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Overall Rating

Awesome: 31.91%
Worth A Look53.19%
Average: 8.51%
Pretty Bad: 2.13%
Total Crap: 4.26%

3 reviews, 29 user ratings

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Crimson Tide
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by Chris Parry

"You know how much of a guy flick this is? There's no women in it."
4 stars

Nobody plays a black man with a chip on his shoulder like Denzel. And nobody plays a white man with a chip on his shoulder like Gene Hackman. Put them both together and what do you have?

CHiPs? No. That's what you get when you mix a latino man with huge teeth and a white guy with trailer park hair..

No, when you mix Denzel and Gene you get a movie full of close ups, a bit of shouting, a lot of posturing, a dog, a submarine, Russians, guns, runaway nukes and saluting.

Not necessarily in that order.

So Crimson Tide, in case my cryptic beginning hasn't allowed you to figure it out, is just such a film.

Big submarine. Gene is the Captain of said sub. A hard assed skipper from the old school. On board comes Denzel, a college trained expert in blah blah sent out to keep an eye on proceedings.

Oh, that whacky coyote Gene. His methods are a liiiiiiittle eccentric and when the Russians lose a nuke (cos they always do, just ask George Clooney) to rebels who threaten to turn Times Square and lower Alberquerue into honey-nut cheerios, well that zany Captain is all guns n guts.

An emergency note is sent to the sub, commanding the firing of nukes at the rebels, in order to save the USA. Captain Loopy springs into action. Fire! Fire!

But hark! Radio signals are cut off just as an another emergency message is coming in! Was it an order to fire? Was it an order to halt? Was it an order of three pepperoni pizzas, french fries and a coke? (I think you'd get the half hour freebie being two hunderd feet underwater. Deliver this, pizza boy!)

Denzel says nobody wins a nuclear war. Gene says an order is an order unless it is rescinded and a partial message is no message.

Mutiny! Backstabbing! Huffing! One set! A dog!

All the ingredients are here for a thoroughly enjoyable guy-flick.

Oh yes, she won't be flicking off the bra straps after this one, lads. It's the movie you see when you're single, alone, not expecting company and wearing the track pants you never leave the house in.

But it is a good movie. It's fun to watch. It's very back and forth, the principal actors can sure as hell deliver the lines they're given, but it lacks enough substance to really be a classic.

Recall how Contact spent way too much time dwelling on theory and details, and then explained everything ad nauseum for the helmeted ones in the audience?

This one goes the other way. Concepts aren't really explored fully, or virulently enough. Both sides assume you know what they mean and don't launch into the full on scathing vocal battles that A Few Good Men does.

It tried, it didn't suck, but really it wasn't much more than posturing and advanced claustraphobia.

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originally posted: 11/04/98 00:27:55
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User Comments

2/20/11 Ark Very good. Lots of tension. "I am the commander of this vessel!" Great line! 5 stars
11/12/10 Jeff Wilder Excellent in providing tension. 4 stars
12/01/06 David Pollastrini very well done 5 stars
8/11/06 Sepi53 Super hyper great film of Gene and Denzel! 5 stars
6/08/06 Peggy Doty Great 5 stars
5/25/06 saw Denzel Washington made Denzel look stupid. see the movie! 5 stars
2/21/05 Captain Craig Two powerful actors face off for and all time ego contest. One of the best ever 5 stars
1/31/05 Lance Wright Best Cold War movie made. Terrific score as well. 5 stars
5/31/04 Gregor Hackman/Denzel great, movie so-so 3 stars
2/25/04 john pretty solid submarine movie clearly elevated by Hackman and Washington 4 stars
3/21/03 Graeme Sutcliffe this movie is fukin crap 1 stars
11/27/02 patrick mighty fine. 4 stars
10/24/02 Jim Boyce On A Par With The Hunt For Red October 5 stars
12/09/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) Sometimes boring, sometimes good. 3 stars
11/09/01 R.W. Welch Okay Cold War drama; writing sometimes does not ring authentic. 3 stars
10/21/01 Shams Huque Fine film...Great musical score by Hans Zimmer. His best. 5 stars
2/03/01 Not Important This is one of the greats. Along with Hunt for Red October, Das Boot, and U571. 5 stars
12/29/00 Tara Lynn Dosado My absolute favorite movie. 5 stars
11/29/00 Cristopher Revilla intense flick, will keep you in the edge of your seat 5 stars
11/13/00 The EVIL Penguin I love it. The musical score is fabulous 5 stars
6/25/99 David Keech Two great actors are given a fairly compelling script. The result is a fun movie to watch. 4 stars
6/09/99 Elizaveta I LOVE the music! 5 stars
2/18/99 Piz Denzel and Hackman are great...never wanted to see a fight so bad since Rocky! 4 stars
11/22/98 little jerry Best submarine film ever made.Much better than DAS BOOT.Washington & Hackman are superb. 4 stars
10/27/98 Silent Rob How obvious can rewritten chunks of a script be...??? Check this out! 3 stars
9/06/98 Admiral Mung Bean Soda (+/- 12db) I can't remember much about this at all. I always get it confused with Red October. 2 stars
9/05/98 Jon Sucked compared to The Rock 1 stars
9/04/98 Badass A tense and extremely well-acted action movie. 5 stars
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  12-May-1995 (R)
  DVD: 16-May-2006


  12-Jun-1995 (M)

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