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Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love, The

Reviewed By Chris Parry
Posted 10/24/02 07:47:05

"Something for everybody! Especially horny males who can fast forward."
3 stars (Average)

If ever there was a Lifetime movie with a pay-off for the boys, itís this one. Revolving around a lesbianic tryst between two high school girls Ė one black and rich, one white and poí Ė this is truly a flick a guy can sit with his girlfriend and watch on a rainy Sunday. Not because itís particularly good Ė in fact, itís pretty much straight to video fare. Not because itís action-packed Ė in fact, itís very slow. So why watch this thing at all? TEENAGE LESBIANS!

Oh, okay, Iíll try to keep my mind above the belt and ignore the girl-on-girl fun in this movie, even though it is essentially what the movie is all about. As a narrative on the forbidden and blossoming romance between two girls from opposite sides of the tracks, blah blah blah. Come on, donít expect me to gussy this thing up as a beautiful introspective work with arty overtones, itís teenage lesbians messing about at home when momís away for the weekend.

Randy (Laurel Hollomon) is a dyke. She comes from a family of dykes, she looks like a boy and she hangs a cigarette out of her mouth in that way boys once did in the 50ís, but donít anymore. If she had nuts, you could be sure sheíd scratch them as she walks. On the other side is prissy miss, Nicole Ari Parker. Raised in wealth, in a Martha Stewart-inspired home, when she starts to feel a little attraction to Randy she slowly goes with it. Keeping their newfound affair away from parents and friends, the two discover one another the same way any boy/girl combo would (at least in the realms of Hollywood fairyland), and thereís enough humor to keep things from getting too far into the world of after-school-special.

In fact, this thing takes its time getting to the point. The Incredibly True Story Of Two Girls In Love builds slower than a union construction worker on a rainy day. It doesnít go for shock tactics and it forces you to get into the characters by giving us only those characters to deal with for 90% of the film Ė with no storyline beyond the Ďdiscovery of each otherí.

Everyone else is a cartoon character. Rich Mom doesnít yell about morals when she finds her daughter in bed with another girl, she instead yells that they left the stereo on and messed up the kitchen. Poí lesbian mom walks around in overalls, with that same hanging cigarette, yelling like the worst stereotype of a macho man.

But it means well. And any movie that costs $250k (the actors were never paid for their time), involves teenage lesbians and manages to get a big screen release in the early 90ís deserves at least a little respect.

Did I mention the teenage lesbians go topless?

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