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Overall Rating

Awesome: 8.37%
Worth A Look: 8.37%
Average: 7.11%
Pretty Bad: 17.99%
Total Crap58.16%

11 reviews, 173 user ratings

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Godzilla (1998)
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by MP Bartley

"For those whose brains weren't sufficiently insulted by 'Independence Day'"
2 stars

I suspect that this years forthcoming release of Peter Jackson's 'King Kong' will make Roland Emmerich blush and shuffle his shoes guiltily. Because you would think that making a film about a huge, semi-mystical creature rampaging through a city would be pretty hard to mess up, wouldn't you? Proving that Emmerich can always be relied upon to pull it out of the bag when you least want him to.

So, 'Godzilla' then. A titanic, fire breathing lizard attacks New York. Where could it go wrong? After all, Emmmerich displays his skill at crafting intriguing openings again here. Scientists realising that they're stood in a huge claw-print left by Godzilla, the survivors of an attacked boat crying out in a delerium, a neat 'Jaws' riff with two fisherman...great stuff. If only Emmerich could have called someone in to finish his movies off for him.

He also makes the mistake of not even considering his casting. Okay, they may have been lumbered with a terrible script in 'Independence Day' but at least Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum have some sort of compelling chutzpah and charisma to them, to alleviate the pain. But here, you have Jean Reno providing the laziest, smuggest turn as a Frenchman ever (and you would think he would know better seeing as he's, er, French) who knows a lot about Godzilla (because Godzilla is a famous French creation isn't he?). You also have Matthew Broderick, forever known as Ferris Bueller who never did anything of note ever again. If he wasn't married to the horse from 'Sex and the City' no-one would even know who he was now. Actually, people still don't know who he is now, but, hey, at least he gets to go to premieres and fashion shows with SJP.

You have Hank Azaria prostituting himself for an easy pay-cheque, and then there's Maria Pittilio as the romantic lead. Pittilo, who is hewn from the same wood that constructed a thousand bedside cabinets. A quick scan at imdb reveals that after 'Godzilla' she's made the grand total of...three films. I haven't heard of any of them, and neither will you. Maria, if you're reading...there's a reason for this. Just think about it.

But of course, no-one is watching 'Godzilla' to see who they'd pick to play Inspector Gadget, we're watching to see a huge, fire breathing lizard, create some HAVOC! And, oh my, how Emmerich messed it up. Firstly, as any decent director will tell you, the point of a creature feature (for want of a better term) is to engender sympathy for the creature, be it King Kong, Frankenstein's monster or the wolf man. So when they meet their inevitable, sticky end, the audience is torn into having ironic feelings about it: "Oh, I feel sorry for this poor creature who may have maimed and killed several people, but never wanted to be brought here anyway". What you do not do, Roland, is turn it into a pointless, CGI money shot. And while any casual film fan can probably instantly recall what the Japanese Godzilla looks like, can anyone actually recall what Emmerich's version looks like?

No? Exactly. Probably because Emmerich has no idea of how to create such a creature. So, one minute he's rampaging through the city, the next he's, er, hiding and, umm, no-one can find him. That's right, Godzilla hides and no-one can work out where. Just let the utter stupidity of that sentence sink in and work its magic on you.

So while you may think that a fight between Godzilla and a fleet of helicopters would be something to savour, it's ruined with dingy cinematography, bad CGI and a clear lack of vision of what Godzilla should even friggin' look like.

Instead, Emnmerich floods the screen with bad, goofy slapstick humour, that drains the last remnants of suspense or atmosphere that the film may have had in the first place. We get a painful sequence of baby Godzillas that looks like a bad audition for the then yet-to-be-directed 'Jurassic Park 3'.

So if you'd told me that a climax, featuring Godzilla chasing a tazi through the streets and grabbing it in his jaws would have bored me senseless, I'd have called you a liar and challenged you to a duel. But, no, you'd be right, and I apologise profusely.

Ultimately, 'Godzilla' is a lesson to be learnt. Not to spend money on crappy Emmerich films ever again? No, silly, like most of their creations just let the Japanese do it and let's not try to rip them off. After all, they know best.

