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Overall Rating

Awesome: 11.11%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 0%
Total Crap88.89%

1 review, 3 user ratings

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Tropical Heat
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by Chris Parry

"Some people will do anything for a free trip to India."
1 stars

In countries that aren’t the USA, the general rule of thumb when you’re looking to make a profit on your feature film is to include a recognizable US actor in the cast. This means that your chances of selling the film to an American distributor is greatly improved, which is good since a third of the movie-going box office money is tied up in North America. But not everyone understands the difference between recognizable and lame. Those behind Tropical Heat seem to be very well acquainted with lame, since they’ve brought Rick Rossovich and Maryam D’Abo all the way to India to appear in an exotic erotic thriller set on the subcontinent. Only it’s not very exotic, hardly at all erotic, and about as thrilling as golf. Women's golf.

When we think of exotic India, we think of palatial buildings with intricate architecture, blazing sunshine and maybe a few nice caramel maidens swaying palm leaves over your head as you suck down a paralyzer or two. In this flick, exotic means an elephant shows up now and then, there’s a couple of guys in ornate butler’s uniforms and Rossovich and D’Abo hump in a stream once or twice. But basically, you see a lot of the real India in this thing – dirty, poor, hot and terrible with a camera.

Holy cow, this film features the worst camerawork I’ve ever seen in any movie. When characters are in frame, they’re only barely in frame. When they’re not in frame, the camera has as much luck finding them as Stevie Wonder would have trying to find a red M&M. I don’t believe there was a dolly used in one single scene of this production, as whenever the camera does move, it shifts around like someone is carrying the tripod while the camera is running. Note to director Jag Mundhra: If your DP is having an epileptic seizure while filming, the generally accepted next step is to stop filming, take him to hospital and get a replacement.

The story follows an American guy (Rossovich) who is sent out to India to investigate the death of an American woman (D’Abo)’s Maharaja husband. Of course, she’s so racked with guilt that she humps the investigator within hours of his arrival. Several days of frequent humping follows, with Rossovich’s character doing next to no investigating of anything, even when a local girl (Asha Siewkumar) contacts him and claims her father’s murder is tied up in this matter. Of course, she humps him eventually too, which is more entertaining that any of the storyline, especially being the film is littered with Indian actors speaking awful English and the worst direction this side of Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Rossovich and D’Abo look absolutely terrified throughout most of this film, like they knew they’d just made a shockingly bad career move but didn’t want to get arrested by trying to run out on their contracts. At least, I hope that was a terrified look… neither are really up to speed on the acting business, so they might have just had that Freddie Prinze Jr glaze going on. Who can say?

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originally posted: 01/02/03 17:46:28
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User Comments

10/04/05 senthil lee anne beaman goodsex 5 stars
8/09/03 lola getz unbelievably bad plot, characters, costumes, sex. Not one redeeming feature, except perhap 1 stars
5/30/03 Michael Stevens One of the worst movies ever 1 stars
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  02-Feb-1993 (R)


  02-Feb-1993 (MA)

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