More in-depth film festival coverage than any other website!
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 

Overall Rating

Awesome: 23.73%
Worth A Look: 18.64%
Average: 10.17%
Pretty Bad25.42%
Total Crap: 22.03%

2 reviews, 47 user ratings

Latest Reviews

Extra Ordinary by Jay Seaver

Daniel Isn't Real by Jay Seaver

Midsommar by Rob Gonsalves

Blood on Her Name by Jay Seaver

Parasite (2019) by Peter Sobczynski

American Fighter by Jay Seaver

Moon in the Hidden Woods, The by Jay Seaver

Homewrecker (2019) by Jay Seaver

Gemini Man by Jay Seaver

Pain and Glory by Peter Sobczynski

subscribe to this feed

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
[] Buy posters from this movie
by EricDSnider

"Lindsay's confession: I was in this crappy, crappy teen movie!"
2 stars

Disney's latest hot commodity, the young actress Lindsay Lohan, got good notices for "The Parent Trap" remake and last year's delightful "Freaky Friday" remake. She's being made to pay her dues, though, with "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen," an insufferable quasi-comedy that will one day be nothing more than a blip on her otherwise respectable resume.

Based on a young-adult novel by Dyan Shelden, "Confessions" is about a 15-year-old Manhattanite named Mary (Lohan), though she prefers to go by Lola. Lola is indeed a drama queen, melodramatic in the extreme, always vying to be the center of attention, forever dressed in unusual outfits. She is either devastatingly insecure or stunningly over-confident, but the examination of such deep psychological questions is not on this movie's agenda.

Lola's life is thrown into turmoil when her artist mother (Glenne Headly), for undisclosed reasons, moves the family to the affluent suburb of Dellwood, N.J. Here Lola runs the gauntlet of high school clichés: Her only new friend is an unpopular girl, Ella (Alison Pill), and they are tormented by a trio of bitchy girls, led by pretty Carla Santini (Megan Fox).

(It's been a while since I was 15, and I was never a teenage girl, but is it true that snotty girls always travel in threes, two of whom never speak but only look snide and laugh at their leader's comments? And do they always make it a point to harass the new girl on her very first day? How do they know someone new has arrived? Do they get notices from the registrar's office?)

Anyway, Lola sees the upcoming school play as a chance to establish herself as the rightful Center Of The Universe, so she auditions. It's Shaw's "Pygmalion," but the dowdy director, Miss Baggoli (Carol Kane, loopy as always), has decided to update it and put original songs in it. Leave it to this movie to suggest a musical version of "Pygmalion" without acknowledging that such a thing has already been done, and that it was called "My Fair Lady." Why don't they just do "My Fair Lady"?

Anyway, she gets the Eliza role. You'd think that would be what the movie is about, but no! The movie has decided to forgo a traditional "plot" and instead present a random sequence of events. So Lola and Ella get very excited about an upcoming rock concert in Manhattan, and they will simply DIE if they don't go, and Carla somehow got tickets to the after-party (don't ask me how, considering it will be chock-full of booze and Carla is only 15), which means Lola and Ella simply HAVE to go to the party, too, and so on and so on.

The curious thing about the film, directed by Sara Sugarman and adapted by TV scribe Gail Parent, is that even at less than an hour and a half, it still feels absurdly padded. The story is minimal, and so is the character development, leaving plenty of time for irrelevant tangents and montages. There is Lola's strange association with cute boy Sam (Eli Marienthal), who becomes her boyfriend without us realizing it, and a lot of clunky, awkward comedy involving the "Pygmalion" production.

If there is a likable character in the bunch, it's Ella, Lola's nervous, uptight friend, who endears herself to us with a minimum of histrionics and a smattering of intelligence. Lola, on the other hand, is too flighty and dramatic to be tolerated, and the "lessons" she learns over the course of the film are both obvious and minor. It's a slice-of-life movie about a character who barely resembles anything in life, making it an exercise in futility to try to slice it.