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originally posted: 11/11/05 23:01:07
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User Comments

5/16/18 brian Does it get more by-the-numbers than this? Please say "No." 2 stars
3/13/17 morris campbell trash one on the worst movies EVER! 1 stars
4/05/13 The Big D Stink, Stank, Stunk, and in case you missed it, PEE-EEE-YEW, was it BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
9/21/12 Kcaj To this day i enjoy watching it. Dunno why everyone hates it so much 4 stars
5/15/11 stephen nettles Eh 3 stars
12/19/10 Jeff Wilder A big budget pile of....nothing. 2 stars
11/06/10 Sugarfoot I love Godzilla movies and therefore I refuse to even acknowledge this turd 1 stars
12/15/09 Cody absolutely the worst movie i have ever seen. saw it on cable and i still walked out on it! 1 stars
11/16/09 Reality Of Films This movie is really good. It is funny and exciting. But the monster looks a bit stupid. 5 stars
10/11/09 matt godzilla ran scared everytime someone threw so much as a pebble at it..PATHETIC! 1 stars
4/04/09 Dane Youssef An insult to the whole genre. Stupid, boring. Badly acted & written. FX are laughably bad. 1 stars
1/07/09 the dork knight we're supposed tor oot for these dumb fucktards trying to kill Godzilla? 1 stars
12/09/08 Troy Few okay scenes, but bad. Weak, vulnerable Godzilla. What were they thinking? 2 stars
11/24/08 Craig D. I've heard some people try to defend it, but it's indefensible. A horrible monster movie. 1 stars
8/19/08 Shaun Wallner This movie has some great scenes in it. 5 stars
7/27/08 The Dork Knight Crafted to sell action figures and make children laugh. 1 stars
2/04/08 Pamela White something to watch when you have the flu 4 stars
11/20/07 David Cohen Bad career move for the big guy 2 stars
8/27/07 HateZillaHaters This movie Rocked,Small soldiers and Dreamworks can suck balls,since thats s.soldiers did! 5 stars
7/09/07 Max A sloppy mess of a film. 1 stars
7/02/07 Grace I LOVE IT!! 4 stars
6/14/07 Vincent Ebriega Save it for Godzilla (to step on). 2.5/5. 2 stars
6/03/07 education loan consolidation bad debt consolidation loan do it yourself debt settlement 4 stars
6/02/07 home insurance hartford mobile home insurance companies new jersey home owner insurance 1 stars
4/23/07 David Risser Good movie, but not a great one 3 stars
4/18/07 Stevo UK By getting rid of the cheesiness that made the old films special, this will flop badly. 2 stars
3/19/07 Austin Wertman I LIKED IT, BUT ONLY CAUSE OF THE SPECIAL FX 4 stars
2/16/07 Vip Ebriega Terrific monster of a hit. 4 stars
1/28/07 action movie fan critics hated it i loved it!!! this best film of 1998-shakespear in love is dull 5 stars
12/08/06 Stanley Thai A very entertaining disaster flick. Underrated.... 4 stars
11/03/06 Hauzy As Godzilla it sucked, as a Giant mutant movie it was enjoyable 3 stars
10/19/06 David Pollastrini HORRIBLE, ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE 1 stars
10/02/06 Jeremy Davies Decent movie, beaten to the punch by Jurrasic Park 4 stars
8/10/06 Dragon The Artist Can't replace the good ol' fashioned corny old Godzillas,but this "Godjeera!"was LAME!! 1 stars
7/12/06 Matthew Sutton This movie is Good george, but you suck pussy 5 stars
6/29/06 George Leave this movie alone! It's better than the 1954 boring piece of shit!!! 4 stars
6/28/06 joe koski love it 5 stars
4/22/06 Jack A very worth while movie. 7\10 4 stars
3/09/06 Dk I enjoyed it and so did everyone who watched with me 4 stars
2/06/06 Anthony Feor For a remake its actually pretty good 3 stars
12/22/05 cody a ok monster flick but this classic monster needs be lay rest, ok visual effects lame story 2 stars
11/29/05 Ming It was better than I expected, though nowhere near the brilliance of ID4 and Stargate. 3 stars
11/18/05 Jabber This movie is poop on a stick. 1 stars
