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Overall Rating

Awesome: 4.3%
Worth A Look: 3.23%
Average: 20.43%
Pretty Bad: 5.38%
Total Crap66.67%

6 reviews, 57 user ratings

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by Chris Parry

"I've seen this crap film before, when it was called Blood Sucking Freaks."
1 stars

If a film this bad, this inept, this boring, this worthless, can get a wide release at the end of the summer season then I'm going to take my video camera into the bathroom and take a dump on it. Footage of a big fat turd hitting the toilet water should be able to win a freaking Oscar if this rubbish can get passed off as scary, or dramatic, or even a film. In a year that has given us some of the worst films of all time, this must surely rank as the worst - and that's a hard thing to do opposite Master of Disguise.

If I had my thesaurus with me I'd start rattling off as many words as I could find that mean 'incompetent' because there really is not a single element of this film that has the slightest bit of competence about it. I'm surprised the director managed to figure out which direction to have the camera pointed.

The film deals with a website that sends negative energy out to kill viewers with their greatest fear. It also features women being tortured, the reason for which I do not know because, frankly, I didn't want to remember this film in any way, shape or form.

Steven Dorff plays a cop who is on the case with a worker from the Department of Health (Natascha McElhone). They think the victims are dying from a disease, only when it's found they aren't the Department of Health woman doesn't go back to inspecting the kitchens of Chinese restaurants, she stays on the case. Perhaps she wanted to make sure the cop was taking a bath each night.

The cop, the usual kind of five o'clock shadow stereotype that looks like he's just got out of rehab seems to have no problem with this, though he has a large problem in figuring out how to use the 'whois' function at Internic, which would tell him who was running the torture site and save us all the trouble of sitting through this pretentious cheesy bollocks.

So what are the problems with this flick? Well, first of all it has dialogue so bad it makes you cringe. Dialogue like this, when the Health worker scares the cop by sneaking up behind him:

Cop: "Jesus!"
Woman: "Terry Houston actually. Department of Health."

Oh lordy, that's some humor there. If someone used a line that corny on me, I think I'd slip them an uppercut, male or female. But in this film, that's actually as good as it gets. Believability seems to never be of great interest to the writer or director, the actors are not even on cruise control, and the propensity for scenes so dark you can barely make them out isn't a cinematic touch, it's cinematic laziness.

Part of the film involves "The Doctor" telling young women they're just right to play the lead of his upcoming film and luring them into his torture room to be cut apart live on the internet. You have to wonder, with material this bad, if McElhone and Dorff fell for the same trick as this flick will undoubtedly shred any reputations they enjoyed in the movie world to this point.

Former Tales From the Crypt director William Malone helms this mess, having just got off 1999's House on Haunted Hill failure, and it's a reasonable assessment that he'll be heading right back to cheesy TV in the not too distant future.

Malone's main crime here is in believing that we'd all be scared by images of women being tortured. An unwitting remake of the 1976 near-snuff film, Blood Sucking Freaks (the only film to have ever actually made me throw up), Feardotcom features almost the same storyline - 'doctor' lures women to be tortured for entertainment value - only at least Freaks didn't hide the fact that it was for torture voyeurs only. This film gussies itself up as a horror film, but in reality it's just a horrible film, taking particular delight in making the audience feel disgusted - and not in a good way.

There will be an audience for this film out there, and that's a sad inditement on society. It's an even sadder inditement that Hollywood has so few quality control checks that a flick that gets its rocks off cutting open women on the camera while it tut-tuts that people could ever be into that kind of thing, actually makes it to wide release - and with bankable names in the cast, no less.

Far be it from me to be considered a prude - I was one of only 12 people out of over 100 who managed to sit through the entire running time of a screening of Salo: 120 Days of Sodom a few years ago - and I'm generally down with whatever anyone wants to put on film being available to whoever wants to sit through it, but this film should be taken off the shelves. It's consistently bad, boring, unwatchable, ill-conceived, and just plain ill.

I'm not just being dramatic here - I'd honestly rather stab myself in the arm than sit through it again.

