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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 4.88%
Average: 17.07%
Pretty Bad: 19.51%
Total Crap: 24.39%

6 reviews, 46 user ratings

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by Erik Childress

"Cute Lesbian Spies...And I Was Bored"
1 stars

SCREENED AT THE 2004 SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL: D.E.B.S. is so unflinchingly cute that it forgets to be either funny or flat-out satiric. Last year at Sundance I missed out on the short film which inspired financing for the full-length project, but heard about it non-stop. Cute little schoolgirls and their outfits secretly fighting crime for a government organization with a lesbian twist to the tongue? Who wouldn’t be down? The most common phrase I heard uttered at the end of the D.E.B.S. screening was “well, it wasn’t nearly as good as the short.” With an additional 80 minutes tacked on, the film is the equivalent of trying to quietly garner a squirrel’s attention to come eat of your hand. After about 20 minutes of trying, you get bored and choose to start throwing rocks at it.

In the prologue we’re clued into the existence of the D.E.B.S. organization in an attempt to parody Charlie’s Angels (which was already a parody of itself to begin with.) Certain questions on the S.A.T. clue in the government to which teens have the right stuff to lie, cheat and steal while still maintaining an affinity for makeup and clothing tips.

The mod D.E.B. squad that we meet consist of no-nonsense leader, Max (Meagan Goode); sex-and-cigarette crazed French-Asian, Dominique (Devon Aoki); mousy Janet (Jill Ritchie); and good-girl Amy (Sara Foster), who is the only member to ace her exam. Their latest assignment is to capture criminal mastermind, Lucy Diamond (Jordana Brewster), who in this world is just a bad girl around the same age. Isn’t that cute?

That’s basically the one joke the film sticks with, so by the third time the crack spies talk about tweeny girly stuff in the middle of their mission it becomes as insufferable and as interesting as an article listing on the cover of Young Miss. The twist is that Lucy forms an immediate affection for Amy, thus throwing the D.E.B. into a conflict between duty and booty. I wish there was more for my mission report, but save for scene-after-scene of Lucy trying to woo said strumpet and Amy trying to hide it from her “team”, you’ll find most audience members looking for rocks.

The lesbian angle of D.E.B.S. is admirable only for not presenting itself as an agenda piece. It’s a straightforward girl-loves-girl scenario, as normal as any heterosexual union. Except it’s not funny, not interesting and certainly not romantic since the cutesy jokiness of it all is always winking at us. There’s nothing to invest in except in how stunning the lead actresses are. Normally I never want to accentuate looks over talent (and the girls aren’t bad here at all) but between Foster’s girl-next-door sexiness (that's her yellow bikini on display in The Big Bounce) and Brewster’s 3-D hotness, it’s the most acceptable kind of boredom that you can find.

Writer/director Angela Robinson clearly jumped at her chance to expand her short and who could blame her? Problem is I think everyone jumped and had no idea where to land as the film feels like exactly what it is – a one-joke idea spread way too thin. Holland Taylor has a bit of fun with her appearance as the headmistress and the Erasure sing-a-long was…well…cute, but what happened to Jessica Cauffiel’s Russian villainess also looking for love? All seems like such a waste. It was pointed out to me that the premise of the original short comes into play in a sequence nearly an hour into the film. Even then I had to wonder what exactly was so clever to warrant 80 more minutes of it? Commercials can be both funny and sexy. It doesn’t mean we need a big-screen Dorito’s feature. D.E.B.S. is all very cute to be sure, it just isn’t interesting, funny or good.

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originally posted: 01/30/04 05:40:40
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OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2004 Sundance Film Festival. For more in the 2004 Sundance Film Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2004 CineVegas Film Festival. For more in the 2004 CineVegas Film Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2005 Palm Springs Film Festival. For more in the 2005 Palm Springs Film Festival series, click here.

