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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 34.92%
Average: 3.17%
Pretty Bad: 11.11%
Total Crap: 7.94%

3 reviews, 45 user ratings

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Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, The
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by Greg Muskewitz

"Saturday morning TV."
2 stars

A misleading title, if only in the sense that it is not connected with the current events [insert headline here] today.

Instead, altar boy or not, this Seventies coming-of-age tale is more interested in the delinquency and trouble-making of the every day stripling. This particular group, highly prized on fantasy and comic books, run the gamut of experiences (smoking, drinking, sex) in the conventional sense without offering any commentary on its characters or time period. Altar Boys remains as bleak as it begins. The only token of unconventionality is the interspliced segments of animation, featuring the group of teens’ alter-egos (sloppily and lazily drawn super-heroes), often pitted against an evil nun, inspired by one of their teachers, a peg-legged Jodi Foster. That serves as little consequence, inasmuch as the same unimaginative and unpolished cartoonery (by Todd McFarlane) can be found in most all Saturday Morning cartoons.

With Emile Hirsch, Kiernan Culkin, Jena Malone and Vincent D’Onofrio.

[See it if you must.]

link directly to this review at
originally posted: 12/20/03 15:25:37
[printer] printer-friendly format  
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2002 Seattle Film Festival. For more in the 2002 Seattle Film Festival series, click here.

User Comments

7/29/04 Joanne Holy Shit this movie is rad!'re a legend!! 5 stars
7/29/04 Carly awesome movie!!! Kieran and Emile are hotties! 5 stars
7/29/04 Josey Abendanon AWESOME,best movie EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
7/15/04 Jason Eyre Interesting; different from Blockbuster gibberish 4 stars
1/24/04 Elena Poignant and colourful, this film catches the angst and magic of being 14 and vivifies them 5 stars
12/03/03 fernanda peddrueza i loved this movie it´s realy cool and better with Emile Hirsch he is so hot 5 stars
10/30/03 Kelli This is an wonderful movie and an even better book. 4 stars
10/13/03 sophie linklater I absolutely loved the movie. The cast is phenomenal. The story is very original 5 stars
9/16/03 Franky I think this movie was an ignorant attempt for an original movie 2 stars
5/15/03 George Jung Doesn't hold up after multiple viewings, but still has its good parts 3 stars
4/12/03 Andrew Carden Good Screenplay, but Foster Is Miscast and Animated Isn't Needed. 3 stars
4/06/03 Jon A unique movie with a refreshing story 5 stars
3/22/03 Skankin' inThePit love this movie :) 5 stars
2/05/03 Anne Emile Hirsch is soooo hot in this movie. Thw whole movie kicks ass 5 stars
2/03/03 CM Thsi movie was SO great! I think that Kieran Culkin is AMAZING! 5 stars
1/23/03 kt it was one of the best movies i've ever seen! 5 stars
1/23/03 Greg FEcteau It was the shit i though 5 stars
1/09/03 MovieFan The end was a bit unbelievable, but the characters were rich! Excellent. 4 stars
12/30/02 jonathan sonet fucking good 5 stars
12/14/02 Kendall Kieran couldnt have been hotter or done better at being Tim. Emile was great too. Very deep 5 stars
11/29/02 Phil M. Aficionado Good but tried too hard; hence not believable and cliched in some aspects 4 stars
11/29/02 Christina Emile Hirsch and Kieran Culkin was really hot in that movie 5 stars
11/27/02 Dan Mins hollywood's laughable simulacrum (sp?) of "authentic youth" 1 stars
11/27/02 Leon Li "Don't you ever tell me whats real!"- melodramatic scene w/ dead dog 1 stars
11/24/02 Annie One hell of a movie, and Emile and Keiran are absoloutley amazing! 5 stars
11/15/02 Shannon Very well done, except that I wish that they would have put more focus on Tims home life 4 stars
11/13/02 Lon Rowe I'm 40 and was mesmerized. The animation helped reflect the power of Francis' emotions. 5 stars
11/11/02 sandy beautiful and touching-loved it 5 stars
11/10/02 LessThanColleen Amazing, good shit. Good ending but made me teary-eyed 5 stars
9/22/02 Morally Sound An awsome movie with a lot of emotional power. 5 stars
9/19/02 Jessica Brokamp great plot! great acting! overall great movie! 5 stars
9/18/02 Patrick Don't waste your time. 1 stars
8/20/02 J Staar like being 15 again. good reality and concept features; holds your attention; 4 stars
8/17/02 brainiac emile hirsch & the animation are amazing. really good. 5 stars
8/13/02 Brian J. Fantastic acting -- brilliant development of the relationship between the two boys. 5 stars
8/12/02 Gill Lawlee Despite what jim the movie freak says,I thought the animated scenes aplified the emotion. 5 stars
8/06/02 rose ! :) 5 stars
8/02/02 Kris Precocious, implausible, disjointed 1 stars
8/01/02 bigdeel watch it stoned 5 stars
7/07/02 Nick2k i liked it. but the animation sidetracking really served no purpose. 4 stars
7/02/02 Mr. Bad Example Very enjoyable until the weak ending. 4 stars
7/01/02 jm Don't let the title fool you, this movie is nothing like what you might expect. 4 stars
6/24/02 Mark Davidson This amazing, innovative and emotional film is among the year's best. Emile Hirsch shines 5 stars
6/19/02 Danielle Ophelia A thoughtful and cathartic work. Does NOT parallel the recent Catholic controversy. 4 stars
6/15/02 Bob Evans In lieu of the crisis in the Catholic church, i thought this movie is in bad taste. 1 stars
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  14-Jun-2002 (R)
  DVD: 05-Nov-2002



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