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Overall Rating

Awesome: 3.77%
Worth A Look: 3.77%
Average: 11.32%
Pretty Bad: 9.43%
Total Crap71.7%

3 reviews, 35 user ratings

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Snow Dogs
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by EricDSnider

"Knock it off, America. Quit seeing movies like this."
1 stars

For some reason, Disney keeps making really, really crappy live-action films. Someone must be encouraging them. Oh, that's right: It's YOU. You morons, you Americans, who keep paying money to see things like "102 Dalmatians" and "Inspector Gadget." "Snow Dogs" is YOUR fault, and I want you all to get together and somehow figure out a way to give me back the two hours I spent watching it. Because I HAVE to see the movies; I'm a movie critic. I don't pay to get in, so I'm not supporting them financially. What's YOUR excuse?

What's that? "It's cute," you say? As if "cute" is reason enough to plunk down $7? I've been told by some that I'm "cute." If I walked up to you on the street, would you give me $7 to be "cute" for a while? Because I've got the time, and I could use the money.

"Snow Dogs" is about an actor named Cuba Gooding Jr., and how he won an Oscar for "Jerry Maguire," and then decided his next career move should be to only appear in stupid films like "Chill Factor" and "Men of Honor," and that maybe he should occupy the five most irrelevant minutes of screen time in "Pearl Harbor," and that to top it off he should play Black Guy Who's Out of Place in Alaska in "Snow Dogs."

He plays a Miami dentist named Ted who learns that he's adopted, and that his birth mother is now dead, and she left him a team of dogs and a cabin in the frozen wasteland of Alaska. So he goes there, and then he slips on the ice a lot. And I do mean A LOT. Disney has been making slapstick B-grade live-action comedies for decades ("That Darn Cat," anyone? "The Shaggy D.A.," perhaps?), but seldom has the physical humor been this annoying. I can accept that a man who has spent his entire life in Florida would be ill at ease in the snow; what I can't accept is that he would slip into this many predicaments, and remained as good-naturedly bug-eyed as he does.

Michael Bolton makes an amusing cameo. James Coburn is irascible as Ted's natural father. The dogs ARE cute. But good heavens, isn't there something better to take the tiny tots to?

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originally posted: 07/06/03 20:00:08
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User Comments

11/05/15 David Hollingsworth The dogs are cute. 1 stars
1/13/14 dr.lao It really is as bad as they say it is 1 stars
3/30/09 Sugarfoot As awful as what you'd expect from a White Fang rip off with post-oscar Cuba hamming it up 1 stars
2/18/08 Pamela White doggie doodoo 2 stars
4/19/07 Stevo UK Just because its a kids movie dosent mean it has to be crap. Snow dogs dosent realise this. 1 stars
10/14/05 ram1brn IT IS A KID MOVIE DUH GREAT AS A KID MOVIE 5 stars
8/23/05 ES I bought it for my girl, she's loves Huskies & Malamutes, movie was ok 3 stars
8/17/05 Zoey This is the best movie ever i love to wath it!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
6/15/05 Quigley cuba gooding jr. = cuba "good for nothing" jr. 1 stars
11/06/04 Me I shit myself after watching it. 1 stars
10/04/04 DM Why are two talented actors appearing in shit like this? 1 stars
7/23/04 JASON FISKE My twins love this movie. Bring on the dogs. 3 stars
7/06/04 tyger,tyger show me the money! they must have theres no other excuse for making this 1 stars
7/06/04 Talonsoft Dogs gorgeous, Cuba pathetic, he must be a masochist trying to destroy his career 1 stars
6/14/04 Spiderfan50 I remember when I saw this, I thought it was made for the folks on death row! 1 stars
4/07/04 Spiderfan729 One of the worst movies ever made! And to think i could have seen Goldeneye!!! 1 stars
1/21/04 Betty White What else are we supposed to expect from him? 1 stars
8/15/03 Double G The only funny part is when Cuba(small) throws up after seeing the lady's mouth!!! 2 stars
4/21/03 defranco71 Why did I have to watch this pile of dog shit?! 1 stars
4/17/03 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik As much fun as getting shot up the rectum and nuts. 1 stars
1/14/03 alien assassin come back Beethoven - all is forgiven !!!!! 2 stars
9/18/02 Chancey Sugarpants What a lame incompetent piece of shit! 1 stars
6/18/02 Roy Smith Live action + Disney + Stars = Crap. Ok, just SEEMS like a law of the universe. 2 stars
5/25/02 Cash your check, Cuba, for selling your soul. 1 stars
4/03/02 Priscilla Postlethwaite CG Jr. & JC try hard, but mystery or not, movie version of Alaska still a yucky place. 3 stars
3/05/02 Kim great for the kids, funny and clean. don't go in expecting oscar material. 4 stars
3/04/02 Mike Smith friends at work thought this was a funny movie. they were WRONG!! 1 stars
2/16/02 Joe Kinda funny, if you can handle the slapstick 3 stars
2/15/02 The Boy In The Designer Bubble Cuba G. I'l never fogive him for that awful oscar speach! 1 stars
2/03/02 orpy cuba gooding can't do comedy...I hate dogs. 2 stars
1/30/02 John Linton Roberson No, no, please God no. No more Cuba Gooding. I beg of you. 1 stars
1/29/02 Nyartholep Eh. Was fun. Don't take it too seriously, it's not a serious movie. 3 stars
1/28/02 jack ................... why dosent disney give up and quit making horrid live action movies? 1 stars
1/23/02 LeaLea fun for the family -little corny but kids 5-10 will love it 4 stars
1/20/02 Flick Chick definitely for kids - not too painful to sit through, some funny moments. 3 stars
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  18-Jan-2002 (PG)
  DVD: 03-Nov-2009



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