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Overall Rating
3.24

Awesome26.11%
Worth A Look: 22.17%
Average: 18.23%
Pretty Bad: 16.75%
Total Crap: 16.75%

7 reviews, 161 user ratings


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Austin Powers in Goldmember
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Chris Parry

"Let down in a big way."
2 stars

If you were to ask me which movie I honestly laughed hardest at over the last few years, you're going to hear a very loud "Austin Powers 2" coming from my gob. But one thing that stuck out in my mind after seeing it for the first time was that I seemed to be laughing at totally different times to everyone else throughout the film. "How about a Hot Pocket?" - I'm on the floor, in tears, but nobody else makes a sound. Then follow that with a fart joke and I'm stoic while the rest of the audience laughs their asses off. Sadly, for me I guess, Jay Roach must have been listening to the majority when he put together Austin Powers 3, because all of the jokes I let slide in the first two are back, and none of the style that had me in hysterics in the second one is to be seen. No more Jerry Springer sequences, no young Number 2, no more "don't worry mama, it won't get weird..." Just fart jokes, flat jokes and characters that never reached anything close to funny. For a true fan of the franchise, I'm feeling a little let down.

It seems to me that this episode in the franchise started with the producers coming up with a title, and then they tried to build characters around that, rather than the other way around. Goldmember will undoubtedly stand next to Jar Jar Binks in the 'ill-planned characters Hall of Fame,' as never once does he really get a great line, great trait or funny scene. When he picks skin off himself and eats it, nobody is laughing, we're just cringing. When his 'gold member' is shining bright behind a curtain, we're not giggling like schoolgirls, we're waiting for Dr Evil to come back.

Gone are the memorable scenes pitting Doc Evil against his son Scott. Gone is the slightly suspect Doc Evil/Mini-Me relationship. Gone is Number 2, when you really get down to it, as he has not much to do in this installment. And the latest Powers girl, Beyonce Knowles, basically consists of tight pants, an afro, and a gun that magically appears whenever anyone has any trouble.

Goldmember just feels poorly put together. The scenes don't flow, the jokes ride until they're no longer funny, the intelligent sarcasm and characters you can relate to are gone, and all we have left is the stuff the general population think is funny, whether it's being done by Mike Myers or Matthew Lillard.

Maybe if you've never heard a penis called a 'trouser snake', hearing Powers call it that (along with about sixty other colloquialisms) will have you in tears, but I've heard it before. In 1986, during Ferris Buller's Day Off, if we want to get exact. and I've been referring to my 'meat and two veg' for more yeas than I'd care to count, so those words don't make me choke on my popcorn and slap my sides.

Myers is better than this, and I dare assume it, I'm sure this wouldn't be his favorite installment in the series. But then, who knows what pressures are applied in the search for a $100m plus box office?

Will there be a fourth episode? Perhaps, but if there is, let's hope it's made with a view to quality and intelligent humor in mind, and not simply rushing something out before the next summer season comes around.

link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=5101&reviewer=1
originally posted: 09/01/02 08:54:21
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User Comments

