Overall Rating
 Awesome: 27.08%
Worth A Look: 17.19%
Average: 16.48%
Pretty Bad: 14.18%
Total Crap: 25.07%
23 reviews, 560 user ratings
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Star Wars: Episode 2 - Attack of the Clones |
by PyThomas
"Smells Like Sith Spirit."

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It should be noted that this year, for the first time ever, a first-run Star Wars film will NOT be the year's top moneymaker at the box office. Stan Lee should be ever so proud.I really wanted this, Part Deux, the latest installment in the Star Wars franchise, to be the best in the series, on par with Empire Strikes Back. It had all the right elements: a storyline that takes a dark turn, refined special effects, the requisite amount of saberplay, and major involvement of the Fett Family. But a really shitty acting job kept this from getting a perfect five-star rating.
The plot, in a nutshell: Ex-Queen Amidala (Natalie "I Can't Believe My 'Professional' Performance Is Still Hot Discussion In The HBS Forum" Portman), now a Senator for the Republic, has arrived on capital planet Coruscant to break a deadlock on a motion to create a Republic army, and narrowly escapes assassination by a couple of bounty hunters. The Jedi Council sends some familiar faces to protect her: Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan "They Made Me Look Like George Michael Circa 1989" McGregor) and now-teenage Anakin Skywalker (Hayden "The New Guy" Christiansen). Amidala selects Jar Jar Binks to pinch-hit for her in the Senate and retreats with Anakin to her home planet Naboo, where they eventually fall in love with each other. If you ever wondered how Mr. Lucas would stage your typical romantic montage in a galaxy far, far away, it's all here. Unfortunately, the bliss does not last for long: Anakin has visions of his mother in danger and he promptly takes Amidala to Tatooine to find out Mom's fate.
Meanwhile, Obi-Wan has tracked down the would-be assassins to find out who's behind the whole fiasco, and the leads point to a planet that... has suspiciously vanished from the official galactic maps. Traveling to where it should be, the planet is indeed there, and it is home base for a secret operation: cultivation of a clone army, the clone model being one Jango Fett (Temuera "No, I Am Not Related To Manuel Noriega" Morrison). Backing all of this up is estranged Jedi Count Dooku (Christopher "Hey, Catch Me In Lord Of The Rings As Well!" Lee), the latest pawn in Darth Sidious's bid to take over the galaxy. Obi-Wan falls into the clutches of Dooky - uh, DOOKU (is Lucas making all these you-gotta-be-joking-type names on purpose?), and Anakin, Amidala, and eventually all the other Jedi warriors, including Mace Windu (Samuel L. "They Say This Jedi's One Bad Mutha Shut Yo Mouth" Jackson) head on over to Obi's rescue. All the while, Chancellor Palpatine (Ian "You Think You Have It Bad, Ewan, I Look Like Graham Nash At Eighty" McDiarmid) tightens his grip on power, and suddenly Jimmy Smits has entered the picture.
One of the best things I liked about "Clones" was the sly references to plot points in "A New Hope": plans for a new "ultimate weapon" with a familiar spherical shape; Anakin meets a guy named Cliegg Lars, who has a teenage son named Owen, who in turn has a cute girlfriend named Beru; some wry foreshadowing in the form of one-liners like "Why do I have a strange feeling that someday you'll be the death of me?"; and some major screen time devoted to our two favorite droids, R2D2 and C3PO, as a subplot involving them takes some amusing twists. The usual lightsaber battles, space chases and bar brawls are there as well.
All this should add up to a stellar installment, one that leaves "Phantom Menace" in the Mos Eisley dust, right? Well, Hayden Christiansen didn't really make much of an effort to project the rage and passion that his Anakin character went through in this film. His fits of anger come out sloppy, his expressions of love for Amidala flat and uninspiring. And since his is a central character in this second chapter, the awkward acting taints what was otherwise an excellent film in the series.Let's hope the Force is really with Hayden next time, if he gets to keep the role in Episode III.
link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=5827&reviewer=9 originally posted: 12/12/02 14:59:52
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USA 16-May-2002 (PG) DVD: 22-Mar-2005
UK N/A
Australia 16-May-2002
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