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Rock & Roll Frankenstein

Reviewed By Randy Muselman
Posted 01/05/04 07:06:54

"No Plot! No Direction! Bad Acting! This one has it all."
1 stars (Total Crap)

I went into this film thinking that I was going to see something similar to Re-Animator or another campy classic. What I ended up getting was total trash and that's being kind. I understand independent film makers don't have much cash, but that doesn't mean you have to throw something together that's absolutely worthless.

The film opens with uncle Bernie, an agent in the music business, losing another rock star. To solve this issue of losing his money makers, he turns to his nephew Frankie.

Frankie is the mad scientist type. He's just invented a re-animation formula that's stable. Uncle Bernie comes up with the idea that they will make a rock star out of a conglomeration of formerly dead rock stars.

Ok, I'm up for that, so far so good, but ahh, this is where the story turns to total and absolute shit. Things proceed rather well, until fucked up Iggy (liken him to Igor, just fucked up on drugs all the time) is sent out to grab the final body part for our creature. Jim Morrison's penis. Yes, friends, you heard me right. While performing the perfunctory penis snatch (heh I made a funny, hey, it's better than this film.) they screw up and drop Morrisons dick in acid, so they snatch liberace's dick instead.

Anyway, our creature comes to life, and yeah, he can sing, and play, but he really likes Liberace's music, and his dick likes boys. Yep, our creature is gay. The rest of the film involves our creature dealing with the fact that he can't get it up when it comes to sleeping with women. His favorite sexual partner, boys. Wait, hold on a sec, it's gerbils, he likes fucking gerbils.

Ok, enough of this shit.

WARNING: SPOILER AHEAD





Like I really give a shit about spoiling this film, you won't make it this far into it.

To solve his gay problem, he needs to have his penis removed, but he can't it's entwined around his spinal column inside his body. He kills Frankie (his creator) and finally uncle Bernie (the total asshole, he needed killing) and then can't take the fact that he's hiding inside a GERBIL factory. So, he rips off his cock with a hook, chain and wench.

I can understand why many in the entertainment business avoided this film. It seems that there is a lot of gay bashing going on. I don't think the director really meant it to come off that way, but, it simply did.

The storyline is shit. The writing is shit. The acting is shit. I'm a fan of independent film making, I think some of the best films come from the folks with no budget and just a dream. Unfortunately, with Rock And Roll Frankenstein, there is absolutely nothing original at all. The entire plot has been ripped off from other films like Re-Animator. Save your money, go out and buy a case of toilet paper and wipe the shit off of your television screen after you watch this.

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