11/12/05 George Jobson Stop fuckin smashin this film you sound like assholes 5 stars
11/07/05 LP Quagmire This is the way Godzilla was meant to be; I can't recommend it enough. 5 stars
10/07/05 Carolyn Rathburn I like monster movies, I enjoyed it 4 stars
9/21/05 Eric Fortune Terrible. I can't believe my friend made me go see this crap. 1 stars
9/05/05 Daryl Walker This movie, for the lack of a better word, sucks. 1 stars
8/18/05 ES I've seen worse, but the mini godzilla scene screams J-Park rip-off 3 stars
7/04/05 Steven Brady This Godzilla film rocks 5 stars
7/01/05 darick Ugh...overhyped s***. You're sure to have a dissappointing experience. 1 stars
6/25/05 tony Very good effects and setting. A good movie. suggest renting it. 4 stars
6/07/05 Mark Radburn Critics are lame people who slam this film are lame, That is Godzilla you know 5 stars
4/01/05 Luke BlackAdder That is GODZILLA it has his spirits, Godzilla is #1 5 stars
3/30/05 Tyrantis Would have been good if GODZILLA was actually in it! 1 stars
3/13/05 G-Man awesome 5 stars
2/11/05 Jeff Anderson Man, this was one stupid film! This so-called GODZILLA wasn't very menacing AT ALL! LAME!!! 1 stars
1/13/05 Tom Benton Predictably weak American remake, which can't even be saved by Jean Reno's small role. 2 stars
11/20/04 Mark A Huge Awesome Dragon-like Dinosaur 5 stars
10/15/04 david whoever reads this is a gay fagget eugene 5 stars
9/25/04 Lourdes I'd have sex with that fine piece of lizard 5 stars
9/14/04 Cracked head Godzilla as a gay, green, shrinking chicken. 1 stars
8/06/04 Pat Piece of crud "remake" of a great film. 2 stars
7/27/04 DM I would rather crush my glasses and shove the shards into my eyes than watch this again 1 stars
7/17/04 raj india 4 stars
7/08/04 wildcarde1 Godzilla is cool even when its bad 4 stars
7/06/04 Spiderfan720 I should be shot for ASKING my cousin to watch it with me. Why ruin two of us??? 1 stars
7/06/04 tyger,tyger its not a great movie but its worth checking out guys 4 stars
7/06/04 Talonsoft its not Gojira no, but it has its own charms 4 stars
6/16/04 franknutz why why why why why why why why god why 1 stars
5/30/04 Frazier Bad acting, but entertaining, worth a look see 4 stars
5/15/04 Read it, Seen it, Done it We all laughed when the first Godzilla came out with the crappy effects, then this was made 1 stars
4/13/04 Mr X Do yourself a favor and watch the old Japaneese versions 1 stars
2/10/04 Whatevr WHAT A BIG FAT WASTE OF MY TIME! 1 stars
1/18/04 Phisto Not great. Not good. Not...ah, God, it just plain blew, 1 stars
11/27/03 John a Godzilla movie without a Godzilla? this is it! 1 stars
11/09/03 I Would Oh God. How could so much money go into something so inane? 1 stars
8/09/03 Will Green I've voted for total crap, as this film is totaly crap. 'tis shit. It mmmboooores me 1 stars
7/17/03 kick ya i never thought i movie could be this bad? But Roland Emmerich has made this possible. 1 stars
7/17/03 MadMatt Anyone involved in this movie (making it / enjoying it) should be locked-up!! SERIOUSLY!!! 1 stars
7/13/03 Morpheus So bad, it's not even funny. 1 stars
6/09/03 Christian Harding Holy Crap! This is SOO not Godzilla. Now everyone thinks this mo'fo is. 2 stars
4/04/03 Jack Sommersby A prime xample of a creatively bankrupt big-budget Hollywood production. 1 stars
4/01/03 Godzillafan54 Sucked beyond all believe- what the hell were they thinkin changin godzillas look and fire 1 stars
10/17/02 Charles Tatum Gimme this over a guy in a rubber suit any old day 5 stars
7/21/02 Croweater This REALLY sucked...why do baby godzillas behave and look like raptors?A lame ass rip off 1 stars
5/22/02 Monster W. Kung I'll bash this movie to death and then some. 1 stars
3/28/02 NeuroManson This genital wart of a film is an insult to nice genital warts everywhere!!! 1 stars
1/05/02 Magnum Craphole How did this script ever get funded? A prime example of current Hollywood idiocy. 1 stars