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originally posted: 09/12/02 07:43:52
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User Comments

12/29/17 morris campbell trash 1 stars
11/26/11 Wa Wa Weitz Just awful. Crap, exploitative crap, derivative crap, boring crap, crap crap crap. 1 stars
9/11/07 kristina The movie was orgasmic :D 5 stars
6/09/06 Frank Rountree This movie was bad all the way around, everything! 1 stars
4/04/06 JRE horror films arent supposed to be predictable which is exactly what this was. dont watch it 1 stars
11/26/05 shell bell Not only was this was boringly predictable. 1 stars
11/23/05 Melissa just waiting for something to happen, hard to hear, boring 1 stars
10/27/05 deadwiz Not scary, just weird. Had some interesting ideas. 3 stars
10/26/05 Richard Brandt Seems ghosts could just come out with what's bothering them...Wait, this wasn't The Ring? 2 stars
10/23/05 baseball-nut I have to agree with the majority....this was CRAP! 1 stars
9/02/05 ES Nothing here your life won't be better off without 1 stars
1/05/05 Joe England From what I saw, "The Ring," with "du you want to plé?" constantly fed onto the soundtrack. 2 stars
1/02/05 Sarah Jack Sommersby is a fucking idiot. 1 stars
7/21/04 American Slasher Goddess A boring mess, Jeffrey Combs is once again wasted in another movie. 1 stars
7/11/04 NaturezRevenge 1. The ring meets wannabe hellraiser where girls can have haemophilia and play at old mills 1 stars
6/23/04 Freeman Not bad at all 4 stars
4/11/04 valerie hart this is one of the worst films i have ever seen crap story its so dark cant see the screen! 1 stars
3/09/04 Sean McLean Boring direction and a script that needed some more drafts mars an otherwise decent concept 2 stars
2/14/04 Jingo P. Everyone involved deserves slow decapitation with a saudering iron. 1 stars
1/09/04 tatum Stunning visuals lift dumb story 3 stars
12/14/03 darkofnight An excellent ride that offers a surprising amount of great jolts. Conclusion falls flat. 4 stars
11/24/03 Samuel Good premise, but unfortunately the rest sucks! 3 stars
10/17/03 Jeremy Ach The best movie I have ever seen. 5 stars
10/11/03 Peter What a load of shite, and thats being Nice!!, if the film was any darker You need a tourch! 1 stars
10/11/03 Dumb Like it was the boring movie of all time 1 stars
10/09/03 Stacey !Stupid! 1 stars
8/26/03 feardotgovdotny everyone involved with this four-assed-monkey turd has 48 hrs b4 I start shooting! 1 stars
6/16/03 Alice I have no words for this piece of shit 1 stars
4/30/03 WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME Anyone who likes this even a bit is a TURD. 1 stars
3/12/03 garamy swearingen it is shit 1 stars
1/24/03 nora parsons it is a very good movie 5 stars
1/17/03 othree serial killer, ghost & the net, supporting cast almost pulls it off, DARK! NO fEAR 3 stars
11/17/02 snowconehead Udo Kier is the man 5 stars
11/01/02 The Velcro Warlock Natasha McElhone, the angel of "Truman Show" is just as wasted here, even w/more screentime 2 stars
10/30/02 Oz got it just right, read his review Lillian, David A — you are RETARDS! Only a MORON could find anything to like in this TURD! 1 stars
10/23/02 Lillian Alston I agree with Eric, the movie had no meaning. I was exspecting something different. 3 stars
10/22/02 Jiz About as interesting as watching roadkill decompose. Yawn-o-matic, fuck you Malone 1 stars
10/08/02 This Movie Sucks The only frightening thing about this movie is the amount bad press it's getting. 1 stars
9/20/02 thejames why did stephen dorff have to be in this movie? hes good, movie sucks 2 stars
9/12/02 Mike G I laughed a lot. The dialogue is painful. 1 stars
9/12/02 Buddha Unconscionably bad. Terrible dialogue, for torture fans only. 1 stars
9/10/02 David A. Just like an episode of X Files. Lead characters are imitations of Mulder and Sculley. 4 stars
9/10/02 Warbandit What a load of bullsh!t. Avoid at all costs. 1 stars
9/09/02 jay shit shit garbage, waste of money, IM soo fuckin upset. crap, shit garbage, donation, damn 1 stars
9/08/02 Cliché Master The only thing scary here was the admission price. 1 stars
9/08/02 Erik Snider is right Not even bad in a funny kind of way. Just unbearable 1 stars
9/06/02 alien Which part of the movies name didn't warn you it would suck? Only suckers could go see it. 1 stars
9/06/02 Jennie sucked big time, stupidist movie ever seen 1 stars
9/06/02 Gregg I think this film should be titled Crapdotcom 1 stars
9/04/02 The Chronic Mastubator Such a boring turd of a movie. 1 stars
9/02/02 Sugarfoot Piss rotten! 1 stars
9/02/02 Danielle Ophelia Fear dot coma 1 stars
9/01/02 Danny See my review at 3 stars
8/31/02 Damien Raven Maybe the weirdest damn movie this year. Decent plot, bad acting and dialog, great looking 3 stars
8/20/02 Peter Brook Is this a joke? Fear dot com? 1 stars
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  30-Aug-2002 (R)



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