User Comments

3/03/11 Charles Tatum Not nearly as clever as it thinks it is 2 stars
2/21/11 art "A REAL CLASSIC",give me a BRAKE! 1 stars
5/18/10 Timmy Awful unfunny mess 1 stars
12/07/09 art THIS FILM SHOULD BE PUT ON A BONFIRE! 1 stars
7/18/09 JOZNEE I Love it. . . !!!!!!!EXCELLENT MOVIE..JORDANA BREWSTER lookSS Hot. 5 stars
6/25/09 Leslie A fun story and great casting! 5 stars
10/08/08 Enry Wiki SEEN TWICE! Funny,original, yet subversive in presenting seriously a girl2girl relationship 5 stars
8/13/07 Friducha This is Lez camp at its best - if you dont like it, you dont get it... 5 stars
7/26/07 Katrina The movie trailer was decieving, didn't know anything about this movie, kind of shocking 2 stars
6/04/07 gansta dis movie is de bomb 5 stars
5/07/07 Chris Cute flick! Unrealistic of course, but a great Friday night movie! Cute! 5 stars
10/11/06 amber I loved it! It was cute and fun! 5 stars
9/28/06 Phiuk Yiu This movie sucks, no good action scenes and Lucy Diamond is a joke. Lesbian kissing? Good 1 stars
8/19/06 harkharjit a film full of excitement nd irony but some action was lacking 5 stars
10/20/05 tabitha its mint i love it watch the film with the actresses comments its halerious 5 stars
10/11/05 Tom Burns Not that good, some very hot girls though are in it. 2 stars
9/26/05 a. kurlovs creative, packed w/fun and laughs, completely unpretentious, and the soundtrack is great. 5 stars
8/24/05 Dogfish Oh,my God,it is very fine indeed 5 stars
8/21/05 Kym i just love the movie. ^_^ Jordana and Sara so hot!. 5 stars
8/09/05 Nampetch I love it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
8/07/05 Tabata B. Iuspa i justy love the movie. its message ut pretty cool 5 stars
7/28/05 Kat It was a hoot - a happy funny silly spoof 5 stars
6/29/05 T It's silly, campy fun. You won't learn any Life Lessons, but eh. 5 stars
6/23/05 sally angwin this film opened the melbourne queer film festiival and it went down big time 5 stars
6/08/05 Lindi I loved this movie! It had action, comedy, and Jordana Brewster!! I couldn't ask for more! 5 stars
5/12/05 amin sax 1 stars
3/26/05 Greg Ursic I liked the tongue-in-cheek styling mixed with some serious messages. Great soundtrack! 3 stars
3/19/05 Mark McLeod funny sort of charlie's angel type film.. 4 stars
10/15/04 Denise Sudell Cute genre parody. Jordana Brewster steals every scene, and is great eye candy to boot. 3 stars
10/11/04 Nathalie I friggin loved it! 5 stars
9/22/04 Jenni Sahramaa Great! 5 stars
9/19/04 Grace Just Terrible! 1 stars
8/17/04 sara funny is the less thing i can say. 5 stars
7/02/04 jeffrey Cute & fun movie. I'm sure they won't mind being compared to Charlies Angels in High schoo 4 stars
6/23/04 Lauren Nissen wow...this movie was pretty bad 2 stars
6/15/04 Brent Usry A pathetic over rated copy of about every film lately. Charlies Angeles Specifically! 1 stars
5/02/04 kate shaffer great fun film! 5 stars
4/23/04 Cristiana The most funny movie I've seen lately 5 stars
2/19/04 Randy Excellent Movie 5 stars
2/13/04 Sergio Vitale Probably the first lesbian funny movie!!! 4 stars
1/30/04 Katie Swanson What are they guys talking about? THIS is FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY! 5 stars
1/28/04 Katie This movie is pretty funny its not award worthy but I think its better than most comedys 4 stars
1/27/04 JJ saw at sundance very funny likeable silly sweet spoof -go see this movie 5 stars
1/27/04 Jimmy Chang there are lesbians and there is Devon Aoki!! No ?s asked 5 stars
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  25-Mar-2005 (PG-13)
  DVD: 07-Jun-2005



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