6/01/10 User Name It's hard to laugh at the jokes when you're too busy trying to figure out the confused plot 2 stars
3/04/08 Pamela White Mike does it good as always 5 stars
3/02/08 SamanthaPayntr laugh out loud funny, with some really hilarious moments! Mooooole 5 stars
4/24/07 David Risser Interesting twist at the end, I would like to see Scott Evil be the main villain. 5 stars
4/13/07 David Pollastrini not great, not terrible 3 stars
2/16/07 Vip Ebriega Continues the comic laughs of the series. 4 stars
1/23/07 del Definitely the weakest of the three, hands down. 3 stars
12/01/06 Browncoat This movie smells bad.Something must have died in it... like Mike Myers' "acting" career. 1 stars
11/13/06 Trent You have to be in a good mood to watch this i almost pissed myself 5 stars
10/08/06 isis I hate intolerance, and the Dutch 4 stars
9/14/06 Booksworm This movie stunk so badly I maxed out 3 credit cards on Febreeze 1 stars
9/08/06 date movie sucks worst one 1 stars
8/19/06 Beau i loved the beginning i thort it was funni, i loved the laughing toothless guy 4 stars
4/27/06 poo The most disapointing movie in 2002 2 stars
4/01/06 Anthony Feor If fart jokes make you laugh, then this is your film 3 stars
11/04/05 Indrid Cold Unfunny rehash of 2, whereas 2 was a funny rehash of 1. 3 stars
7/14/05 Sully this movie sucked on it own goldmember 1 stars
6/26/05 ryan I love goldmember. movie was good. 3 stars
6/24/05 tony Can the movie be any dryer? well funny at times but ending very crap 3 stars
5/18/05 Pippin007 Laughed a lot. Its OK 4 stars
1/19/05 Keaton the Black Jackal Okay, I'm not into potty humor, but I haven't laughed so hard at a movie in a long time. 5 stars
10/26/04 ELI This one was ok, but the other two were a lot better 3 stars
10/25/04 Chelsea This is the love of my life. 5 stars
10/04/04 DM This series has been officially mined for all of its good jokes now. 2 stars
9/10/04 jeff people find this movie either halarious or stupid, i love gooooooold 5 stars
9/01/04 A upton I likee a lot,,,,i`m a simple man. 4 stars
7/13/04 kitfo1 unfairly maligned. Beyonce surprises as the best Austin foil, and the Dutch get theirs 4 stars
5/20/04 kektex failed to find a single funny moment in this film.its sad what the US passes off as comedy 1 stars
5/11/04 tatum The series is getting worse as it goes along 3 stars
5/02/04 J It's funny but not hilarious like the other 2! Needs Work! ** 1/2 3 stars
4/14/04 Cat & De The movie was funny & great because we new the words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
4/08/04 chloe it is the best 5 stars
2/29/04 Littlepurch Really original and by far the best of the 3. All the actors and joke were hilarious! 5 stars
1/27/04 Chloe Brody Fat Bastard did you just soil yourself?! Maybe... 5 stars
1/21/04 Bemused Often A commercial failure...overproduced and enough wretched humor to really piss me off. 1 stars
12/09/03 Peter Having loved the first two Austin Powers films, was disappointed greatly w/ this garbage!!! 2 stars
10/09/03 BEN SALLUSTIO awesome movie 5 stars
10/09/03 BEN SALLUSTIO awesome movie 5 stars
9/18/03 Samuel Justus Why didnt they make a 'Waynes World 3' ?? oh why... 3 stars
9/16/03 Ghetto Smurf You guys only say it sucks because it's a sequel. You're just going along with the crowd. 5 stars
8/31/03 Tyler This movie rocks 5 stars
8/02/03 Scott young YEAH BABY! YOU ROCK YOUR MY HERO AND FAVOURITE ACTOR! 5 stars
7/17/03 kyle i liked it alot and i think it is sick how goldmember eats his skin 5 stars
7/08/03 jodan it was great 5 stars
6/26/03 cochese Enough Already! 2 stars
4/28/03 leon %%0qwe ozzy osbourne was right we already have seen this one 2 many times 2 stars
4/23/03 scarer baihn it is sooooo awesome!!! I ted it on DVD and I counted 100 times that I watched it . 5 stars
4/11/03 Jack Bourbon Lots of crap, lots of pants-pissers. 4 stars
3/23/03 Winthrop J Applesmythe III it wasn't very good. it wasn't that bad. IF they make another one, i hope it's better. 3 stars
3/18/03 Mike If they're smart they'll stop with this one 3 stars
3/17/03 Peter This movie certainly lives up to the first two. Beyonce was the only person who didn't fit. 5 stars
3/17/03 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik One hilarious scene, a few sporadic mild laughs, and that's it. Blah!! 1 stars
3/09/03 Film Dude THIS FILM IS NOT FUNNY. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? 1 stars
