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Overall Rating

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 11.11%
Pretty Bad: 0%
Total Crap88.89%

1 review, 3 user ratings

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Boob Tube, The
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by Chris Parry

"This is the kind of stuff the killed the Drive-In."
1 stars

Good lord, how long has it been now since Iíve seen a good movie? It feels like forever, and with garbage like The Boob Tube on my list, the future looks mighty bleak. A one-hour bunch of TV parodies gussied up to look like a movie, this rip-off of the 1974 cult favorite, The Groove Tube, is so cheap, unfunny and poorly made that itíll remind you of your dadís home video movies. You know the ones, where the title-cards are written in pen and the cast consists of your little cousin Sandy, your kid brother and the next door neighborís retarded son, Horace? The only difference here is that the cast is marginally better looking and mostly naked. But as far as acting goes, Horace wouldnít be out of place.

The majority of this flick is a parody of a soap opera, consisting of a young doctor trying to deal with all the women who keep knocking on his door asking for sex. Way to explore the boundaries of the concept of narrative, writing team!

But to really get to know how bad this flick is, youíve got to hear some dialogue.

Masseuse: Come back later and Iíll give you a massage on the house.
Teenage girl: Iíd rather have it on the floor!

Wow, thatís pretty bad. How about this?

Cheerleader: Hey Doc. You might have noticed, when I came in, that on a scale of one to ten Iím about a... sixty-nine.

BAM! See what she did? She said sixty-nine! Oh, delicious.

As far as the production values of this film go, the writing puts them to shame. Every scene takes place in front of the same two blue walls, no matter where itís supposed to happen, and the lighting looks like it came from one of those $9 flashlights you buy from Wal-Mart. In place of wall decorations, some scenes actually have pages of the newspaper ripped out and stuck on with tape. In others, theyíre simply drawn on with crayon. Seriously.

This kind of flick was produced, written, performed and acted far better a few years later with The Kentucky Fried Movie, and maybe when this flick was released without Kentucky Fried Movie to compare it to, it passed musterÖ But I seriously doubt it. I dare anyone to watch this and not shake their head in bewilderment and how anyone could possibly have considered this material or these actors to be even close to worth putting to film. In all probability, those involved probably didnít expect that weíd still be watching their crappy little 60-minute flick thirty years later, but that shouldnít excuse such an awful lack of quality in every single aspect of the production.

Christopher Odin, the writer/director of this mess, never worked in the film world again after this was released. Thatís no shame, as it looks like only one take was used for every scene, no editing was done to cover up errors of bad focus, and comedic timing was something completely foreign to him. Amazingly, there was a sequel to this film two years later, The Boob Tube Strikes Again, but even on a project that ill-conceived, there was still no part in proceedings for Chris Odin.

If you gave me $38, a video camera, two large pepperoni pizzas, six unemployed people and a set of blue walls, I could do better than this film in a single day of shooting.

Heck, so could Horace.

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originally posted: 01/06/03 11:37:11
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User Comments

6/14/04 Anthony It was that bad that it was funny 3 stars
3/22/03 Luke Gaines Terrible as a film, not too bad as softcore porn. Judging as a film though, wretched. 1 stars
1/28/03 Jon C. Ericson Less tube more boob 1 stars
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  02-Feb-1975 (R)


  02-Feb-1975 (R)

Directed by
  Christopher Odin

Written by
  Christopher Odin

  John Alderman
  Sharon Kelly
  Lyllah Torena
  Elana Casey
  John Reigrod
  Lois Lane

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