12/30/01 Cracked head Even worse than Independence Day, if that's possible. 1 stars
12/09/01 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Better looking strong, lost weight, digs through rock & Rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
11/22/01 Cookie Cutter Crap, pure and simple. Emmerich is a no-talent dingbat. 1 stars
11/15/01 D'Morph This movie is full of dire cliches. Insults every movie goers intelligence 1 stars
11/13/01 Tam Silly monster-munch action with no plot & bad dialogue. Curly-haired girl is pretty though. 2 stars
10/30/01 mr. Pink Come on! It isnīt good, but it ainīt that bad. 2 stars
9/11/01 Fred The worst movie Period! I had never on my own walked out of a movie like that before. 1 stars
9/08/01 Chvad SB Pure fucking bullshit. Even the worst TOHO version is light years past this drek. 1 stars
9/04/01 Shawn Movie needed a better script, but as a computer graphic artist, 2 thumbs up. 4 stars
8/09/01 E-Funk Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin suffer from penis envy. 1 stars
7/31/01 Josh Tybur On my five worst films list 1 stars
7/27/01 Crisis Management An unbelievable piece of trash. No story, and the CGI fx are some of the worst ever seen. 1 stars
7/12/01 salvo I've seen shit worse tnan this 3 stars
7/11/01 Fish Eye I like the part where they RIP OFF Jurassic Park with the MSG baby godzilla scene 2 stars
7/09/01 Caligula so moronic you can see its stupidity coming outta the screen and damage your brain 1 stars
7/03/01 taj Textbook Hollywood Shitcake with all the trimmings. An affront to brain cells. 1 stars
7/03/01 Boomshanka Really really bad. Just awful. Effects over substance. Write a script! 1 stars
5/03/01 Dom Corleone worst movie ever 1 stars
4/21/01 Monster W. Kung I firmly believe a retarded 5 years old kid must have written the laughable script. 1 stars
3/23/01 TNT-6 Look, I love a lot of the "monsters" movie. This one blows donkeys. 1 stars
3/12/01 Terrie Smith Special effects are OK; dumb dialogue & bad acting (Maria Pilillo) say otherwise. 2 stars
2/15/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi I saw it on cable and I felt ripped off. 1 stars
2/01/01 BASSee excuse me, usher, can i have my money back? 1 stars
1/31/01 Big Isil As a fellow native, New York is NOT this stupid of a city. And why is it always cloudy? 1 stars
12/28/00 Turtle This is definitely the best Godzilla movie. Great effects and great action! 5 stars
11/28/00 Cristopher Revilla dammit i meant that it sucked ass 1 stars
11/15/00 The EVIL Penguin Emmerich's worst ever 2 stars
9/06/00 John Lindsey GOOD LORD!, i think ID4 and Stargate were better than this Toxic Dump. 1 stars
7/16/00 Purple Monster I'd rather see the man in the rubber suit rampaging thru the cardboard buildings !!! 2 stars
5/31/00 danilo Pretty Bad - but more enjoyable than Armageddon 2 stars
4/26/00 XXX What have you been smoking, David Rogers? This movie SUCKS! 1 stars
3/19/00 Richard Wright Size may matter, but so does plot and character. Obviously this crap didn't realise this. 1 stars
2/29/00 Bozo Worse than a trip to the dentist or lunch w/other users on this site 1 stars
2/06/00 Kyle Broflovski Fuck plot. Fuck the lizard. Let's just knock down a city. 2 stars
1/21/00 Jedi15 Wowsers, that movie sucked so much cock! Makes the dubbed ones look like classics! 1 stars
1/10/00 John Markham Torture from beginning to end, like a Cliff Richard song. 1 stars
11/04/99 Mickey "Father Death" MacJohnstmyster Remember that massive pile of shit in Jurassic Park ,imagine watching that for over 2 hours 1 stars
10/20/99 Lame-Oh Lame ass movie (along w/ Titanic and Spiceworld: The Movie) 1 stars
8/19/99 Matthew Bartley Drinking dog snot is marginally better 1 stars
7/24/99 Hagbard Celine Even the effects were lame. An expensive mass of drivel. 2 stars
7/07/99 Ben Leostein Rating: ** (out of ****) Category: "Average" 3 stars