3/02/03 Dean my winkie 5 stars
2/19/03 y2mckay Moments of hilarity, but this shit is SO played out. Love them Fook twins, tho! 2 stars
2/03/03 Movie Madness It so rules- Beyonce Knowles is faboulous . Anyone who hates this should be subitted to sp 5 stars
1/27/03 blah beyonce sucks. someone should shoot her. 3 stars
1/27/03 JUN Absolute bore! Don't waste your hard earned money! 1 stars
1/16/03 Jon Shmoke and a pancake anyone? 5 stars
1/12/03 Trying to leave looser heaven but you guys are NOT helping...good god whats wrong wit 1 stars
1/10/03 HoTtGuRl best fuken movie ever, i know the whole script by heart 5 stars
1/09/03 shiloh worse than the first 2, if that is, in fact, possible 1 stars
1/01/03 Sabine In my eyes it contained just as much creativity as its predecesors, bring on the 4th one 5 stars
12/31/02 John Aster Habig crude but a nice clean up from the second 4 stars
12/19/02 J. Long I thought is was just great mindless humor. Great movie to rent on a rainy day. 4 stars
12/19/02 max zhang I laughed once. Then I ass raped the wife because it was more fun. 3 stars
12/09/02 J. Chusing Laughed my bleeping ass off. 5 stars
12/09/02 Bluto My god, it was just painfull 1 stars
11/25/02 cinkcool good 5 stars
11/23/02 Kyle Utter SHIT. Recycled crap that wasn't all that funny to begin with. 1 stars
11/12/02 keenan its so funny i loved dr evil's rap!!! go and see it 5 stars
11/09/02 Stevo I laughed once. Fat Bastard & Goldmember are dreadful characters. At least there's Dr Evil. 1 stars
11/01/02 chrisbeckett gold member was good 5 stars
10/28/02 Robyn Jamil-Walid Best of series, although I wished Heather Graham was back 4 stars
10/23/02 uter The next Peter Sellers, my ass. Completely void of wit. 1 stars
10/22/02 Settle The first one was good, the second one had me hooked, but this one was just..... bad 1 stars
10/22/02 Jiz I'm with Steph. Total letdown, boring recycled shit. Did I mention Fat Bastard isn't funny? 1 stars
10/21/02 josh cool 5 stars
10/18/02 jason penny quite funny 4 stars
10/14/02 chris even more stupid than the first sequel bu still very funny at times 4 stars
10/10/02 Cat It wasn't even a movie just a bunch of skits put together... bad plot same old jokes 1 stars
10/09/02 Steph The recycled jokes from 1&2 werent funny & the ending sucked. The 2nd movie was the best. 1 stars
10/09/02 Britney Tailor The most awesome and funniest movie ever 5 stars
10/07/02 Sheridan The usual over-hyped crap that deserves to be burnt 1 stars
10/07/02 Nevz Enough already, this is getting boring! 1 stars
10/06/02 Incubassist Myers, stop it. Good, to bad, to "i want to die". STOP IT!!!!!!!! 1 stars
10/05/02 Zargo sometimes good, sometimes bad 3 stars
9/30/02 CrowEater Not anywhere near as funny or clever as the other Austin Powers movies, please kill it now. 3 stars
9/29/02 Peter Sherlock Mind numbing poo jokes for morons 1 stars
9/27/02 Metalboy How about Don't Myers.. 3 stars
9/27/02 Digi LOL 5 stars
9/26/02 JUN Just like a cold pizza of yesterday 1 stars
9/26/02 Dom Corleone Damn You Myers! 1 stars
9/23/02 Notsobookworm Was silly and brainless, but good fun 4 stars
9/23/02 syrius I TRIED to laugh, but just couldn't do it 2 stars
9/23/02 Eloise Make it stop.....please make it stop! 1 stars
9/22/02 Anarchy Azmi ugig 4 stars
9/21/02 spacecowboy "how about NO...." 3 stars
9/19/02 dlsag` fwep[f 5 stars
9/12/02 laron chapman FUNNY AS HELL THE BEST OF THE 3 5 stars
9/11/02 SadFan Sucked the big floppy donkey shlong 1 stars
9/10/02 David A. The peeing scene was great! Yeah, baby! 4 stars
9/09/02 Movie guy A GOOD FILM 4 stars
9/05/02 Dominik Duprelle Its MONEY FOR OLD ROPE isn't it? But then there are funny bits, howabout something new? 3 stars
9/03/02 PeterGibbons The worst kind of crap. There wasn't even a story. Meyers, the corporate schill. 1 stars
9/02/02 AshFan This is my favorite one! Mike Myers is 4 people!!! See it again and again!! 5 stars
8/25/02 Shane Meritt Yeah Baby! 5 stars
8/24/02 Natasha the best part was when Britney Spears' head exploded, most of the audience was cheering!!! 3 stars
8/19/02 Butterbean Meyers is a genius for making a shitload of money from just rehashing his old scripts. 2 stars
8/18/02 The Bomb 69 funniest of the bunch, even the repeated jokes were good!!! 5 stars
8/15/02 tim A movie to entertain you after seeing the disapointing attack of the craps! 4 stars
