Overall Rating
 Awesome: 27.08%
Worth A Look: 17.19%
Average: 16.48%
Pretty Bad: 14.18%
Total Crap: 25.07%
23 reviews, 560 user ratings
|
|
Star Wars: Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones |
by dionwr
"Yes, it *IS* as bad as 'Phantom Menace'"

|
Everyone currently talking about how much better Part II is than Part I are going to experience a tremendous *POP* in a few months, as their heads come out of their asses and they realize how they've fooled themselves. It's rotten, I tell you, rotten!Cast your mind back to "Phantom Menace," and remember the wishy-washy way everyone was talking about the wonderful images and effects, and trying not to focus too much on Jar-Jar, Jake Lloyd, or that god-awful script. It took a few months before a consensus was suddenly achieved that hey--it really was bad. No one wanted to believe it.
Well, the same thing is happening again, with far less excuse.
Yes, it has some cool moments, particularly towards the end (and Christopher Lee, I'll grant you, is fucking awesome)--but this movie SUCKS.
Sucks sucks sucks sucks SUCKS! Sucks like a Hoover. Has high ambient levels of refined suckiosity.
Stop trying to convince yourself it's good--you've been taken for your ticket price, and you might as well admit to it.
Yes, there is less Jar-Jar, but we have the Padme/Anakin love story to take it's place. Yes, we don't have an unconvincing child as the hero, but instead we get a whiny, self-pitying adolescent. (I'm undecided as to whether Hayden Christiansen is a terrible actor; he was given a part that Olivier couldn't have played.)
By the time you get big, blowing-things-up, action scenes, towards the end, it is impossible to care about the characters. For the previous hour and a half the movie is boring and forgettable, except for the few scenes that are so dire they become unintentionally funny, and memorable for all the wrong reasons.
When Anakin, in an overheated moment, tells Padme that he loves her so much he's "in agony," someone in the audience with me muttered, "So am I."
As with "Phantom Menace," Lucas's strength (image generation and editing) is evident, and his weakness (scriptwriting) is more evident. There is not one memorably good line (although there are many memorably bad one).This is a film that cries out for two robots and an astronaut down in the right corner, making wisecracks as it spools out. It gets one star because they don't have a selection for zero.
link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=5827&reviewer=301 originally posted: 05/23/02 16:48:28
printer-friendly format
|
 |
USA 16-May-2002 (PG) DVD: 22-Mar-2005
UK N/A
Australia 16-May-2002
|
|