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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 8.51%
Average: 12.77%
Pretty Bad: 2.13%
Total Crap: 6.38%

2 reviews, 35 user ratings

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Never Been Thawed
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by Scott Weinberg

"A great, goofy little comedy for the Geek in all of us."
5 stars

Collectors. Enthusiasts. Fanboys. Dorks. Call us what you will, but lord knows we can at least laugh at ourselves. Yes, I freely admit to being a Movie Geek. And although I don't collect items like many hardcore "enthusiasts" do, I can see enough of myself in parodies like 'Never Been Thawed' to tell me that these filmmakers know their geekdom, and know it well. Consequently, 'Never Been Thawed' is a fantastic little mockumentary, and a movie it was an absolute joy to 'discover'.

Shawn Anderson is the founder of the Mesa Frozen Entree Enthusiasts Club. And no, Shawn's not the only member. This is a group comprised of amazing dorks, each of whom await the new Swanson releases as if they were waiting in line for the newest Star Wars action figures. That these idiots would actually collect frozen entrees and also congregate to discuss their ridiculous kind of the point of the parody. Never Been Thawed is a knowing poke in the chops to every sort of obsessive under the sun, be their addiction Star Trek, comic books, Lord of the Rings or hardcore pornography.

The fun is more in the collecting than in the item, I suppose, and Never Been Thawed nails its targets with hilarious accuracy. Watch as Shawn reveals his one-bedroom apartment - which is populated by the eight stand-alone freezers needed to keep his prized collection ever-frozen. These dorks toss around the term "NBT" as a badge of honor, as only the permanently frozen items are worthy of adulation. They Oooh and Aaah over the new Banquet line, they snipe and gripe over packaging designs, they tentatively start to organize their own Frozen Entree Convention...with amusingly inept results.

Over-devoted fanboyism might seem a flimsy premise on which to hang an entire feature; director Sean Anders solves this problem by delivering a handful of clever plot divergences and about a dozen well-constructed (and exceedinly well-realized) characters. Plus there's a healthy dosage of raunch-laden gags of the shock-value variety; fortunately they're consistently very funny and Anders keeps a crafty balance between satire and slapstick. The 'quietly amusing' gags are punctuated by a barrage of profanity or something equally outlandish, resulting in a flick that's funny on a variety of levels. Pretty impressive.

Just when the main plot needs a break we're introduced to Frozen Food Enthusiast / Abstinence Counsellor Shelly Toue, a meek and mild woman who adores Shawn and spends her hours working on the Frozen Entrees Website. Then we get Frozen Food Enthusiast / Ex-Homosexual Fireman Scott Baxter, a character who had me laughing at about 90% of his appearances. The harsh and obscenely bizarre icing on the cake comes in the form of Chris, who is Shawn's deaf and earth-shatteringly vulgar little brother. I needed my remote for the 'rewind' experience thanks to Chris.

Oh, and there's a subplot involving Christian Rockers that must be seen to be believed. Inspired comedy material here...

If I were to label Never Been Thawed as joyously non-PC, then it's meant as a big compliment. But more important than its brazen and ballsy material is the simple fact that the schtick is funny. Never underestimate the power of good material, and budget (or lack thereof) be damned.

Never Been Thawed is a great little no-budget indie comedy, the sort of flick that should be met with knowing peals of appreciative laughter at every film festival it will inevitably visit. Eventually a DVD distributor will give NBT a shot, and I bet they'll be pleasantly surprised by the results. At the very least, Never Been Thawed marks the arrival of a few VERY funny young filmmakers, and ones that should inevitably find a lot of new fans once this inspired little farce hits the circuit.

Everyone reading this review is either a Geek or a good friend of what could be considered a Geek. Either way you'll find big laughs here. Movies like this put the big-budget nine-screenwriters studio-comedy crap to shame.

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originally posted: 03/30/04 17:34:50
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User Comments

6/16/06 Molly Yocum Hilarious! 5 stars
4/20/06 A Holle PAINFUL! Should have gone for 10 seconds and finished. - 100% Pure Crap! 1 stars
2/14/06 kyle the movie is extremely funny. i swas it twice and picked on more humor the second time! 5 stars
11/08/05 David Jackemeyer Left after 30 minutes. About as funny as watching an old man get kicked in the crotch. 1 stars
9/27/05 Dennis Funny as hell 5 stars
7/09/05 Derek This movie could not suck more balls!! BAD EDITING!!!! 1 stars
7/04/05 Hal G Great movie, 4 star mockumentory 5 stars
5/23/05 Juan Valdez Funniest movie I have ever seen!!!! I give it 5 RUSTY TROMBONES!! 5 stars
5/20/05 curtisM if you don't laugh you're probably just an ahole 5 stars
4/28/05 Steve One of the funniest movies I have seen in years. 5 stars
4/17/05 Gareth H Not for everyone, but everyone knows someone like what this movie is about. 5 stars
4/04/05 Eric What going to the movies is all about - having a good time and laughing your ass off. Great 5 stars
3/31/05 Dave Oldershaw So funny had to watch it a few times to catch all the hidden jokes. Awesome! 5 stars
3/30/05 G. Walker Bush Loved it! 5 stars
3/29/05 Chris One of those films you'll be sorry to have not been the first to see. Clever. VERY FUNNY. 5 stars
3/14/05 Patrick Gordon Still laughing 5 stars
3/13/05 Tim S. Friggin weak-ass movie that makes fun of Christainity. Check out "Crackass: The Movie" nstd 2 stars
10/18/04 Dan funny, fun, well-done 4 stars
10/04/04 Amanda Jacobellis Funniest Film I have ever seen! 5 stars
9/05/04 kevin dunn best movie ever! the christers rule! 5 stars
8/10/04 Phillip Lodge My sister & I watched this film & were truly impressed by this mockumentary. 4 stars
4/10/04 Mark K. Great off the wall humor and attention to detail! 5 stars
4/06/04 L. Alford This film was was great! 4 stars
4/03/04 Marianne extremely funny and original, background graphics added to the humour, easy to watch again 5 stars
4/02/04 Alana Brunacini It was excellent beyond all words in the English vernacular 5 stars
4/01/04 Steve Beeghley I was skeptical -- but laughed throughout. I'm sure I missed alot of jokes too. 5 stars
4/01/04 pete martin awesome 5 stars
4/01/04 Marque Cohen be sure to bring a might pee yourself laughing. 5 stars
3/31/04 susie Chris rules!! 5 stars
3/31/04 Julie Rice Great movie; eclectic and fun! 5 stars
3/31/04 Christian Cutting edge -- Very original humor and plot -- Can't wait for the re-release! 5 stars
3/31/04 Mike One of the funniest movies of the year! Scott Isham is fantastic!! 5 stars
3/31/04 Kat Can't remember the last time I laughed out loud like this in a movie! Hilarious! 5 stars
3/31/04 Deanna I thought it was hilarious! Could not stop laughing or talking about.... 4 stars
3/31/04 Evan Astrowsky Ass-kicking comedy! 5 stars
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