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1 review, 1 rating

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Evil Clutch
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by Son of Funkenstein

"Criminally awful trash."
1 stars

When the be best thing you can say about a movie is that its was better than being suffocated in elephant crap, you know you are in trouble. This right here is the the most atrocious, junk, shite that I have yet witnessed.

Now I am quite a fan of the bad horror movie, I like the low quality jerky effects genre. I enjoy the so wooden-it-calls-out-for-a-lumberjack acting, I laugh uproariously at so-called plot and dialogue...

However, this,um, this... this abomination, can't even offer that.

Terrifyingly, a local village is terrorised by a supposedly seductive devil-ess who surprises her lusty male victims with a hidden evil claw that emerges from her, ahem, lady bits, to crush their aroused vitals.

There then follows a baffling 80ish minutes of clumsy editing and frankly nothing going on on-screen. As far as I could tell a full twenty minutes were spent watching a car drive around a darkened forest in real-time.

God help us!

Crappy, crappy, crappy! At least you can be sure they didn't pile 100m into making this excrement; 50p and a pat on the bum seems to be entire budgetary expenditure...

The "acting" is horrific; the plot, indecipherable; dialogue... oh my god the dialogue...

Is it possible to award less than one star?

This is what happens when a small to non-existent budget is inexpertly applied. Unalloyed crap.

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originally posted: 07/17/03 21:01:11
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User Comments

12/30/02 Fonq35 The worst film I've ever seen... and I've seen B&R... 1 stars
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  02-Aug-1988 (R)



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