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Overall Rating

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look: 12%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 24%
Total Crap64%

2 reviews, 13 user ratings

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National Lampoon's Dorm Daze
[] Buy posters from this movie
by Chris Parry

"National Lampoon used to mean 'good comedy'. Now it's considered a warning."
1 stars

Just how much does it cost a filmmaker to get the owner of the National Lampoon name to let you use it to push an awful movie anyway? It surely woudl't cost much, because between this film and the recently released National Lampoon's Lady Killers, there isn't a single laugh to be had over nearly three hours of supposed comedy, and if a million bucks was spent on the pair of them, I'd be very surprised. Don't be fooled - the presence of the National Lampoon moniker does in no way indicate that this project had any involvement from the people who once put out America's (nay, the world's) funniest magazine. In fact, this awful flick is nothing more than a low budget, low standard, laugh-free yawner that was once called Dorm Day Crazy. Later it was renamed A College Sex Comedy. But I guess someone eventually ponied up the dinero to get the recognizable National Lampoon name in the title, much the same way as $10,000 will buy you a "starring Corey Feldman" credit on the video jacket, or $5,000 will buy you a Clint Howard cameo. In the world of straight-to-video sex comedies, quality obviously means little, but what's really bizarre about Dorm Daze is that with nothing more than a purchased title, a small role by Boy Meets World's one-time teen starlet 'Topanga', and an appearance by the kid who played the fat little brother in Son in Law, this pile of doody actually earned a big screen release.

Well, truth be told, it didn't. You see, buying a title and the occasional pop culture reference appearance to pad out your cast isn't the only sneaky trick in the straight-to-video filmmaker's back pocket. Another one is where they book out a handful of screens in large American cities, then despite the fact that hardly anybody buys a ticket, the producers sell more copies of the video and DVD when it gets a rental release, because most video stores will take any film that has been on the big screen in far bigger numbers than those that haven't. Weak stuff all around.

So the storyline, if you even care, involves a seemingly mixed dorm at your average American college campus. It must be a small dorm and a small college, because I counted no more than fifteen kids in the entire movie, even when the stars were walking across campus... perhaps they're the kids left behind during Christmas break when everyone else is in Cabo San Lucas or at home eating turkey with granny and mom.

Or maybe this film is some seriously cheap assed shit.

So a kid called Styles (Son in Law's Patrick Renna)... Wait, is it just me, or does the presence of a 'Styles' in a film instantly take everyone else out of the flick too? I mean, I've known literally thousands of people in my lifetime and never even heard of a Styles or a Stiles, but there always seems to be one popping up in movies. Teen Wolf had a Stiles, so too does The Ladies Man, Beverly Hills Cop II, Willard, the Gilmore Girls, Serpico, The Phantom, Basic, Boyz n' The Hood had a couple, Jake and the Fatman, Star Trek II: The Search for Spock, and let's not forget Ricochet... but in most of those, the person had the surname Styles... in Dorm Daze, it's his first name. And his brother (perennial ugly teen movie cast member Chris Owen) is called Booker.

Styles and Booker... hmm, do you think these kids hated their parents? No more than their dorm neighbor Foosball must hate his.

Oh wait! They're not their real names! They're self-imposed nicknames that are supposed to be "coooool"! I guess that means we can all make up names for ourselves too! I think I'll call myself Golthar, Slayer of the Christians, or maybe I'll go with Pooky, the Loveable Sockpuppet with Paranoid Delusions of Impending Death. Fear me.

So Styles has bought his younger brother Booker a hooker, so he can pop his cherry. Because, you know, whores are cool. But Booker is in love with a hot chick who in reality wouldn't spit on his weird-looking ass if it was spurting flames and setting fire to grandma's curtains. But hey, since we're lying about everything else in Dorm Daze, we might as well peg the lizard-looking guy as some noble virgin who understands true love while the fat kid with the sunken eye sockets runs around screaming at everyone to "fuck off". Great.

So while that's happening, a French exchange student who is hot (because every exchange student in movies is A) a hot girl and B) French) is mistaken for the hooker, and the hooker is mistaken for the Frenchie, and hilarity ensues. Or at least it's supposed to, and it might have if it weren't for the fact that there are about 92,000 cases of "oh my god, they totally confused A with B" going on at any time in this movie.

See as the token black kid is rehearsing lines for his drama class with a hot white girl, and his girlfriend naturally thinks she's overhearing him threaten her into having an abortion. Observe as she tells the guy to test her 'awesome abs' by punching her in the stomach, only for her attention to be distracted by some passing floozies, leaving her wheezing on the floor and the floozies assuming the guy is a wifebeater.

It goes on and on.. a bad guy has to deliver some cash but confuses a college gal with the actual recipient, then the bag the cash is in is confused with a similar bag, and in the middle of all that, the hooker stays conspicuously clothed and the French exchange student does likewise. So obviously, since nobody wanted to get naked for the chump change this film was offering them, they went to the old tried and tested option of simply hiring a nude actress to do one scene, which might have taken her an hour to actually shoot, but was just long enough for her to show her ridiculously implanted boobs and lezz out.

Gratuitious nudity... check.

Frankly, this is about as bad as teen comedy could possibly get. National Lampoon Presents Dorm Daze is, in my opinion, a big fat lie from start to finish. It's not a comedy in any way that I can recognize. With the exception of the aforementioned gratuitous scene, it's got no nudity at all, despite the 'unrated' tag. The music is a yawn, the cast is a bunch of nameless C-listers, and the script is the kind of ridiculous mistaken identity horseshit that could only come from a pair of writers who specialize in STV garbage and a directing duo that pay their rent doing sound work on other (better) films.

To my way of thinking, the funniest thing about this film is that it made six times the box office in Russia that it made in its country of origin. What are there, a whole lot of Boy Meets World fans in Russia? Did Son in Law pick up some sort of cult following in the land of borscht? Does the ugly redheaded kid who eats a pube in the American Pie movies have his own Tonight Show out there or something? I don't get it. Maybe in Russian this stuff is actually amusing. Or poignant. Or... I don't even know.

Clearly the bottomfeeders in the cast enjoyed their fleeting moment on the big screen because more than a few of these people have signed on to work with the directors again. Others have gone on to work in Traci Lords/Lance Henriksen thrillers, which if you ask me is the far wiser career move.

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originally posted: 12/24/04 20:10:27
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User Comments

4/15/11 Roy Smith Topanga got really fat 2 stars
12/19/09 gil this shit sucked cunt 1 stars
11/05/07 Frank Surprisingly good 4 stars
3/28/07 fools♫gold It might be just me, but I found it SURPRISINGLY hilarious! A 4/5 to be safe. 4 stars
1/17/07 David Pollastrini boring, dull, etc. 2 stars
5/12/06 SpyV Not the worst Lampoon movie, but close! 2 stars
12/03/05 Jennifer S. A few funny parts, but it was too much like a REALLY long episode of Three's Company. 2 stars
8/04/05 ^podo funny:) 4 stars
8/31/04 Desperado Too many mixups in too little of time, but you gotta understand who the target audience is 2 stars
8/26/04 S.F. 5 mixups. dreadful waste of time! 1 stars
8/16/04 Leon Trotsky Oh fuck, this is bad. Not even worth it if you're drunk. 1 stars
10/01/03 Bruce Wayne Sucks 1 stars
9/26/03 Boombah Baby Good grief. 2 stars
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  26-Sep-2003 (R)
  DVD: 10-Aug-2004



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