7/04/99 J-Dogg This piece of SHIT is #1 on my all time SHIT LIST. (Along w/ "Independence Day") 1 stars
6/15/99 Dylan Plot DOES matter! Fucking shit. 1 stars
5/02/99 Mindy It had no redeeming qualities 1 stars
4/28/99 ShitPiledHigh Pile of shit as tall as Godzilla - the taxi scene says it all! 1 stars
3/10/99 Ah Dooey I like Johny's 4th title: Big Green Monster Equals Dollars 1 stars
3/09/99 Go Swans I got my money's worth. It was the funniest film of the year. 1 stars
1/20/99 To The Point. Fucking terrible. 1 stars
12/28/98 Cage Not great, but anyone who says they 'HATE' this is simply saving face. 4 stars
12/28/98 Lucy B. About all this film has in common with the original is the name of the creature & its cry! 1 stars
12/26/98 Schizofrenic Not bad but not good. The classic versions were amazing. 1 stars
11/26/98 Mr.Pink Not a piece of fuckin'shit as some friends of mine said, but also certainly not good either 2 stars
11/24/98 Fred Dean Devlin should never work in film again! How can you fuck up a Godzilla movie!?! 1 stars
11/17/98 Jules I swear to cod I fell asleep after 20 minutes 1 stars
11/02/98 Darkhero1 Entertaining and overall a fun trip to the theater. No Oscars here and proud. 5 stars
10/29/98 Silent Rob With a legacy of 20 other films to go on, it should've been at least Average. 1 stars
10/20/98 Kwyjibo What a total rip off. It's like they wrote the screenplay in a day. 1 stars
10/01/98 Flea Bitten Nut My name describes this movie. Totally. 1 stars
9/29/98 katherine i went to see thid thinking it would be good. it was such crap! i fell asleep! no joke! 1 stars
9/23/98 Marcy I've never seen such a shitty movie before, it's not even interesting! 1 stars
9/18/98 Godzilla I want my name taken off that movie!!!! 1 stars
9/17/98 MR HOLLYWOOD ! Fucked up script,Good FX and Mad Puff Daddy song. C'mon its not that bad,ITS A MOVIE !! 3 stars
9/16/98 Trav You know, this ain't all that bad once you start liking the French dude (doh!) 3 stars
9/15/98 Negative Creep fun to watch if you pretend Its ferris VS. Godzilla and rewrite the film as you go along 1 stars
9/14/98 Chip Taylor Good effects. Bad script. Doesn't add up to much. Except crap. 3 stars
9/13/98 Ultraman It sucks Big time.Can you say rip-off of 20,000 fathams 1 stars
9/12/98 Bart Barton waste of time and money 1 stars
9/07/98 Damien this movie sucked huge, sweaty, skanky, pimpled,hairy,cumsoaked gorilla balls, the worst! 1 stars
9/06/98 BBReBozo I couldn't watch the movie because of the stupid fucking Mexicans chattering behind me! 1 stars
9/06/98 Kid Pee-Pee Utter poison. Capitalism of Hollywood at it's utter worst. SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! 1 stars
9/05/98 Debzilla Fun movie 5 stars
9/04/98 Badass PIECE OF SHIT! Emmerich and Devlin are the shittiest FX filmakers around. THEY SUCK!!!!!!!! 1 stars
9/03/98 The Patriot What crap. Total shit. 1 stars
8/30/98 {{{OZ}}} Oh, Broderick. You stink. Pitillo is awful. Ban this from video. 1 stars
8/30/98 Matt I almost resorted to heckling to try and get my money's worth 1 stars
8/27/98 Chuck-D bad bad bad bad, bad, bad bad , and uh, oh yeah: bad 1 stars
8/25/98 Miss Stress That was sposed to be Godzilla? looked more like a gremlin and a t-rex had a baby! 2 stars
8/24/98 The Capital City Goofball Everyone disses this film out. You know why? IT STANK UP THE JOINT! 2 stars
8/23/98 Dutch Devlin and Emmerich have obviously been shacking up with Akiva Goldsman. 2 stars
8/23/98 Mister Whoopee I give it an extra star for the coming out of the water scene. Otherwise a letdown. 2 stars
8/16/98 J-Guy hunk of shit. godzilla is a fuckerhead. 1 stars
8/16/98 Johny Who's idea was it to let the script be a kindergarden class project? 1 stars
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  20-May-1998 (PG-13)
  DVD: 28-Mar-2006

  17-Jul-1998 (PG)

  11-Jun-1998 (PG)

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