Will the target audience of teenage girls like it? Maybe. The audience I saw it with was packed with them, and while they laughed occasionally, I can't honestly say it appeared to be a big hit. But who knows, maybe they were enjoying it quietly while I was disliking it less quietly.

link directly to this review at
originally posted: 08/08/05 16:51:52
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

11/04/09 a random girl this movie should not have an 'awesome' rating 2 stars
8/19/09 oatsy im doin it for my english assignent 5 stars
1/29/09 mahiii ca movies osm espcly the sond dat grl 5 stars
11/30/08 kirsten I like it a lot who could you say that 4 stars
7/06/08 art ONLY FOR LINDSAY LOHAN FAN"S 2 stars
3/21/08 Ashley I really like the movie, it is so much fun for teenagers 4 stars
10/22/07 Beau enjoyable movie, it was interesting to see the characters evolve! lindsay's a fine actress 4 stars
4/15/06 Joe Schmoe That was a really good movie 3 stars
4/02/06 JRE stupid chick flick with horrible plot and sucky acting 1 stars
8/28/05 Carolyn Rathburn can a movie be sillier and still make a point, well it did 4 stars
8/14/05 Charlene Javier A snoozer! 1 stars
6/27/05 dan lohan is hot but movie was decent 4 stars
3/05/05 CarolAnn Edwards I love the movie 5 stars
2/04/05 ashly i didn't like how there was cartoons 4 stars
9/02/04 Roy Again Notice everyone who liked it = girl. Never even finished it. 1 stars
8/08/04 Sarah Highhouse I liked it alot.. 5 stars
8/03/04 becky good 5 stars
7/31/04 crystal ross it was so cool! 5 stars
7/22/04 hannah it was really stupid but i liked the songs 2 stars
7/21/04 Valerie Didn't have much of a plot, and the plot it did have was stupid. I was dissapointed. 2 stars
7/17/04 Joe An awful movie that reeks of shallowness and stupidity, Ah The Accident Of Birth 1 stars
6/19/04 gladys adie awsome! 5 stars
6/17/04 jane it was a great film 4 stars
5/25/04 wendy really good movie 5 stars
5/18/04 roxygurl The movie so rocks!!!!!!!!! its so nice i cant believe you guys! 5 stars
5/18/04 MaHotmail Gandhi A MUST for Lindsay Lohan fans; for others, indication she MUST do better next time. 3 stars
5/07/04 11-year-old Lindsay Lohan fan Lyndsay Lohan could be sexy taking a dump. Too bad she did this tom foolery instead. 2 stars
5/06/04 LeAnn Cantrell (not to fret; relling is overrated) Yep, if this is any indication, Lindsay Lohan should stick with remakes. SILLY story. 3 stars
4/17/04 Candace Percival I hope PARENT TRAP and FREAKY FRIDAY were better signs of what Lohan is capable of. 2 stars
4/14/04 May Q. Horney OK comedy/drama if you don't mind drama being quite light and comedy quite stupid. 3 stars
4/11/04 Ana The movie was good but I can't say thst it was great, but the book is better! 4 stars
3/28/04 me myself & i it was good i like Linsey Lohan too so not bad 4 stars
3/26/04 Amy A cute movie, but Lindsay could snag better roles 3 stars
3/23/04 boobilina it was awsume a total sexy chic flick i luv lindsey and who ever didn't like it sucks man!! 5 stars
3/19/04 Nicole oh man this movie was so dumb.Lindsey is such a bad actress now you want a good 1 stars
3/18/04 rachel burke stay home 1 stars
3/18/04 MADDY I really did not understand the beggining. And what ever happened to those twin sissters? 3 stars
3/11/04 gabi it was a very good movie 4 stars
3/09/04 Daniely its so cool 5 stars
3/06/04 l Awsome 5 stars
3/03/04 Bobbie Jane this is a really bad movie 1 stars
3/02/04 sara frenginhochks the movie was terrible but Eli Marienthal was really hot!!! 2 stars
2/25/04 Becky I thought this movie was great the boys were really cute and Linsay Lohan did a great job. 5 stars
2/25/04 Punam It was a good movie, well it was better than what I expected it would be like. 4 stars
2/24/04 Mary good 5 stars
2/21/04 Ray This is very shitie 2 stars
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:

Discuss this movie in our forum

  20-Feb-2004 (PG)
  DVD: 20-Jul-2004



Directed by
  Sara Sugarman

Written by
  Gail Parent

  Lindsay Lohan
  Adam Garcia
  Glenne Headly
  Carol Kane
  Alison Pill
  Megan Fox

Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About Australia's Largest Movie Review Database.
Privacy Policy | HBS Inc. | |   

All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast