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Overall Rating
1.94

Awesome: 12.28%
Worth A Look: 6.14%
Average: 8.77%
Pretty Bad: 8.77%
Total Crap64.04%

6 reviews, 78 user ratings


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Darkness Falls
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by Collin Souter

"Enough with the PG-13 kiddie-horror!"
1 stars

I have a confession to make: I liked “The Sixth Sense.” Yeah, I know, how could I? Well, I guess I got caught up in the atmosphere of it. I liked the little dead people-seeing tyke that was introduced to us and I also liked how the ending never went the way usual psychological thrillers go, with action-packed suspense endings where the killer isn’t really dead, that sort of thing. It maintained its eerie, dramatic tone and I found that to be refreshing. I liked all those things about it and, yes, you can call me a moron for not seeing the ending coming. I will admit to stupidity there, as I’m sure millions of others will, too. So, with all those qualities going for it, I have to say that I quite enjoyed “The Sixth Sense” very much. Award-worthy? Hardly, but still good entertainment.

But I can’t like it anymore. It has given rise to too many things I find annoying in the world of cinema, namely its director M. Night Shamylamnylan. I hated “Unbreakable” and “Signs,” but I won’t get into that because it will steer me farther from the matter at hand than I need to be. I’m talking about kids. I don’t like them and I never have. I especially don’t like them in my horror movies anymore, and because “The Sixth Sense” grossed an ungodly $300 million, horror movies have turned into pages removed from the dark, suicidal diary entries of The Little Rascals. And it’s all because of “The Sixth Sense.”

Lat year alone, we endured “The Ring,” “Ghost Ship” and “Wes Craven Presents A Movie I Had Nothing To Do With Called ‘They’,” all of which had vacant, pale faced young children who could use a little extra candy in their diet. And now, we have the latest entry in this PG-13-ized world of pseudo-horror, “Darkness Falls.” In all of these movies, the kids hold the key to everything because, I’m guessing, that will make it more eerie! And because all the adults are nameless, faceless, personality-less voice phantoms with caucasian host bodies, we sympathize with the kid(s) the most, even though we’d rather just plop them down in from of the TV for a few hours while us adults handle the actual horror.

“Darkness Falls” tells the story of a killer Tooth Fairy. Please, re-read that sentence. Now, read it again. Got that? Okay. Now, the movie has a decent set-up in which a man tells us the legend of a woman named Matilda who vows revenge for her wrongful murder by killing small children in the town of Darkness Falls (get it?) after they lose their last tooth. The movie also has a decent first scene in which one boy, Kyle, has an encounter with Matilda, The Tooth Fairy, an incident that scars him for life.

The rest of the movie, as you would expect, takes place 16 years later and Kyle (Chaney Kley) has not yet recovered from the horrific ordeal. He has taken to working as a security expert in Las Vegas and putting up “Feardotcom” posters all over his apartment, which I guess reminds him of the oh-so-spooky face of the Tooth Fairy. Out of the blue, his childhood girlfriend, Caitlin (Emma Caulfield), calls him for the purposes of dragging his sorry ass out of his humdrum existence to help out her younger brother, Michael, who has been having sleep disorders.

Kyle has a checkered past in Darkness Falls. Everyone thinks he murdered his mother. Actually, the Tooth Fairy did it. Kyle also fidgets and gets tense every time a shadow moves by or a light flickers on and off (He must have been fun to bring to U2’s Zoo TV concerts). Soon, Kyle meets little Michael and the two hit it off beautifully. Of course, Michael spends all his time at the hospital, where he admits to Kyle, “I see Tooth Fairies.” Oh, and one thing you should know about the Tooth Fairy: Bright light will kill it, so stay in the dark. But if it’s dark, how do you know where it is? Look, just shut up and be careful of it, okay?

The rest of the movie just gets messier and messier. The plot thinnins when the doctors want to put Michael under sedation in order for him to confront his fears of the dark. “This,” the Doctors explain, “will help Michael with his fears. Since he cannot tell what is real and what is not from his dreams, if he fears what is not there, then he will not be afraid of what is, therefore his fears…” YAAAAAWWWWWWWWNNN… What? Oh, yeah, that’s very interesting. But Kyle urges them not to conduct any tests on little Michael because of what all those tests did to Kyle when he was a tyke, and look at him now. He mopes around his apartment tinkering with flashlights, while not having any interests in poetry or pop culture.

I have two drinking games for you with the second half of “Darkness Falls”: Every time someone screams out, “Michael,” take a shot of Beam. Every time Kyle explains to us that the Tooth Fairy can only attack in the dark and that bright light will kill her, take a shot of Daniels. You should be good and wasted by the time the end credits roll. Allow me to clear up a matter so that you don’t have to question whether or not the alcohol messed up your vision: Yes, it took three people to write this movie.

“Darkness Falls” has nothing to shout about, although there were some younger teens in the audience who got more than their fair share of scares from it. The movie uses those tired tactics to provoke fright:

Silence.


Silence.


Footstep.


Silence.


DAAAAAAAA!!! DAAAAAAA!!! EVIL, EVIL, EVIL!!! BLAAAAAAH!!! FRIGHTENING, FRIGHTENING, EVIL, EVIL, EVIL!!!! DAAARRRR!!! OOGLY, OOGLY, OOGLY………

And so on and so forth. At one point, Caitlin sits in her car and has a moment of silence, at which point a black cat jumps in from out of nowhere. This is meant to scare us. Caitlin just laughs it off and says, “A black cat. Why not?” For this reason, I’m guessing director Jonathan Liebesman hired Emma Caulfield for her role because off the set, she became his muse. Even toward the end, a character says, “All this over a broken tooth.” In these fleeting moments, “Darkness Falls” seems to have a sense of humor about itself. If only, the rest of the movie had the same confidence. For the rest of “Darkness Falls,” we see nothing but “Dumb, Serious People,” and way, way too many kids. Now, go to your room.

link directly to this review at https://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=6576&reviewer=233
originally posted: 01/26/03 16:56:44
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User Comments

12/17/18 Ajp wales I liked it. But i didnt like the stay in the light said all the time. 4 stars
9/13/17 morris campbell lame 1 stars
9/02/13 EDDIED THIS MOVIE SUCKED. 1 stars
11/11/10 PAUL SHORTT ABYSMAL, UNINVENTIVE HORROR 1 stars
7/24/08 Shaun Wallner Totally Boring! 1 stars
12/02/07 Bnorm I thought this was supposed to be horror; my dog's thrown up scarier things than this 1 stars
2/16/07 Axel Leos stupid evil toothfairy movie, oh my god stay in the light stay in the light. 1 stars
12/05/06 Stanley Thai A good, short horror film. It gives you thrills and chills. 3 stars
10/06/06 Pritchett I can't believe there are people who actual admit to liking this pile of twat. 1 stars
6/04/06 William Goss Hoover and Oreck should sue. 1 stars
10/29/05 matt this movie kills more brain cells than jagermeister 1 stars
8/25/05 Copper Pure nonsense, the most ball-less "horror" film ever made. 1 stars
8/18/05 ES was this more like 'them' or 'cursed' or 'blair witch 2' or 'darkness' ? = it don't matter 1 stars
5/22/05 dfghfgh great movie, I don't know why everyone says that it sucks ass 5 stars
5/11/05 Sully not a single scene was scary. the director should switch to porn 1 stars
5/06/05 stuart To the director - are you out of your fucking mind???? 1 stars
2/09/05 axe "I don’t know what the fuck is cheesy anymore…" [actual director's quote] *HAHAHA* 1 stars
8/05/04 bondjamesbond some creepy elements to it but....the story line was crap and the scary wasnt scary........ 1 stars
7/19/04 Nikolai A Dan Quayle to the Dick Cheney of scariness 1 stars
5/08/04 Danielo Asdino Agree with Scott,a sucked movie. 1 stars
4/27/04 HorrorScribbler Always nice to see Emma, but you have to pick better scripts honey. 1 stars
4/18/04 valerie hart not very good movie and certanly not gory,scary,or even bloody crap story line 2 stars
4/17/04 LIAM JACKSON i think it would be funny if the people who slam this film were brutally murdered by TTF 5 stars
4/10/04 American Slasher Goddess Not anything extremely great,but it is entertaining. 3 stars
3/14/04 Paul Carone I laughed so hard I decorated a Christmas tree! 1 stars
3/03/04 Charles Tatum Not nearly as bad as everyone says 4 stars
2/23/04 Naturezrevenge zzzzzzzz BOO! ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz. Blah! Blah! Scary! BLAH!..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 1 stars
2/23/04 Dr.Lecter For a site that slams critics, darkofnight is the dumbest critic I've seen ever 1 stars
2/17/04 caiphn Darkofnight is a fucking troll. 2 stars
2/06/04 Hank What the hell's the matter with you? This movie was great 5 stars
2/02/04 Joe The Villaness Looks Like A Bastard Child Of Freddy Kruger Only Not As Scary 1 stars
12/28/03 Chris If you like horror films this one isn't so bad. I liked the art techinques. Fun. 4 stars
11/29/03 Samuel reminded me of 'They' which sucked too!! 1 stars
11/14/03 jimmy d fuck! 2 stars
11/04/03 American Slasher Goddess Not anything great, but entertaining. 3 stars
10/12/03 Gary Great horror movie 5 stars
9/22/03 Jim Good 5 stars
9/18/03 Noacat This movie hurt me and I want to hurt it back. 2 stars
9/18/03 larry Good 5 stars
9/17/03 dontaye it is very scary better than the ring by a long shot 5 stars
9/16/03 Greg GREAT 5 stars
9/06/03 Fred THIS MOVIE ROCKS!!!! 5 stars
9/05/03 Joe Suck it, Action movie fan! Suck itl ong and suck it hard 5 stars
9/02/03 Joey Very good horror film 5 stars
8/14/03 thegeld this film makes u jump 2 much :-) 5 stars
7/24/03 Maggie This Movie Is the So good so get your facts stright 5 stars
7/01/03 dontaye darkness falls was so better than the ring 5 stars
6/14/03 Alice The beginning was very good, even scary, then it blew up 3 stars
6/12/03 Paul Trevk I like a lot this Movie, i mean, i knew it was a fake but it's fun enjoy a horror movie. 4 stars
6/10/03 john doe this movie was bad a$$ 4 stars
5/31/03 othee omg did Disney make this ? 1 stars
4/11/03 The Velcro Warlock Tooth Fairy as a Serial Killer? A skuzzumblupcious hoot! Santa Claus 2 is better. 2 stars
4/11/03 Valerie Cameron Sorry, E-Rock,, but amoebas don't have testes! 2 stars
4/11/03 E-Rock Darkness Falls... On this director's career. This film licks amoeba testes... 1 stars
3/12/03 Brandy The film was okay... kind of stupid, but okay... 3 stars
3/12/03 alex seals i thought it was good it hade me keep the light on for awhile i wish it had more of a plot 3 stars
3/07/03 She's Hott At least it has Emma Caufield 2 stars
3/02/03 DarkFaery70 I thought it was okay, but nothing to pay fullprice for 3 stars
2/19/03 Blame Wes Craven All these post-Scream horror flicks are awful, but this one takes the prize 1 stars
2/15/03 Chris Sorry, I thought this film was a guilty pleasure. I loved the settings! 4 stars
2/12/03 The Aussie Film Reviewer Clueless, thankless, hapless, hopeless. 1 stars
2/07/03 Tony Starks Had Potential . . . fell short, all though there were a few scares . . . 3 stars
2/05/03 meathole This was literally a joke. It was like a SNL parady of a movie. 1 stars
2/03/03 E-Rock Darkness Falls... On this director's career. This film licks amoeba testes... 1 stars
2/03/03 Collin The Villaness Lokks Like A Bastard Child Of Freddy Kruger Only Not As Scary 1 stars
2/02/03 Bridget Dougherty Could of, Would of, Should of been a better movie. 3 stars
2/02/03 Milkman Wes Meets all the requirements of a formula horror film. Generic but watchable. 4 stars
1/29/03 Kyle Bad, but not horrid. 2 stars
1/28/03 Jon C. Ericson Oh God!!! The Ring was sucessful now here comes the clones. 3 stars
1/28/03 kosta its about the tooth fairy.... i mean, COME THE FUCK ON 1 stars
1/27/03 Vicious "kicksass movie" sounds like a studio tool 1 stars
1/27/03 George Jung A movie about the tooth fairy called "Darkness Falls". Fuck me, even the title sucks. 1 stars
1/27/03 Cyberscout Can a whole town forget how to light a fire when the power goes out? 2 stars
1/27/03 Jack A Shameless Ripoff Of A Nightmare On Elm Street Terrible 1 stars
1/26/03 Want my time back Predictable, boring, awful effects. Burn the fucking negative. 1 stars
1/26/03 Want my Money Back Don't even rent it it is crap 1 stars
1/26/03 NeckBreaker Row Predictable plot, bad acting, more a comedy than a horror flick 1 stars
1/25/03 Grace A plot that doesn't go anywhere, bad acting, and cheesy effect. 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  24-Jan-2003 (PG-13)
  DVD: 03-Aug-2004

UK
  N/A

Australia
  28-Aug-2003


Directed by
  Jonathan Liebesman

Written by
  Joe Harris

Cast
  Chaney Kley
  Emma Caulfield
  Andrew Bayly
  Emily Browning
  Lee Cormie
  Peter Curtin



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