8/13/02 Cannibus Loved that hilarious beginning! (Go Spielberg!) Sporadic laughs throughout. Hated GM char. 3 stars
8/12/02 masin wolliams so bad that i went straight home and threw the first two austin powers dvds in the garbage 1 stars
8/07/02 Punk_Ass Fook Mi? no Fook Yu!! Funny fucking movie. 5 stars
8/06/02 sarahfar88 never laughed so hard in my life, loved the prison rap with the song from Annie, very funny 5 stars
8/06/02 Big B Jam-packed & clever, like they actually worked hard on this one. Some jokes pushed too far. 5 stars
8/05/02 Lexy Z. Funny. 4 stars
8/05/02 Edler Not too good. Needs a strong producer to shut down the inside jokes, etc. 2 stars
8/04/02 jarrod_101 sort of a rehash of the first two..had just enough charm and laughs to make it worth while. 4 stars
8/02/02 David When you laugh, you laugh hard, spend the rest trying to stay awake.... 3 stars
8/02/02 bullit17 Definitely the dumbest of the three AP movies. But quite possibly the funniest. 4 stars
8/02/02 gw bush if u liked the first two, you'll love this one. 5 stars
8/02/02 M mmmm.. more drivel 2 stars
8/02/02 Ashley M.M is hysterical! 5 stars
8/02/02 Crunchyfrog Disappointing baby, YEAH!! 2 stars
8/01/02 Gibbo Purile and revolting (except the opening scenes) 1 stars
8/01/02 loaded1200 ended INCREDIBLY weakly! Seems to be a theme in AP movies... 4 stars
7/31/02 Roy Smith It's a Mini-Comedy with 1/8 the humor of the others 3 stars
7/31/02 Matt Take it for what it is, and you will love it. 4 stars
7/31/02 Art Richardson Fucking Ausome 5 stars
7/31/02 davebo approximately 1/18th as funny as the first, a few laughs 2 stars
7/31/02 Christopher Decent 3 stars
7/30/02 Paul This is a great, fun movie, but don't be expecting Shakespeare. 5 stars
7/30/02 Lauren Not a good as the second but still better than half the other crap out there! 4 stars
7/30/02 Blubberbot This movie is for the dumb. I loved the first 2. 1 stars
7/30/02 Pit It's a very good comedy film 4 stars
7/30/02 Butterbean Mike was just going through the motions 2 stars
7/29/02 Nick2k not original, but it was still funny. i have no faith in AP4 though. time to retire austin. 4 stars
7/29/02 patrick I think the movie was great I especially liked foxy cleopatra and fat bastard 5 stars
7/29/02 Obi Wan I was very disappointed, Not even close to 2nd one and about same as 1st one. 2 stars
7/29/02 Girl 9 If you don't laugh out loud in this one you have no sense of humor. 5 stars
7/29/02 CooterJoe It's not the worst best I've seen, but after a few beers it made me chuckle a bit. 3 stars
7/29/02 The Truth The first two were inventive but this one doesn't have a single original or funny joke. 1 stars
7/29/02 Burp This film leaves cinematic skid marks. Total crap... 1 stars
7/29/02 Film Guy Funny as hell. The second best in the series, 4 stars
7/29/02 Ramblin' Wreck This series keeps getting funnier and funnier.....Bring on AP4! 5 stars
7/28/02 erick better then second, worst then first, worth a watch 4 stars
7/28/02 K brittneys head explodes..other than that.. it sucked 2 stars
7/28/02 Law Mike Myers is a comic GOD!! 5 stars
7/28/02 Kyle Better then one might expect. First hour is absolute crap, though. 4 stars
7/28/02 BrodieMan More erratic than the first two, but just as funny. And that's what counts. 5 stars
7/27/02 Anders Much funnier than AP2, but this should be the end of the line. 5 stars
7/27/02 Benjamin Leatherman A bit too frenetic, but still funny and better than the last one. Kill the series now. 4 stars
7/27/02 bob first 5 min are funny, rest okay, don't pay full price, better than MIB2 4 stars
7/27/02 I love gooooold Better than the other two, everyone in the audience loved it 5 stars
7/27/02 dixie nourmous good ol' potty humor 4 stars
7/26/02 AgentDS Damn! I've never seen these many cameos! 4 stars
7/26/02 Y2JChicago Very Very Funny. Tons of jokes, most work 4 stars
7/25/02 Superdave Fricken Hilarious, Baby 5 stars
7/24/02 Sideshow VERY funny at times - fans will NOT be disappointed 5 stars
7/23/02 The Talking Elbow NA NA NA NA NA NA... RECYLED JOKES!!! NA NA NA NA NA NA... RECYLED JOKES! 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  26-Jul-2002 (PG-13)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  19-Sep-2002


Directed by
  Jay Roach

Written by
  Mike Myers
  Michael McCullers

Cast
  Mike Myers
  Michael York
  Seth Green
  Beyonce Knowles
  Michael Caine
  Verne Troyer



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