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Overall Rating

Awesome: 8.33%
Worth A Look: 25%
Average: 16.67%
Pretty Bad50%
Total Crap: 0%

1 review, 6 user ratings

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52 Pick-Up
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by Chris Parry

"Roy Scheider plays tough. Kelly Preston plays naked. Vanity just plays."
2 stars

A wealthy go-getter businessman shags a woman in a hotel room, only to be sent a videotape of he and his mistress in the act along with a demand for $100,000. He tells the blackmails to stick it where the sun don’t shine, only for them to kill his girlfriend and up the ante. Tough guy action ensues.

Leather-faced Roy Scheider stars as the husband of a city council hopeful who is caught with his pants down (literally), then blackmailed by a porno czar for more money than he has. He can’t go to the law, as it would hurt his wife’s political campaign and the crooks used his gun to commit the crime. He can’t pay the money, so the only option he’s left with is to find the crooks and beat them at their own game, and maybe exact a little vengeance on them for blowing holes in Kelly Preston’s shirt potatoes.

A John Frankenheimer-directed adaptation of an Elmore Leonard story, 52 Pick-Up is surprisingly dreary stuff. Scheider is in cruise control, Ann Margret, as his wife, never looks like she doesn’t have a hemorrhoid bothering her, and the big screen debut of former Prince tag-along Vanity is about as forgettable as any debut of the last twenty years, though she does perform a nice long striptease, which is a bonus.

On the bad guy side, John Glover and Clarence Williams III suck like a Time Square hooker in a space shuttle airlock. Glover is all hairstyle, no game, and Williams sweats far better than he acts.

Frankenheimer wasn’t displaying his best work here, as the action goes from slow to dead stop and then to slow again, without ever really putting forth a character we can get behind. Vanity’s stripper character is as one note as the worst of Jean–Claude Van Damme’s work and she only seems to be even in the film so we can see her undress, then watch Williams nearly kill her… in her panties.

One plus is the early appearance of Kelly Preston, as Scheider’s motel sex-toy, as she gets down’n’dirty with the old guy. You’ll never find the ‘since converted’ Scientologist doing a scene that involves nastay bootay like this one ever again, so even if you’re only watching the film for a chance at viewing Kelly’s nellies, that should make it worth a one dollar rental.

If it sounds like all I really care about with this film is the sex and nudity, that’s not an indicator of my depraved state of mind. There honestly is nothing else to look at. I mean Scheider’s being blackmailed by a porno king, fer cryin’ out loud! There’s naked folks all over the joint. What do you want from me, a Pulitzer Prize winning review about a boob flick? Leave me alone! Get outta hee-ah! What are you, some kinda mook?

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originally posted: 10/28/02 16:54:25
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User Comments

8/01/07 Collin Freeman Tense; great bad guys; ending needed work 4 stars
5/17/03 Mr. Hat (I'm Back Mo'Fos!) @ times exciting, Scheider is good, but it stays 2 long in the nasty world of the villains. 3 stars
4/19/03 Jack Sommersby Grity and tension-filled. Goes awry near the end, though. 4 stars
12/30/02 Billy Pork So bad, It's Good !!! 4 stars
11/20/02 R.W. Welch Generally uninspired direction; routine overall. 3 stars
10/29/02 Charles Tatum This flick kicks ass, Glover is chilling 5 stars
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  02-Nov-1986 (R)


  02-Nov-1986 (MA)

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