I should have gotten a fiber optic video scope and watched the inside of my butt for 2 hrs 1 stars
3/08/01 Joseph F. Thompson I thought it was a great film 5 stars
3/07/01 Mike If I were to die without going to confession I would gostraight to hell with the producers! 1 stars
3/02/01 greg morfoot awesome film 5 stars
3/02/01 Captain Highcrime Not enough Paul Anka if you ask me. 1 stars
3/02/01 Weasel Could've been good if they changed the actors, script, and director 1 stars
2/28/01 The Evil Penguin I Liked It. Pretty much. 4 stars
2/28/01 AK47 I SAID this movie would suck and TAJ yelled at me! 1 stars
2/27/01 Jeff Unique characters, love Lovitz, and Courteney Cox is worth watching alone 5 stars
2/27/01 The Bomb 69 ??????????????????????????????????????? 1 stars
2/25/01 *~Danielle*Ophelia~* (formerly KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi) 42 muscles to frown, 4 to extend your arm and smack all involved upside the head. 1 stars
2/24/01 Greyhound So it ain't Mission Impossible. Still fun, and Courteney Cox is HOT!! Needed more cast time 4 stars
2/24/01 Kairi Taylor A movie with Costner AND Russell in it....RUN MUTHAFUCKER RUN LIKE A BITCH IN HEAT!!!! 1 stars
2/24/01 Kiss My Grits WHY GOD WHY? 1 stars
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  23-Feb-2001 (R)



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