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Overall Rating

Awesome: 16.89%
Worth A Look35.14%
Average: 22.97%
Pretty Bad: 14.86%
Total Crap: 10.14%

7 reviews, 106 user ratings

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Faculty, The
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by Chris Parry

"'I'm not an alien! I'm just discontent!'"
2 stars

You have to wonder how this was pitched. Was it "we'll make it like the Breakfast Club, except there'll be Aliens in it that take over Mr Vernon!" Perhaps it was "we'll remake Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, only with the hottest new teeange sensations!" Or maybe it was "we got Kevin Williamson on contract for one more movie, and Rodriguez is bored. Make something. Quick."

Whatever it was, the result is pure schlock, and not even in a good way. The comparisons to the Invasion Of The Body Snatchers are well-founded. It's the same movie, only much dumbed down. Williamson, to his credit, finds that directly referring to the movie he is ripping off over and over forces people to call it a homage. It's a msart move, but you and I know it's a cheap pass-off.

And to Williamson's eternal damnation, he's clearly mixed a Breakfast Club redux into the mix here. Witness the geek, the princess, the misunderstood jock, the underachieving rebel and the punk-chick. Totally.

Now the fact that Kevin Williamson runs to formula, breast wiring, six pack abs and "homages" is no news to anyone who knows his work. The Screams, the I Still Knows, the recent Halloween revival and that altar of "duh", Dawson's Creek, are all Kevvy's doing. No surprises there.

But Robert Rodriguez? The director of El Mariachi? Doing this drivel? Look out for the apocalypse, coming soon. I suppose there shouldn't be much surprise, really. Past Rodriguez projects have shown a tilt towards the sell-out. From Dusk Til Dawn (and the two awful prequels yet to be released), Desperado (the bigger budget remake of El Mariachi), Four Rooms (puke) - there's not a lot of credibility going on there.

And I guess if you're crossing the sell-out line you might as well go all the way. A Tommy Hilfiger TV commercial (Robert Rodriguez, director of The Faculty, in theatres soon) and the lowest step on the ladder... a cameo by aint-it-cool-news internet figurehead, Harry Knowles. Way to win over that internet community there, folks. After all, we're all sheep. Will Harry criticise the movie on his website? Will he, fuck.

So, the story. A geek finds a small mollusk on a football field. He thinks it's a new discovery until the school's teachers start behaving very "Children Of The Corn" and become obsessed with water. Nothing unusual about seeing the football coach standing in the middle of the football field under a sprinkler system. Especially when there's a perfectly good swimming pool available. Seems these water loving aliens have taken over the faculty and want the students next.

Recruiting the assistance of The Breakfast Club, the geek and co. find that ground diaretic pills are bad for the aliens. Taking their science from early sci-fi movies (why not, NASA does) they have to find a way to kill the aliens, despite the diaretics being in short supply.

All in all, ho fucking hum.

There are a few high points. Nudity is always good, and Rodriguez knows it. Some of the effects are fairly awesome, while most are kinda funny-looking. The cast are all over absymal, but nice to look at, except for the occasional hair-style from hell (someone tell that Halloween kid his hair gets laughs, pleeeeeeease).

Rodriguez knows how to move a camera. What he doesn't know is what to put before it. Williamson knows how to market and rip-off. What he doesn't know how to do is create. And the audience.. well they just eat popcorn and leave quietly.

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originally posted: 02/14/99 14:48:35
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User Comments

