"If there's one thing I liked about this film... actually, there wasn't."
As crappy as crappy TV movies can be, The Silencer sets a new standard of crappy. Here’s how it goes: Some dude appears to be either a god or a video game player or a cop or something. He seems to be either playing a game involving our main character or he’s some kind of overseer or… look, if I told you I knew what the hell was going on in this film, I’d be totally lying to you. I’ve got no fucking idea.Lynette Walden plays Angelica, some sort of hitwoman who supposedly comes out of retirement to try to bust a child slave ring. But before she does that she picks a random street moron, bathes him, screws him, then buys him a leather jacket. Because that makes sense, right? Behind the scenes is Chris Mulkey, pulling some kind of ‘pull da strings’ crap and basically following Angelica around as she gets into and out of trouble.
It wants to be arty, but The Silencer is a study in dumb. This flick is so stupid it messes up the bell curve for the rest of the class. It’s so beyond help that you expect the veterinarians to erect a tent around it and put the thing out of its misery. If it was an animal, you’d break its neck – it’d be the humane thing to do.
Writer/Director Amy Goldstein clearly has all the filmmaking skill of a half-pound of Brie, and it seems others feel the same way since this was her last film for eight years. Maybe she went to film school in the meantime because her follow-up film in 2000, East of A, was well received. Alas, nothing can save this canker sore on the world of cinema.
Not even a cameo by Morton Downey Jr… or should I say, ESPECIALLY a cameo by Morton Downey Jr.
I mean, if your film is called The Silencer, why would you then feature a whole bunch of silencers throughout the film, all of which when used sound like cannon blasts? It’s called a silencer because it makes the gun silent, damn it!
This is strictly incompetent filmmaking from top to bottom. If it’s showing on a cable channel some time in the near future, do yourself a favor and consider it about the same level of entertainment as an Ab-Roller infomercial.Starring Curtis Armstrong. In tights.