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Overall Rating

Awesome: 16.67%
Worth A Look: 33.33%
Average: 5.56%
Pretty Bad44.44%
Total Crap: 0%

1 review, 12 user ratings

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Love, Sex and Eating the Bones
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by Chris Parry

"An urban black romantic comedy... set in Toronto?"
2 stars

Gotta give it to the Canadian film industry, they're at least trying to catch up in the genre game. Genre films make a lot of money in the US, and traditionally Canadian films have been slapped firmly into the genre of "quirky", rather than action, thriller, horror or comedy. Love, Sex and Eating the Bones is a step outside that box, but that step isn't necessarily in a forward direction.

Michael (Hill Harper) loves his porn. In fact, he loves it to a ridiculous extent, having become known as the best customer of Pornucopia, an adult film store. Michael has his favorite directors, he has a colelction that would rival the Smithsonian (if the Smithsonian indulged in preserving titles such as Anal Reamers 3), and when he's not watching the stuff, he's dreaming about it. When Michael isn't jerking off, he's working at his job as a security guard, and wishing he could make a little money with his true passion - photography.

Michael soon meets Jasmine (Marlyne Afflack), a depressed female executive who hasn't been laid in quite some time, and the two promptly hit it off, as you'd expect they would. The only problem is, Jasmine's cousin and roommate works at Pornucopia, and she knows full well what a freakboy Michael is.

Cue the usual urban comedy hijinks.

"Cut a brother a break, man!" "That girl, she's all up ins!" - Did I mention this thing is set in Toronto?

I really don't take pleasure in beating on a small Canadian film, especially at a time when so few small Canadian films get screen time in their home country. But this small Canadian film is lame.

Hill Harper is only okay in the lead role, having earned his wings on films like The Skulls and He Got Game, and newcomer Marlyne Afflack isn't a whole lot better. But neither of them are helped by a screenplay that takes easy options, fixes every problem within seconds, and seems to stretch no further than the level of your average urban straight to video yawn.

The real problem here is that this script just wasn't in any way ready for prime time, and that seems to be a-okay by those who made it. Writer/director David Sutherland had spent a few years making shorts and seemed to be in a hurry to get his first feature produced, so much so that simple things that could have made his film far more important were missed altogether. Sure, there's a little humor, but only a little. Sure, there's some nudity to keep the boys happy, but only a little. And sure, the female lead is attractive, but...

Anyway, the moral here is supposed to be that while porn is fun, it's just fantasy and nowhere near as important as true love, but I have the feeling that even people who rank "Big Trouble in Little Poophole" as their favorite movie wouldn't be surprised by that little newsflash.

The keyword here is 'unimportant'. Not that every film released has to be important, but they should at least try to be worth the ticket price. Love, Sex and Eating the Bones just isn't.

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originally posted: 04/16/04 06:27:12
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User Comments

10/17/17 Alrah_S Popping in 13 years too late to say: I hope you're not a damn hater anymore. 5 stars
2/18/06 okierazorbacker When the couple is in focus, it sizzles; otherwise lame. 3 stars
8/28/05 C. John Much better than reviewer states. Story is more original than most Hollywood fare. 4 stars
6/17/05 Cleome Jean-Baptiste This is a great movie and I would like to say a big congratulation to the entire staff. 5 stars
5/25/05 norris wayne I enjoyed it, filled a void with the genuine love story, fell in love with marlynne!. 4 stars
3/17/05 Landshark Finally, a *non-hiphop* urban black romance! Perfect for YFBs (young, fabulous blacks) 5 stars
1/17/05 brother Only redeeming quality is Jazz's beauty 2 stars
11/18/04 Berlioz Schoemperlen Disappointing. Played like a made-for-tv movie that tries much too hard. 2 stars
10/14/04 Tacha D I love Jasmine role. 4 stars
10/14/04 Jean Kennedy Demsothene it is a very nice movie and I think Jasmine was very nice and she is a very pretty woman. 4 stars
7/26/04 JC Very humorous, entertaining, and interesting ... good love story... definitely worth seeing 4 stars
5/10/04 the conundrum I loved it! 4 stars
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  05-Mar-2004 (R)



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