10/30/16 morris campbell teenage invasion of the body snatchers cool characters 3 stars
11/19/13 richard with the cast and director this had it should have been much better 1 stars
1/30/10 Dane Youssef Not bad, but nothing special. Standard kiddie sci-fi fare w/some light "Scream" stuff. 2 stars
6/30/09 art THESE KID"S WE"RE ON DRUG"S! 1 stars
2/23/07 David Pollastrini good gore and hot women! 5 stars
8/05/06 nicklor24 good flick, check it out if you haven't already 5 stars
4/25/06 Eden Nothing amazing, but its fun to watch. A guilty pleasure 4 stars
1/09/06 aimless only borderline moronic 3 stars
1/03/06 cody a cool flick, teenage verison of invasion of body snatchers, cool characters and story 4 stars
8/18/05 ES Good movie with some neat monster action = give it a try 4 stars
10/13/04 Laura Elijah is sooooooooooooo hott in this movie!! 5 stars
6/11/04 Bajs Smooth 5 stars
4/11/04 reptilensi My secret guilty pleasure. I love this movie! 4 stars
3/22/04 Vicious all the bad shit from high school is actually quite spot on. Fun allegory. 4 stars
2/29/04 melissa this movie kicked ass 5 stars
1/24/04 Elena Garbage. Nothing original. Laughable. But Elijah Wood is so damn adorable. 1 stars
12/26/03 Sara Highly Enjoyable 5 stars
12/10/03 Samuel good! 3 stars
12/03/03 Agent Sands I hope it's a spoof, because that's basically all it amounts to. 3 stars
11/04/03 American Slasher Goddess Basically, a teen version of the Invasion of the Body Snatchers that's watchable. 3 stars
12/21/02 palaboy101 Just becoz ur paranoid doesn't mean they're not out 2 get u... 5 stars
12/06/02 GIA B O R I N G !!!!!!!!!!! 2 stars
6/26/02 Film Guy Good i highly enjoyed this movie cvery suspensful but kinda predictable ending 3 stars
5/30/02 wouldn't u like to know? it's great!!! 5 stars
5/15/02 Blake This movie was asome 5 stars
4/07/02 Callie McGarry I loved your movie you are so cool and cute 5 stars
3/08/02 Mo Anand great of the better teen horror to Scream 4 stars
2/20/02 Sylvie Alice Borden Great! But why was awesome Salma Hayek wasted in a bit part? 5 stars
2/20/02 Andrew Carden Mediorce, but Enjoyable [and Scary] B-Movie Creature Flick. 4 stars
1/04/02 KMG Can't believe Elijah Wood signed on for this shit! 1 stars
1/03/02 yaserodwan i love her 5 stars
12/01/01 Scottish Kilt A rip-off of John Carpenters Thing, But wasn't the worst ive ever seen. 3 stars
11/17/01 Janus the Anus Pretty dumb movie, worth 2 stars, but gratuitous nudity deserves an extra star 3 stars
10/29/01 xcvcvc xcvxc 1 stars
10/04/01 Phoenix I thought it might be stupid, but I found The Faculty very enjoyable. 4 stars
8/29/01 Gary Hartnett's and DuVall's efforts are wasted in this messy shit. Jansenn is sexy tho. 1 stars
6/30/01 ***Super Girl*** josh was more of a star than salma hayek she had like 5 minutes air time! and she sucked!! 4 stars
6/12/01 Rebecca (hartnett) I wanna li-li-li-lick josh from his head to his toe, he is so fucking sexy! I love him!yum 4 stars
6/03/01 Rebecca Worth a look cuz Josh Hartnett is so indcredibly hot! 4 stars
6/02/01 Thrillhouse X-Files meets Boston Public 3 stars
5/12/01 The Moorhen Shitty start, shitty ending. The best bit is that girl wandering around naked for a while. 4 stars
5/05/01 Bada Bing Crosby Blow me Delilah cause I'm sick of your shit 5 stars
5/04/01 roby lafon like any other sci-fi movie but still good 5 stars
5/04/01 Gracy Lionheart Not a great movie, but entertaining if you're dieing of boredom. 3 stars
3/10/01 Jake That Josh Hartnett is butt ugly. 1 stars
2/15/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi Decent teen sci-fi/horror. At least the characters aren't troglodytes dressed in Gap. 4 stars
2/14/01 Richard Wright How can ANYONE recommend this pile of crap? Have you all taken leave of your senses?! 1 stars
2/12/01 Brian Williamson and Rodriguez show their love of movies(good&bad)in this gem. Count the homages! 4 stars
1/08/01 Krystal Wascom JOSH HARTNETT is HOT 4 stars
10/24/00 Ground Zero 2 words: Salma Hayek 3 stars
10/02/00 Madoc69 agreed decent B-flick 3 stars
8/16/00 Terrie Smith Better than most of the teen gore films; nice to see Piper Laurie in a limited role. 4 stars
8/01/00 Elvisfan decent B-flick; could be called "10 Things I Hate About Body Snatchers" 3 stars
7/11/00 DAVID I hate teenie bopper movies but this one is an exception!! 4 stars
4/29/00 Steve Layne Underrated and with time has gotten better than most teen movies of the 90's. 5 stars
4/24/00 ryan Josh Hartnett was sooo HOT!!!! My only reason for watching 5 stars
2/21/00 arnold great cast great movie 5 stars
2/06/00 Kyle Broflovski Takes itself way too seriously, and the ending is laughable. But I've seen MUCH worse. 4 stars
1/16/00 Lame-Oh Do Kevin Williamson a favor and teach him a lesson in being stupid, straight faced me 2 stars
11/01/99 SMILEY Excellent idea, awesome cast 5 stars
10/25/99 Monni excellent 5 stars
8/15/99 Kate I thought it was awesome. One of the best "teen" movies out there. 5 stars
7/14/99 Marshy Funky- drug filled, paranoia trip with a heavy dose of B movie. 4 stars
7/08/99 The Bomb 69 "He's tweakin', let him tweak" Zeke is so cool! 5 stars
6/15/99 Dylan Sorry folks- this movie is well worth seeing. This homage to 50's alien flicks is great. 4 stars
4/13/99 Jon Jackson A slightly underrated flick, enjoyable. 3 stars
4/05/99 Cool Thing Very very ordinary. Not scary, not believable, formula all the way. 2 stars
3/10/99 Ah Dooey Body Snatchers meet Party of Five on crack 3 stars
3/01/99 Spankey The movie had an alright plot, and Josh Hartnett was awesome, but Usher...I don't think so 4 stars
2/28/99 MR HOLLYWOOD!! Usher fucks it up!,Suspense,F/X,and Kevin Williamson,what more else?,how bout some reality 4 stars
2/23/99 punkpixie I thought this movie kicked ass. I saw it twice. This movie is "guaranteed to jack you up" 5 stars
2/17/99 ShadowStar The movie was like a candy bar: would've been easier to swallow if they removed the rapper 1 stars
2/16/99 Christian Lowell I didn't like that a rapper got to be in it. Rap is evil and rappers are dirty and inhuman 1 stars
2/10/99 Justin Roberts Sucks a big white ASS 1 stars
2/08/99 SwampyD I've seen better movies on MST3K 1 stars
2/06/99 Mark Reilly Movie was on the low side of ok... soundtrack was AWESOME!! 3 stars
2/05/99 luke mccoy i loved the movie it was awsome 5 stars
2/02/99 CYaniDERuSH fuck u tommy hill and all of you wanna stupid clones 1 stars
1/31/99 El Dorko Great, but where's the adrenaline rush and fun? 2 stars
1/28/99 kelly another rapper playing a role he can't do 2 stars
1/28/99 Whiplash pretty good. 3 stars
1/28/99 Brandi Gilbert not bad 3 stars
1/25/99 Cool thing Williamson has gotten so repetitive. 2 stars
1/25/99 Meepos. Didn't expect a lot, but really, this was awful all over. 2 stars
1/20/99 jvt Kevin Williamson does not have an original thought in his head 2 stars
1/17/99 Redial I love horrors but this 1 actually has a plot, which makes it better. And Marsden is HOT! 5 stars
1/12/99 Miss Scarlett So when should we expect the sequel? OH GOD!!!! 1 stars
1/12/99 Mr Showbiz derivative, scare-less paean to body-snatcher movies 2 stars
1/12/99 Frenchie the Frenchman tres sexy! 4 stars
1/12/99 Bluntman Bullshit! Williamson is a hack and a half! 2 stars
1/11/99 I.P. Freeley Dawson's Creek meets The Outer Limits. 'Nuff said. 4 stars
1/10/99 David Barnett This was the most annoyingly generic movie I've seen in a long time. 2 stars
1/10/99 Sicarius Cool teachers and teens but the monster yawn 3 stars
1/09/99 Freyja Entertaining enough for the $5 I paid. And that's good enough for me. 4 stars
1/07/99 Jo Mama This movie kicks ass! Lots of fun...I laughed my ass off. Laura Harris is a hottie! 4 stars
1/06/99 E Invasion of the Body Snatchers part 19. A slow witted and dull movie. No fun. 2 stars
1/03/99 Fartass Party of Five a la X-Files. Gotta love it. 4 stars
1/02/99 Johny I am not. Williamson doesn't employ one original piece into the script. I didn't HATE it. 2 stars
1/02/99 Chris Johny is an Idiot 4 stars
1/01/99 jvt Blatantly unoriginal, but it's better than SCREAM 2 2 stars
12/29/98 Schizofrenic Goosebumps a la The Outer Limits. Not bad for a sci-fi flick. 3 stars
12/29/98 tr This movie is one of the worst of 1998. 1 stars
12/26/98 Shadow Raider How did this crap get released on Chrismas day? 3 stars
12/26/98 kozmic If you have seen invasion of the body snatchers then this flick won't impress you. 3 stars
12/26/98 The Dude this movie is one of the best sience fiction-action movie I've ever fucking seen. 5 stars
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  25-Dec-1998 (R)
  DVD: 12-Apr-2011


  11-Feb-1999 (M)

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