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Overall Rating

Awesome: 16.67%
Worth A Look: 4.17%
Average: 18.75%
Pretty Bad: 25%
Total Crap35.42%

2 reviews, 36 user ratings

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New Guy, The
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by Chris Parry

"It's Revenge of the Nerds, only not as good. Not nearly as good."
2 stars

When you hear the word 'nerd' in relation to movies, what do you think of? If you've ever seen a nerd movie, you undoubtedly think of the geek becoming the hero of the school by using their brains, a little deception, and their unquenchable desire to get a litle ass. Welcome to the New Guy, same as the old guy, and every guy before him.

There's basically two parts to this movie - DJ Qualls getting his ass kicked and duly returning ass kickings, and Eliza Dushku trying on swimsuits. Be warned, the movie is a four star affair for the five minutes dushku is showing her navel, but drifts perilously down the ratings board before and after.

DJ Qualls is Dizzy, a rather unnerving looking geek. Through a freak encounter with a prisoner in the big house (Eddie Griffin, who is admittedly funny), Dizzy learns how to be a bad ass, goes to a new school and sheds his geek skin to become a paler, skinnier, less easy to look at James Dean. Comedy ensues, or at least it's supposed to. In reality, there's very little comedy present that would get more than a snicker out of anyone above the age of fourteen. The few genuine laughs that are on offer make you feel so guilty for taking part that you generally won't.

So back to the story, though you can probably fill in the blanks yourself if you ever saw Revenge of the Nerds or anything of it's ilk, Dizzy becomes king of the new school, gets the mondo gorgeous girl to throw herself at him, and within minutes manages to make the new school become some sort of suburban utopia where everyone, geek, jock and midget, gets on famously. In reality, this scene is about as likely as the next great gay filmmaker coming from Afghanistan, but let's not get too tied up with expectations on a film starring someone called "DJ Qualls."

BUT DON'T ASSUME THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A BUTT-KICKING! Despite the film's limitations in both planning and execution, there are some flashes of genuine humor here. Perhaps it's merely because I've seen Blue Crush, Master of Disguise, Serving Sara, and Pluto Nash in the last few days, but The New Guy really doesn't stink anywhere near as much as it could have. It's generally a painless experience that, while far from being great and enduring some bizarrely simplistic scripting and scenarios, for the most part is harmless crap. Credit where it's due, at least (unlike Blue Crush) it didn't pretend to be anything but.

Like the lamest of sports movies, The New Guy manages to engage in every cliche, throw scenes at you that you see coming a mile away, and yet at the end you walk away with a smirk. It's far from cinema at its finest, and it never really bothers to aim higher than the groin, but did I mention Eliza Dushku tries on a variety of swimsuits?

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originally posted: 09/04/02 08:47:23
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User Comments

3/11/10 art THIS MOVIE IS NUT"S! 1 stars
9/24/07 Bitch Slapper This movie rocked.It was a laugh the whole movie 5 stars
8/19/06 Quique I'd love to fuck Eliza Dushku. I masturbate every night thinking about it. 5 stars
1/26/06 aimless Horrible except for 5 minutes of Eliza Dushku trying on swimsuits. 1 stars
7/09/05 Moctezuma I found it to be an uproarious flick 5 stars
1/17/04 J Funny at first then crap after seen it second time * 1/2 1 stars
11/28/03 Samuel pretty stupid!! but sort of funny at times... 3 stars
10/29/03 JesseL This move is hilarious. DJ Qualls was great. 5 stars
7/26/03 3man Not as good as I thought. Interesting cameos and damn, Eliza is hot! 3 stars
5/14/03 Mr. Hat (I'm Back Mo'Fos!!!) Great premise, but bad acting & bad directing. Some good songs, though. 2 stars
12/30/02 John Aster Habig old jokes old plot fresh delivery I'm such a sucker for comic underdogs 5 stars
12/06/02 brian i wantto fuck eliza dushku in the butt or anywhere she lets me 5 stars
10/04/02 Zaw It was pretty funny. 4 stars
9/27/02 Simeon Briggs It was funny. And Eliza Dushku was strangely rubbish but amazingly hot, not too bad 3 stars
9/12/02 Norma Lehigh Pust dain jlumb! Keliza Douche Who? Pot's whee atheal?!? 2 stars
9/12/02 laron chapman so funny,it will crack you up 5 stars
9/10/02 John McNew Excrutiatingly lame and desperately unfunny 1 stars
9/09/02 othree a better than average new kid in town movie, funny enough w/o being cheezy 4 stars
9/05/02 Higher Buzz Lots of funny bits, and its overt weaknesses contribute to an overall charm. Good stuff 5 stars
9/02/02 Caiphn Not really funny at all. 2 stars
9/01/02 AshFan There are only 10 movies I don't like. Welcome to the list, New Guy!!! 1 stars
8/27/02 snowconehead decent, considering the target audience 3 stars
8/18/02 Joey Very, VERY far from funny 2 stars
8/13/02 blakers a okay film 3 stars
7/19/02 artemishia i dont know how, but it just wasnt funny 2 stars
7/05/02 Norma Lehigh Mive be a grake! Woo tilly sor furds! Keliza Douche Whoo? Pot's whee atheal?!? 3 stars
6/04/02 Mr Math way lame 2 stars
5/20/02 o-TAY speechless 1 stars
5/18/02 Jake It isn't 2001 anymore. Stop producing trash like this! 1 stars
5/17/02 K Take it for what it is... just laugh 3 stars
5/11/02 Veronica Foxx (The Raven-Haired Temptress) Not one drop of reality. Who the hell would believe that stick figure is now cool. Whatever 1 stars
5/10/02 Butterbean The story gets disjointed here n there, but it's not a bad movie. DJ Qualls is adorable. 3 stars
5/10/02 Jimmy James i saw it for free and expected nothing. i liked all the music cameos. 3 stars
5/10/02 Rampage What a piece of s**t and a waste of money. 1 stars
4/21/02 lll Yawn! Another boring teen comedy. 1 stars
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  10-May-2002 (PG-13)
  DVD: 06-Jan-2004


  08-Aug-2002 (M)

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