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Overall Rating

Awesome: 7.14%
Worth A Look: 7.14%
Average: 7.14%
Pretty Bad: 16.67%
Total Crap61.9%

2 reviews, 30 user ratings

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Barb Wire
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by Chris Parry

"Forget straight to video. This should have been straight to hell."
1 stars

Now this is where Hollywood shows it's true colors. Some poor sap would have worked for ages on this screenplay about a woman in a futuristic setting who kicks all ass blah blah blah.

A producer says "Wow! I want the rights to this screenplay!" So the writer thinks he's set.

Then word filters in that the project has green-light. the writer runs out and buys a new home for his family.

Then word comes in that Barb Wire is going to be a low budget Pamela Anderson vehicle. The writer, having just spent two hours downloading Pam's latest video - "Little Pammy Sups The Cock" - walks into traffic never to be seen in 3-D again.

I mean what is it with Pammy? Straight to the internet videos are kinda down the ladder, aren't they?
Even Corey Feldman goes straight to video.

Anyhows, I'm getting off the point. This could have been an interesting movie. Of course, it would have needed an actress in the lead role to make it interesting. Even an actress' patoot would have been interesting.

Instead, what we have is Pamela's silicone pals in tight fitting black leather and stilettos, pretending to kick holy syrup out of bad guys in the search for I don't even remember what because it wasn't important. I was just waiting for the inevitable breast-spill.

There was a Jabba the Hutt type dude at the end that looked pretty funny. But only because it was supposed to look cool. And didn't.

I've only ever had less fun watching breasts on a big screen once. That was in Anna Nicole Smith's hilarious attempt at being an action heroine - Skyscraper.

Barb Wire stretches the limits of pathetic.

And Pammy looks a lot more convincing as an actress when she has Tommy Lee's cransky in her mouth. The rating should be changed to "sucks all dick".

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originally posted: 09/05/98 19:23:56
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User Comments

1/07/12 The Big D Great if you like guns, comic-book action, and a beautiful lady--Pam's great--love her!!!!! 4 stars
8/02/09 mr.mike Helies too much on the eye-candy factor and isn't enough fun until the (decent) ending. 2 stars
10/07/08 Shaun Wallner I really enjoyed this film. 5 stars
8/18/06 ajay it is sexy movie 5 stars
7/06/04 Talonsoft Yes it is future world casablanca, and badly scripted but pamela looks soooo good 4 stars
3/30/04 blue It really IS bad 1 stars
2/10/04 Whatevr Every copy of this movie must be put on a rocket and sent into the sun 1 stars
10/22/03 Monster W. Kung It never gets to the point. 2 stars
8/09/03 yo sucks ass 1 stars
6/14/03 Jack Sommersby Colorful and moderately entertaining, but lack of skin and sex sucks! 3 stars
10/31/02 Your God Great 5 stars
9/05/02 Chancey Thunderpants This movie is so trashy and pathetic. Pammy's a no-talent cunt. 1 stars
6/29/01 master.node Not *nearly* enough titties to make up for the bad everything else. ... But some. 2 stars
6/09/01 *~Danielle*Ophelia~* (formerly KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi) I shouldn't even waste my time rating this, but the people need to know... 1 stars
6/05/01 Jamie The worst mvoie I've seen. 2 stars
4/03/01 Andrew Carden Something different. I never said something good, but something different. 2 stars
2/07/01 lisa face it u only watch her cos she's got huge knockers. 1 stars
6/27/00 Ulatekk Bad Casablanca remake. Not enough Pamela sodomy... 1 stars
4/19/99 jimmy jam Give Pam a break. Better than that falt hoser Paltrow -Oscar my ass. 4 stars
3/18/99 Madcap Go back to real porn you pathetic walking heap of trash 1 stars
1/24/99 MR HOLLYWOOD!! action scenes are actually good,pam is completely fuckable,what more can you ask for? 3 stars
12/14/98 Scion of Graveheart Take away Pam's hoo-hahs and she has no talent at all. Go back to Baywatch! 1 stars
12/09/98 Shadow Raider Pamela Lee has a nice rack, movie sucked ass. Baywatch in tight leather. Duh! 1 stars
11/06/98 Lord Of The Dunce Should have been really trashy, but it tried too hard. 1 stars
9/24/98 Johny It should have been better...or at least worse 2 stars
9/06/98 Kid Pee-Pee When Pammy's not having sex we wish she was, so she should just do porn from now on. Please 1 stars
8/28/98 Dov one of the worst films ever made 1 stars
8/28/98 Mister Whoopee She does it for me. This movie wasn't as bad as it should have been. Nice rack. 3 stars
8/25/98 Miss Stress i'm sorry, pam lee doesn't do it for me 1 stars
8/24/98 {{{OZ}}} Baywatch in leather. 2 stars
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  03-May-1996 (R)


  02-Jul-1996 (R)

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